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-   -   Spouse denying access... what to do? (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/spouse-denying-access-what-do-7350/)

Paytable2 08-06-2010 01:43 PM

Spouse denying access... what to do?
 
Starting on my X's first week of vacation in July she kept the children without my consent on my weekend when she should have returned them Friday (she returned them Sunday evening until Monday AM.

I had planned a 2 week vacation including 2 of her weekends (this would equal out her winter vacation where she did the same and took 2 of my weekends to travel). This had been discussed but not specifically agreed to and shortly before my 2 week vacation was to begin she flat our refused to allow me the second weekend and forced me by threatening an emergency court order, to return the children (we did agree to 'split' the final weekend though).

Today(Friday) I learn that she intends to keep them this weekend (my weekend) as punishment for 'messing up her vacation with the split weekend' compromise.

As far as I am concerned she is denying access and from what I understand this is serious yet I am discovering that it seems there's little I can do to enforce our agreement and my weekends!

Tried the court house but an emergency order seems to require some sort of imminent danger to the children to be considered 'emergency' and missing a weekend does not seem to me that it would fit that bill.

Phoned CAS, they tell me they have nothing to do with this kind of thing.

I'd like to know what I need to do, what process I need to initiate with the court to make it easier to enforce my rights.

Also, what do I do to enforce a court order should I be granted one?

I will be self representing as I can't afford to blow $ on a lawyer, this should not be a difficult process to enforce an already binding agreement?

Thanks.

epinecone 08-06-2010 03:14 PM

Police Enforcement Order
 
Read my post on the Police Enforcement Order.. If you have an existing order, and she routinely does not follow it, then at least the police can help you.

Paytable2 08-06-2010 03:25 PM

A signed S/A that has not been converted to an oder by the court wouldn't qualify then? DO I need to ask the court to order her to comply before I can ask for police help?

Nadia 08-06-2010 03:40 PM

Police Enforcement Clause
 
You need to make sure a "Police Assist" clause is included in your court order. It needs to specificaly state, "The (name of local police force), the name of provinicial police), the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and any police and/or law enforcement agencies as may have jurisdiction, are hereby authorized and directed to assist both parties in enforcing the custody and access provisions set out in this order."

Once you have this in your court order, then you can request for Police assistance in cases where access is denied. Without the Police Enforcement clause, police officers are reluctant to get involved.

In respect to past efforts to deny access, you can have her charged with contempt. But be aware that this is a quasi criminal charge and judges are reluctant to hold any party in contempt unless there are clear grounds or a pattern of repeated behavior.

Nadia

epinecone 08-06-2010 03:43 PM

If you can get the police to help..
 
IF you go to the police for help, as a man, without a court order containing a Police Enforcment Clause, I would be very impressed if they did anything to help you...

You need to go to court and get an order... and at the same time based on your experience, I would get the court to add the police enforcment clause..

If she takes the kids for days she is not supposed to have them.. You can either get help from the courts or from the police..(Assuming the PEO)

Dont expect any help from CAS, in my experience they seem to be geared towards the "Children" meaning mommy and the kids and not just the kids.

Paytable2 08-06-2010 03:47 PM

Thanks for the tip.
This has just started this summer over vacations where she has just 'kept' the kids on her vacation week and run it into my weekend when they should have clearly been returned Friday.
As a result there are only now 2 instances of denial of access, I can't imagine this would constitute 'repeated behavior' would it?

In your opinion, would showing that she has been in contempt twice and knowingly denied access unilaterally by providing email documentation and affidavits from other witnessing the missed time be a strong enough case to convince a judge an order with police assist is necessary?

If only this was taken as seriously as support enforcement!

Paytable2 08-06-2010 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by epinecone (Post 45263)
IF you go to the police for help, as a man, without a court order containing a Police Enforcment Clause, I would be very impressed if they did anything to help you...

You need to go to court and get an order... and at the same time based on your experience, I would get the court to add the police enforcment clause..

If she takes the kids for days she is not supposed to have them.. You can either get help from the courts or from the police..(Assuming the PEO)

Dont expect any help from CAS, in my experience they seem to be geared towards the "Children" meaning mommy and the kids and not just the kids.

I would agree in your statement about going to police.

I know I can have my S/A or any part of it changed to an order upon request.
Could I ask a judge to convert our access arrangements to an order AND add the PEO clause to it based on 2 occurrences?

I should note that our S/A stated that I am to get an additional 'day' as of this year and as such I will have the children 7 nights out of 14. I understand number of nights spent with each parent is how they typically calculate percentage parenting time? She has stated that 'she will discuss it with her lawyer' when I mentioned that clause came into effect this year.
I somewhat expect that she may not comply with the S/A on that front either and if so, I will need to have that clause sent to the judge for an order at which time I'd like to add the PEO.

Nadia 08-06-2010 03:58 PM

Paytable2,

I think you would certainly have grounds to have the Police Assist clause included. There has already been denial of access. You want to make sure it doesn't happen again.

However, I don't think you will be successful in having her held in contempt by the court at this point. But that doesn't mean you can't warn her that she will be in danger of being held in contempt if she continues to behave this way. Sometimes the warning itself is enough.

Nadia

Paytable2 08-11-2010 10:01 AM

My X is claiming that she was simply on 'vacation'. Fact is she was, her weekend plus the 5 subsequent days should equal a "week" vacation however she extended it to include my weekend. This happened 2 times, both times without explicitly telling me the dates but just stating the 'week' she was taking.

I'm not sure how her trying to muddy the water would be on this, it's I think a little different than if it were say my normal weekend and she just refuses access, possibly a little more cut & dried.

Any opinions on whether this would be a problem for me in winning an access order?

HammerDad 08-11-2010 10:41 AM

It is more contempt than anything.

I would advise her that she is not entitled to your parenting time without your previous consent. And that should she do this again you will be forced to seek relief from the courts through a contempt action.

In the mean time, if you have a signed separation agreement, have it filed with your local court house, which causes the agreement to pretty much into a court order. That way should you ever need to go to court, you have a file number to reference.

You could also ask if you are entitled to the same vacation period moving forward as you want to be clear of what the vacation times for each parent actually is. If she puts up a stink about you be entitled to the same thing, ask her how she believes she should be entitled to it then.


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