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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-05-2014, 06:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy'sMom View Post
WW!

You people just boggle my mind. Are you suspicious of everyone? Think anything and everything is some kind of back handed attack or injustice?

Not you directly BF; but I'm seeing this kind of attitude a lot here...


My concern is for my children, their relationship and this is something my son asked to find out for him; so hat he can apply to see his sister to be able to have her at his events for school, cadets, track meets, wrestling, etc and because he wants to take her for icecream and simple stuff like that. The things big brothers often do with their little sisters.

I'm sure it is more about him wanting to some sense normality back in his life because things have become so unstable and scary lately, and while is mad at my X I told him he's not allowed to vent that anger through the court cases or any kind of physical means should they ever cross paths...

He's a big brother. He worries about his little sister and wants to be there for her. Should he not be able to do those things because my X is being a jerk?
Kids should be kept out of legal proceedings, especially when the relationship between the parents is high-conflict. This is between adults. Your son has expressed that he wants to see his sister more, and you are taking the appropriate steps by seeking more contact between the kids.

Your motives in wanting him to start his own court application may be good, but I can guarantee you that this would be seen as an attempt to drag the kids, as they grow older, into the conflict between their parents. You will be seen as manipulating your son, whether you actually are or not.

The other posters may sound harsh, but they're providing you with exactly the same reaction you can expect to get if you were to encourage your son to move ahead with this idea. They're doing you a favour by discouraging you.

Last edited by stripes; 05-05-2014 at 06:55 PM. Reason: Trying to fix quotes
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 05-05-2014, 08:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
Kids should be kept out of legal proceedings, especially when the relationship between the parents is high-conflict. This is between adults. Your son has expressed that he wants to see his sister more, and you are taking the appropriate steps by seeking more contact between the kids.

Your motives in wanting him to start his own court application may be good, but I can guarantee you that this would be seen as an attempt to drag the kids, as they grow older, into the conflict between their parents. You will be seen as manipulating your son, whether you actually are or not.

The other posters may sound harsh, but they're providing you with exactly the same reaction you can expect to get if you were to encourage your son to move ahead with this idea. They're doing you a favour by discouraging you.
Thank you and I think you're right.

I'm sure that many people would see this kind of situation as me trying to bring the kids in to the argument and court battle; but with complete and utter honesty and in all sincerity I'm really just trying to help my kids have their rights and voices recognized in this process.


I apologize if anyone took offense to my statements.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2014, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy'sMom View Post
WW!

You people just boggle my mind. Are you suspicious of everyone? Think anything and everything is some kind of back handed attack or injustice?

Not you directly BF; but I'm seeing this kind of attitude a lot here...


My concern is for my children, their relationship and this is something my son asked to find out for him; so hat he can apply to see his sister to be able to have her at his events for school, cadets, track meets, wrestling, etc and because he wants to take her for icecream and simple stuff like that. The things big brothers often do with their little sisters.

I'm sure it is more about him wanting to some sense normality back in his life because things have become so unstable and scary lately, and while is mad at my X I told him he's not allowed to vent that anger through the court cases or any kind of physical means should they ever cross paths...

He's a big brother. He worries about his little sister and wants to be there for her. Should he not be able to do those things because my X is being a jerk?
Your son should not be dragged into this, especially if you have an on-going motion regarding access (and/or custody) of the child.

If you have a motion for parenting time in the mix, a judge would likely toss your sons motion for access because your motion hasn't been ruled on. Once a judge rules on your motion for parenting time, it would likely negate the need for your sons motion by either:

a) granting you parenting time with your other child, thus all those things you mention above you can do during your parenting time; or

b) should you be denied parenting time for any particular reason, which would only be if it is felt you were a danger to the child, it would have a direct negative impact on your sons application, as you were denied parenting time, but it would be obvious to the courts that your sons motion is a means to circumvent that.

Not knowing all the dirty details, and only getting one side of the story, we can't tell how your court battle for custody will go. That you gave up custody for a number of years and had little contact with the child will not help you. Status quo has been established. You will likely get parenting time, so you and your kids can go out and do things together during that time.

