Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 01-15-2006, 11:35 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 205
sasha1 is on a distinguished road
Default

Grace, I agree he shouldn't take the kids, and that's what caused the latest in the feud.. I refused to allow him to take them, but told him he could come here to see them or I would meet him somewhere. He won't see them at all unless it's under his conditions, so that's where it sits. My lawyer says he could say that he doesn't want to expose the kids to a hostile environment, and that's why he won't visit them, and that the court might even pat him on the back for his 'sacrifice'. I don't have many options, though; I can't trust him to be responsible with the kids, his family has tried to help him hide his breeches of the previous court orders, including that he not drink while the kids were in his care. So it would likely have to be a court-appointed supervisor, and my lawyer says besides being expensive, my ex would just have to behave himself a few times a month for a few monthes, and eventually will get a 'gold star' for behaviour, and I'll look like a neurotic, vengeful ex-wife. Then I'll be short on credibility and he'll be short on reasons to be responsible.

As for the disclosure, I don't know a lot about his income for 2005, but enough, I think. By that, I mean I know what his gross earnings were by the end of October.. after that, he started working for another company, so I don't have any details there. The main benefit to getting his disclosure now would be to illustrate that he's still drinking heavily; he's likely still using his debit card at the bars and liquor stores.

I don't really know what to say about my confidence in my lawyer; I'm really back and forth on it. I will talk to legal aid, though, and see if they can't help with at least some of it; this legal bill will wipe us out if I don't make some sort of change.

Any thoughts on what "completed a rehab program" would mean, in terms of my ex? I mean, right now he's supposedly going to AA twice a week "when he can", but I know he's still drinking, because he's phoned me drunk! Is it reasonable to ask that he keep a financial accounting of where his money goes? He's a liar, and he's lied to counsellors about how much and how often he drinks before, yet short of an in-patient program, how do you know when an alcoholic isn't drinking anymore?
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-16-2006, 11:07 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 860
Grace has a spectacular aura aboutGrace has a spectacular aura about
Default

sasha1,

What an awful situation. I still can't believe he's allowed to drive the kids around with a pending DUI charge. I hope he will have to serve some time in jail, maybe that will sober him up. Or when he faces the charges the Judge will force him into rehab. Is that coming up soon? Maybe they will suspend his licence.

As for getting his banks statement through disclosure he'll probably just say he was treating his friends to rounds at the bar while he was drinking soft drinks. Hard to prove.
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-17-2006, 02:57 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 205
sasha1 is on a distinguished road
Default

True, but I highly doubt there's a judge out there who'd believe that he was so generous with his buddies while refusing to support his kids... his average monthly spending on alcohol (when he was with me - probably higher now) was around $1000/month.

In regard to the DUI, he was supposed to enter a plea last week, and didn't show up; now there's a warrant issued for his arrest. And he's not really allowed to drive the kids around, because he was given an automatic 3-month suspension following the charge. It's supposed to give him incentive to get his butt into court and deal with the issue. He's proposed that his parents come pick the kids up, which would be fine if he didn't have such a history of driving with a suspended licence, and his parents didn't have such a history of burying their heads in the sand while he breaks the law. Last word I had from him is that he's planning to fight the charge, and he's been 'pretending' that he's quit drinking, so I'm guessing he's going for a curative discharge. If that's granted, he will have to face some type of rehab program and report regularily to a probation officer, etc, in lieu of going to jail.

The timing is really quite an issue; if I don't get into court pretty quickly, he'll let the house be foreclosed on, forcing the kids and I out. Also, if he's sent to jail, and we haven't had our issues heard, there will be no order for support or custody. However, if I get him into court before he's convicted of the DUI charges, they don't hold as much weight in terms of showing him to be an alcoholic. I'm assuming that if he's in jail for his DUI, the court won't hear our custody/support/property issues in his absence?
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 01-17-2006, 08:10 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 860
Grace has a spectacular aura aboutGrace has a spectacular aura about
Default

Sasha1

Your situation is so sad. If he does end up in jail, there goes any hope of support. I do know that even if your husband is in custody your case will still move forward through the courts. Either his lawyer can represent him, or he can be video link in.

I hope this gets settle quickly for you, you must be so stressed.
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 01-17-2006, 09:59 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 115
Aden is on a distinguished road
Default

Sasha, you have to remember that an impaired charge along with conditions is a very heavy duty charge these days,... it will be like a double edged swird for you.. taking care of him in the picture yet,, no spousal or child support- i feel for you.. you are a victim along with your kids,,.. very sad... Keep your chin up... you seem to have the tenacity needed to see this through..
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2006, 11:47 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 205
sasha1 is on a distinguished road
Default

Thanks Grace and Aden! I am stressed, and it's really a miserable situation in so many ways, but we'll get through it. I have faith that this is all happening for a reason, and someday I'll know why, but in the meantime, I'm just grateful to have my family and sites like this for support and strength to keep fighting the good fight.

Aden, I'm not sure what you mean, "an impaired charge along with conditions"? Can you elaborate on your post for me? (Brain's a bit overloaded, LOL!)
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2006, 06:13 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 115
Aden is on a distinguished road
Default Re:

Conditions are placed on a person upon released either from being charged or from court proceedings, ie.. many impaired cases have strict zero tolerance conditions. ie.. NO drinking and driving not a drop... this depends on factors though.. but a history will generate more of these- normally licence supsensions and seizures etc...
hope that helped..
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:38 AM.