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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 08-19-2017, 05:20 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
sounds complicated

Sheesh - what happened to parents simply splitting the summer - one takes the kids in July and the other in August? If one parent has to work then they could put kids in camp for 2 of the 4 weeks that they have with the kids. This way parents have option of a full month of uninterrupted time with their kids if they want it. Backup plans could include a visit with grandparents perhaps?

If someone has worked for same employer for many years then they would have at least 3 weeks vacation time would they not?


We certainly wouldn't go a month without seeing the children and I highly doubt most parents would want to go a month without seeing their kids. Thus the every other week works well.


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  #42 (permalink)  
Old 08-19-2017, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
sounds complicated

Sheesh - what happened to parents simply splitting the summer - one takes the kids in July and the other in August? If one parent has to work then they could put kids in camp for 2 of the 4 weeks that they have with the kids. This way parents have option of a full month of uninterrupted time with their kids if they want it. Backup plans could include a visit with grandparents perhaps?

If someone has worked for same employer for many years then they would have at least 3 weeks vacation time would they not?


He tells me he has 5 weeks off per year. The trouble with the full month idea is that they have a 3 year old brother who they would miss dearly for that whole time. Yes, I know, not their dad's concern at all; however, I don't see that being a sustainable plan when both kids complain now about being away from him for too long. Knowing my kids, they'd likely not want to be away for more than 2 weeks. They've actually never gone more than one week away from me.
I am working on a plan that would involve some longer uninterrupted stretches for both their dad and myself. I agree that it's hard to plan a big trip otherwise.


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  #43 (permalink)  
Old 08-19-2017, 08:52 PM
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Yes and I suppose much depends on the age and maturity of the children. Just seems like alot of useless running around to me. We used to leave our son with his grandmother (ex's mother & father) for 2 weeks in the summer... sometimes in both July and August. He loved it. Then he would usually go to a camp for 1 week each month. I think kids need a break from their parents and parents need a break from their kids!
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  #44 (permalink)  
Old 08-19-2017, 09:11 PM
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Man I used to LOVE it when our son was away at camp or with grandparents. Then-husband and I could take a trip to the mountains... I could catch up with friends without worrying about being home at a certain time... then-husband and I would purge son's bedroom of old toys and 'stuff' he had accumulated through the year. Meanwhile son was making new friends and, yes, finding himself in new and likely somewhat uncomfortable situations. He had to learn to adjust to new rules and different activities and that he didn't get to do whatever he wanted all of the time.

Also it was very good for son to learn to be on his own, without me doting over him. He had to eat whatever he was given... no "picky eater" behavior was tolerated. If you want your children to grow and learn you have to expose them to different situations instead of coddling them all the time. Doesn't hurt kids to 'suck it up' and go to mother's/father's/grandparents place for a week or two. When they come back they appreciate you more.. at least for a while.

I hope we're not raising a generation of food-phobic children who can't fend for themselves. I think people should remember the legal age of when their kids can actually start to babysit. Too much mommy-coddling isn't good.
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  #45 (permalink)  
Old 08-19-2017, 09:44 PM
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Man I used to LOVE it when our son was away at camp or with grandparents. Then-husband and I could take a trip to the mountains... I could catch up with friends without worrying about being home at a certain time... then-husband and I would purge son's bedroom of old toys and 'stuff' he had accumulated through the year. Meanwhile son was making new friends and, yes, finding himself in new and likely somewhat uncomfortable situations. He had to learn to adjust to new rules and different activities and that he didn't get to do whatever he wanted all of the time.

Also it was very good for son to learn to be on his own, without me doting over him. He had to eat whatever he was given... no "picky eater" behavior was tolerated. If you want your children to grow and learn you have to expose them to different situations instead of coddling them all the time. Doesn't hurt kids to 'suck it up' and go to mother's/father's/grandparents place for a week or two. When they come back they appreciate you more.. at least for a while.

I hope we're not raising a generation of food-phobic children who can't fend for themselves. I think people should remember the legal age of when their kids can actually start to babysit.
Too much mommy-coddling isn't good.
I work at a University and can confirm that we have!
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  #46 (permalink)  
Old 08-20-2017, 10:48 PM
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Sheesh - what happened to parents simply splittng the summer - one takes the kids in July and the other in August?
I agree, it's getting a bit ridiculous. People get so hung up on small stuff. 7 day stretches here and there? Not even in a row? Is that what Ange said? Who cares? By the way, why is it so repulsive that he's fighting to see his kids more on his time off? That means he wants to "be more involved" and see his kids more.

Parents need to relax, this small crap stresses kids out. Live your life, be flexible and kind ... and stop making everything so terrifyingly complex,

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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
We certainly wouldn't go a month without seeing the children and I highly doubt most parents would want to go a month without seeing their kids. Thus the every other week works well.

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Many of my friends and I went to hockey camp for over a month in the summer. It was great exercise, I learned things like windsurfing and made a ton of friends. This isn't as irregular as you might think.

Arabian had some good viewpoints and experiences on her post regarding this stuff.
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I hope we're not raising a generation of food-phobic children who can't fend for themselves.
Unfortunately, that's exactly what's happening.
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  #47 (permalink)  
Old 08-20-2017, 11:11 PM
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I just want the very minimum in communication with him. It's affecting my well being.
Than don't talk to him at all. You don't have to.
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  #48 (permalink)  
Old 08-21-2017, 07:16 AM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I agree, it's getting a bit ridiculous. People get so hung up on small stuff. 7 day stretches here and there? Not even in a row? Is that what Ange said? Who cares? By the way, why is it so repulsive that he's fighting to see his kids more on his time off? That means he wants to "be more involved" and see his kids more.



Parents need to relax, this small crap stresses kids out. Live your life, be flexible and kind ... and stop making everything so terrifyingly complex,





Many of my friends and I went to hockey camp for over a month in the summer. It was great exercise, I learned things like windsurfing and made a ton of friends. This isn't as irregular as you might think.



Arabian had some good viewpoints and experiences on her post regarding this stuff.

Unfortunately, that's exactly what's happening.


Totally different in intact families. I'm sure you wouldn't agree to your daughter going to camp for a month and then going to moms for two weeks for her time with the child? Intact families work differently, but I stand by my response that a month without seeing the children would never fly, on either parents end. Camp for a week? Sure but a months time? Not a chance.


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  #49 (permalink)  
Old 08-21-2017, 07:18 AM
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Than don't talk to him at all. You don't have to.

This would be wonderful, however it is not very realistic. I am on the trial list for January and nothing has technically been settled. I don't think it would be wise of me to just drop all communication.



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  #50 (permalink)  
Old 08-21-2017, 07:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Totally different in intact families. I'm sure you wouldn't agree to your daughter going to camp for a month and then going to moms for two weeks for her time with the child? Intact families work differently, but I stand by my response that a month without seeing the children would never fly, on either parents end. Camp for a week? Sure but a months time? Not a chance.


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I completely agree. There's no way I'm agreeing to go a month without seeing my kids. They'd never want that either. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing one week or two week stretches. Or camp if one parent decides to put them in on their time.


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