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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 03-03-2006, 11:43 PM
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honey Im home,

Yikes, I'm either read this incorrectly or something doesnt make sense. So the ex wife kicks your friend out of his house. Unless there is substantiated allegation of abuse this cannot happen. Did he leave on his own accord? And why on earth would he let 5 years go by with her living in the house and he not doing anything about it??? Let alone paying for the house expenses. Sounds to me that he agreed to this arrangement or he wouldn't have contributed toward its.

Just the way I see it,
Grace
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 03-04-2006, 12:01 AM
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Sadly this is probably the way a judge will look at it as well, unless there is omething missing here.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 03-06-2006, 08:51 PM
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Hey Custom Gal:

Sorry had a sick little one on my hands for the past couple of days. Someone has been paddling in the creek and is now ill, lessoned learnt... don't paddle in the winter.. - even high creek is only just below knees, so no worries about falling in and that...looking better today... thank goodness.

As to her constant double dipping... that was why I came on here was to find out if she had any legal recourse because she re-started her child support 4 years later, therefore she is in fact saying that they were together for those four years... or he was a lazy slob and refused to pay... (which is not the case).... anyway either they had a reconciliation or not, in which case if it was a reconciliation then how come she could re-instate the child support???

And I thougth the law was black and white and that is soooo not true... More like the law is ALL grey. And there I was thinking that if "my" ex and I decided to get back together...(lol to funny that)... in fact have a "reconciliation", and I also believe that if our reconciliation lasts MORE than 90 day's that I wasn't entitled to ANYTHING unless I filed a "NEW" agreement.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 03-06-2006, 09:01 PM
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Grace:

Hey... Okay I'll get to the point cause I have to leave, no there is no "actual" abuse on record... this is a long story, but does that really matter in the scheme of things.. I could understand if there was abuse. My question is As per my reply above regarding the reconciliation and her wanting 1/2 the house. Would it help if I told you that she works within the legal system. And YES he was paying rent on an apartment that a friend let him move onto his couch. He was paying the mortgage all the bills and giving her support, then he stopped paying the bills and she had no choice other than go back to work full time (O she decided 6 months after moving into HIS house that she no longer wanted to work full time) and/or re-start up the child support. So instead of working she picked up the phone and called the FRO and had the support payments re-started. due to company takeovers work became pretty much dead and when he told me he was living in his car... well what do you do eh...

I don't understand mind you about HOW can she claim they had a reconciliation cause she wants 1/2 of his house, but on the other hand say, well we didn't really have a reconciliation so could you please put the court order back in place and garnish his wages. This is what I don't understand.
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Old 03-06-2006, 09:05 PM
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And that's where it's WRONG....

First abuse case... she does something (I'm sorry you don't do that to ANYONE) anyway he moves to deflect and his hand brushes her cheek, she smiles and walks into the kitchen and calls the police. Police report STATES that he could charge HER..... for the sake of the kids he didn't... maybe he should have EH...
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 03-06-2006, 11:36 PM
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by the way... I forgot... has anyone tried to fight the FRO.... YOU CAN'T.... you either pay or you could go to jail. Court Orders say someone has to pay this much they pay this much, they don't care that you are putting a roof over someones head or not and if you don't like it.... go back to court and have that changed. Well that's bloody hard to do when you have your wages garnished, sometimes to the point of his pay being under 100, and trust me he pays nearly 300 a week plus the mortgage, plus the taxes.... for what .... for NOT charging "her" with abuse, she forges cheques on his account .... she steals from him... but he doesn't charge her cause he doesn't want her to look bad in the kids eyes... you tell me..... where is it fair....
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 03-06-2006, 11:36 PM
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O I am soooooo glad I don't have these problems.... NOW i know for sure why I've stayed single.....
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 03-07-2006, 01:27 AM
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Hey Honey,

I would have her arrested, who cares what the kids think at this point, your friend has been far too nice and she knows it and that is why she is using him totally and taking advantage of him.

My ex still lives in the house rent-free, but at least he isn't stealing from me, because he would be in jail, and if I ever caught him with marijuana on the property, he would be in jail.

SOmetimes I secretly wish he would touch me so I could get him arrested. Unfortunately, he avoids me like the plague, we really don't see much of each other, when I am home, he takes off and he works straight nights.

