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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-04-2017, 03:57 PM
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Default Should I take lie detector test?

So back in September, we took my ex in for not following the court order. Judge gave her a stern talking to and gave her 6 months to see if she can follow the order otherwise she would be losing access time to our son, jail or a monetary fine. She was also ordered to take anger management courses.

6 months is up (still not following order, she only takes him to kindergarten 50% of the time on her days), and 3 days ago she emailed sexual abuse centre that she has strong concerns that I am molesting my son. She brought up points from a closed investigation about a year ago that was investigated by the police. They closed the file as it was unsubstantiated by our son.

The only thing she added new to it was that I have a new girlfriend and she has a 3 year old. Her comment in complaint was that, "his gf's son is wetting in his bed at night and he doesn't do this at his dad's house". The kicker is that he's 3 and he wears pull ups to sleep and his dad puts him in pull ups as well and can corroborate that he does pee in his bed at his bed as well. She reached out my gf's ex to tell him that. She has reached out to gf's work boss to let him know my gf and myself are bad people.

She then put in a note to say that she will be taking a lie detector test this Friday (to say that she isn't lying and believes I am molesting my son and possibly my gf's son). She passed the test.

I called the police and they said to me that the file is closed, and her hoping that she taking a lie detector will "ante" up anything is false and ignore her. Document it for your lawyer and the police never ask the reporter to take a lie detector test so her hiring how own private speaks to something about her. The investigation is closed and you need to tell the judge all this.

I don't see the logic, it's like asking people who believe in UFO's to take lie detectors and if they pass, it's true that they exist?

Part of me wants to take it as it clears my name, but the constable stated we investigated it's closed, and it's not going to stop, she'll start asking you to take a lie detector test for everything.

What do you guys think? Should I do it? I have no problem doing it? And I understand that you can't submit this to court but do you think it would have any weight for her to submit it?

Last edited by FirstTimer; 03-04-2017 at 04:02 PM.
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Old 03-04-2017, 04:23 PM
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I most certainly WOULD NOT submit to a lie detector test or anything else that is not ordered by a court.

Don't fall into her bullshit drama and don't comment on anything she sends you. Document = yes. But then ignore. Why are you even communicating with this nut-job?

If your girlfriend feels harassed or threatened by your ex she could get a peace bond requesting that she stay away from her place of employment. This doesn't cost anything.
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Old 03-06-2017, 04:50 PM
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Don't fall to her level of stupid. Nothing good can come of it.

Continue acting level headed and normal. Do not let her baseless accusations to cause you to do something of no benefit to yourself.

It is possible that the ex will take the test and maybe even pass it. Because if the questions are like "do you truly believe X is molesting the child", given her level of crazy, it is possible the answer will be honest. That she truly does believe it. However, her believing something and that something being real are two distinct and separate realities.
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Old 03-06-2017, 08:43 PM
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Firstimer

These are extremely serious allegations. While I haven't dealt with that specific allegation. I have dealt with many others.

Before I go into to much detail let me answer your question. Like the other two people on this site. I would suggest that you do not take any lie detector test.
Here is why, they are unreliable and have no positive outcome.
If you say no, and it comes back (as true) then the mother will simply say lie detectors are unproven, or worst claim that it's proof that you are a pathological liar and can beat the test.
If you say no, and it comes back (as false) it may simply be that you were nervous and is not definitive proof that you are molesting your child. Yet your ex will make that comment at every opportunity in every affidavit and even will call your employer and let them know.
If you agree which I don't think you should, it is a lose - lose situation.

Now for the more serious things, first you are in family court. She has emailed a sexual abuse center, how do you know this? Do you have a copy of the email? Was the email forwarded to the police? Can you get a copy of the email?
Second she has communicated with your employer that you are a bad parent. This is extremely serious. How did she communicate, was it in a email or was it over the phone. Is your boss willing to document or put in writing what she said, is there a recording of what she said.