But your sons motion would likely be seen as a duplication of your motion and be tossed.
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Old 05-06-2014, 11:24 AM
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I'm wondering if this is a case where the OCL would get involved. They are the advocates for the rights of children, they would be able to represent them, without putting the son on the stand.
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Old 05-06-2014, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
I'm wondering if this is a case where the OCL would get involved. They are the advocates for the rights of children, they would be able to represent them, without putting the son on the stand.
But which child? The OP's first child, whom isn't a party to this? (nor should they be.) Or the second child?

If the OCL were to agree to take this on, they would likely want the OP's case to clear the courts first, as if she is awarded parenting time, their need to intervene become redundant, so why waste the resources?
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Old 05-06-2014, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
But which child? The OP's first child, whom isn't a party to this? (nor should they be.) Or the second child?

If the OCL were to agree to take this on, they would likely want the OP's case to clear the courts first, as if she is awarded parenting time, their need to intervene become redundant, so why waste the resources?
I see your point. Our thought was that my son (lives w me) could apply for time with his sister (lives w X) which would be presented as a matter completely separate from my case.

My X is attempting to make me appear a danger to the children and has called CAS already with a laundry list of lies which have already been investigated and found false.
It's likely that the courts will do the same; but the application for the children is something I wanted to set into motion so that should the courts not be satisfied with the evidence I have at our case conference, the children's relationship and time together would not be impacted by any conditions or restrictions which could be placed on me...

I'm being badly attacked and berated by my X with false allegations to CAS, repeated attempts to have me charged by police (no charges ever laid), a Peace Bond application set against me by his GF, and some of the most devaluing lies of my parenting abilities in our court documents.
My X is not 'playing fair' and while I'm not out to spite him in any way, I don't think it fair that the children be made to suffer due to his dirty work.



May I ask, what is this OCL you've mentioned?
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2014, 12:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy'sMom View Post
I see your point. Our thought was that my son (lives w me) could apply for time with his sister (lives w X) which would be presented as a matter completely separate from my case.

My X is attempting to make me appear a danger to the children and has called CAS already with a laundry list of lies which have already been investigated and found false.
It's likely that the courts will do the same; but the application for the children is something I wanted to set into motion so that should the courts not be satisfied with the evidence I have at our case conference, the children's relationship and time together would not be impacted by any conditions or restrictions which could be placed on me...

I'm being badly attacked and berated by my X with false allegations to CAS, repeated attempts to have me charged by police (no charges ever laid), a Peace Bond application set against me by his GF, and some of the most devaluing lies of my parenting abilities in our court documents.
My X is not 'playing fair' and while I'm not out to spite him in any way, I don't think it fair that the children be made to suffer due to his dirty work.



May I ask, what is this OCL you've mentioned?
OCL is Office of the Children's Lawyer, a government agency that represents children when needed, often in custody issues.

The Office of the Children's Lawyer - Ministry of the Attorney General

False accusations are not uncommon, many other posters here have been through it. Often it is a tactic to put you on the defensive, make you focus on those issues, instead of working on the real issues.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2014, 01:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy'sMom View Post
I see your point. Our thought was that my son (lives w me) could apply for time with his sister (lives w X) which would be presented as a matter completely separate from my case.

My X is attempting to make me appear a danger to the children and has called CAS already with a laundry list of lies which have already been investigated and found false.
It's likely that the courts will do the same; but the application for the children is something I wanted to set into motion so that should the courts not be satisfied with the evidence I have at our case conference, the children's relationship and time together would not be impacted by any conditions or restrictions which could be placed on me...

I'm being badly attacked and berated by my X with false allegations to CAS, repeated attempts to have me charged by police (no charges ever laid), a Peace Bond application set against me by his GF, and some of the most devaluing lies of my parenting abilities in our court documents.
My X is not 'playing fair' and while I'm not out to spite him in any way, I don't think it fair that the children be made to suffer due to his dirty work.



May I ask, what is this OCL you've mentioned?
Ignore your ex's allegations. They are only meant to distract you from the matter at hand. And know that the ex has to prove the allegations, and if he cannot, the allegations won't be considered.

But whether or not the kids time together will be as a result of whether or not you get parenting time. And until the courts make the that decision, they will likely be unwilling to even entertain the child's motion.
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