These are all extremely important questions. and here is why.
In family court - a parent with custody of the child has a responsibility to foster a relationship between the child and the access parent. Both of these are concrete evidence which demonstrates that she is incapable of taking on that responsibility. You can now bring a motion indicating this and indicating that the police have closed the file and request a temporary order for sole custody.

In civil court, which are in all rights completely within your rights to pursue in tandem with the family court proceeding. The term to look up is deformation. Which is either Slander (Verbal) or Libal (written).

Read the next post.
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Old 03-06-2017, 09:10 PM
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Elements of Defamation are:
1. The words/statement are defamatory
2. They Refer to the plaintiff
3. They are Published to a 3rd party
The following is the definition of defamation as taken from:
Canadian Broadcasting Corp. v. Color your world Corp., 1998 CanLII 1983 (ON CA)
A defamatory statement is one which has a tendency to injure the reputation of the person to whom it refers; which tends, that is to say, to lower him [or her] in the estimation of right-thinking members of society generally and in particular to cause him [or her] to be regarded with feelings of hatred, contempt, ridicule, fear, dislike, or disesteem. The statement is judged by the standard of an ordinary, right- thinking member of society. Hence the test is an objective one . . .

The mother communicated with your boss about you (element 2 and 3), and your gf, the statements where defamatory (element 1).

The mother communicated with a sexual assault center, they documented and passed on (published) to the police. The statement was defamatory. Again all three elements are met.

Whether or not they were believed or not, is irrelevant and not a factor.

Also in defamation law once the three elements are met, damages are assumed and do not need to be proven.

I would be documenting these things as quickly as possible, get your boss to document and date their documentation. The closer to the conversation the better.

Lastly once these elements have been met the burden of proof shifts to her to properly defend herself. And their are only set number of defences she can use.
For instance: 1. It was true you are molesting your son (remember it is her burden of proof to prove it) Police won't support her so it falls apart.
2. It was an opinion (this is where the conversation or email is helpful) it is likely not written as an opinion piece like a editorial.

In civil law you have a 2 year limit or suing.

You may also want to look into the following issues as they are all also relevant to the matter at hand.

Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress. (IIED)
And perhaps seeing if the police will lay mischief charges or malicious prosecution charges.

Important to note though if you request the police to lay charges their burden of proof is (beyond reasonable doubt) where civil is (balance or probability)
Also if the police lay charges, it prevents you from seeking punitive damages on top of regular damages as criminal charges and conviction is punitive in nature and would negate the civil courts from assigning punitive damages.

I know this is lot to take in.

Lastly none of this is legal advice. LOL
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Old 03-08-2017, 12:49 AM
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Hey thanks for the advice everyone. Much appreciated. I think this weekend I went into a panic state as part of me felt that I need to prove myself that I am innocent again but these are just manipulative mind games that she's playing.

Case in point, I went to the sexual assault center where she reported it yesterday and had a nice long talk with the intake worker there. She recognized who I was as she was the one that was exchanging with my ex on Wednesday.

She had said the whole exchange with my ex was "off". In the sense that my ex didn't answer her questions for more information like (was this reported to the police, is it still being investigated etc). As well, the intake worker asked her to call to discuss but my ex wouldn't talk on the phone. She had a feeling my ex was "digging" and wanted everything in email. Finally, she just told my ex what the general process was to get our son into there aka counselling and that both parents would have to give consent and if I didn't, my ex could get a judge to give consent.

Funny thing was that my ex had then taken out everything else in the email exchange and only left her accusations and that comment about consent and forwarded it to me asking if I consent to taking our son there.

The intake worker said that was completely not what she meant, that she was talking in a general sense and my ex made it sound like the centre wanted our son in which is NOT the case, and keep this as notes for the judge that she is baiting and digging into something that is not there aka nothing occurred. She also didn't think my ex taking a lie detector test matters, she can believe it but it doesn't mean it happened.

So thanks everyone, I will keep on ignoring from now on and keep everything to just exchange and pick up times.
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Old 03-08-2017, 12:51 AM
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As for defamation...thanks I will look into that. I will ask my lawyer if that is something we can pursue as it hasn't stopped the past 2 years.
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