If your friends kids are old enough to understand, he should have a little heart-to-heart with them, not tell them everything, but let them know what is going on...bet your bottom dollar she has bad-mouthed him to them, he needs to stand up for himself, not make this an all-out war, but let them know he loves them but something has got to be done.

My daughter is 16 and at one point I did tell her that because her dad is demanding a huge amount of money from me, that we will not be able to live here in this house if I have to pay him. (She knows I can afford it on my own because I told her last year we could stay and that I had been pre-approved by the bank to re-finance). You have to understand...we moved here from a different city 4 years ago, and it was emotionally traumatic for my daughter, who gave up her friends, familiarity, family, etc. When she thought we would have to move again she snapped, pretty much lost a year at school, was on Prozac, etc. It was a terrible thing and when she found out I could afford to live here, her attitude changed and she became so happy...but if I buy his interest out fairly, I certainly cannot afford to pay him spousal support as I will be maxed out. So maybe, just maybe, the courts will not want to see my daughter uprooted, they will allow me to stay in the home and NOT pay her greedy, selfish father spousal support.

Isn't the first responsibility of the courts to ensure the children's interests and well-being are taken care of? If so, then by ordering me to pay spousal, that would mean uprooting my daughter and turning her life upside down...again, surely THAT has account for something! I could pull her medical records to prove she was medicated because of this if I had to.

I know she is not a baby anymore, but still...she has three more years of high school (she won't graduate next year, will have to make up a year because of the turmoil she went through failed 4 or 5 classes), plus she has college...

Anyway...I don't know about everyone else, but I WILL NEVER get married again, that is for sure!!

Customgal
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 03-07-2006, 11:16 AM
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Hey Customgal:

I was thinking about what you said, and that we should all write to Ottawa, but really do you think OTTAWA really cares, (and I don’t mean the city cause I love this city). All the government really cares about is how fast they can give themselves a raise, blah, blah, blah, our government makes me sick. I would write to them but because of my friends situation I don’t want to really stir much up, and I get a little nervous writing about it here (mind you it’s a good outlet for me to vent), cause knowing her she’s reading all this and taking notes….. scary…..

Now the FRO – The Family Responsibility Office – Now that is one scre$%d up organization. With the dealings that my friend has had with them…. Okay he pay’s approximately $300 to $320 per week for the three kids. Which he is fine with, he does not have a problem supporting his children. What he does have a problem with is the FRO. He spoke with them and informed them that he is ALSO providing a roof over their heads at a cost of $800.00 per month (he inherited the house but had to buy out his siblings). That makes her total monthly support of $2,080.00 per month, I wish someone would hand me that FREE every month.

Well that is not entirely true, one is currently residing with him, but because she refuses to tell the FRO that one is living with him he still has to pay the $320 a week. Also WHO IN THIS COUNTRY THAT IS NOT IN GOVERNMENT – gets a 4% raise GUARANTEED every year. Well the FRO does that is who.

He was told by his contact at the FRO that they didn’t care if he was also providing a roof over their heads, the court order says this is what he has to pay. PERIOD. On that note if he doesn’t work, he doesn’t get paid, so over Christmas there was no work, therefore his place of employment took most of his pay and left him with $94.00 to pay the mortgage, buy Christmas pressy’s etc. etc. etc. But sir your employer is only supposed to take ½ your wages and if you don’t like paying the support then take her back to court. Yeah like he can hire a lawyer for ninety four bucks….O and like the FRO is going to give him back money

This was the first time I had ever seen a grown man cry and my heart goes out to him.

I was divorced 15 years ago – never got a penny from the ex – in 15 years I’ve raised my two kids, bought my own house, bought my own car and the kids an I well they may not have been holidays overseas but we’ve done not bad on our own either. And this was all on my $30,000 a year wages.

Would I ever get married again… ha ha ha what a funny question like I would even consider it…. I would rather be alone then ever put up with some of the sh*t that I’ve in the last couple of years. Plus I’ve worked my butt off to provide for the kids and raise them in a house etc… NO WAY would I ever give that to anyone…..
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 03-08-2006, 01:58 AM
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Honey, I can't agree with you more on the marriage bit. Who in the hell would ever want to go through that crap again?

Marriage, ha, with the divorce rate at what, over 50% now, and the spouse who works their butt off to provide for the family getting screwed over to pay the other, who needs it?

Unless you have a prenup in place, but when I was 18, I had nothing and never considered that this man would turn into the complete low-life loser he turned into...he is NOT the man I married, that also should count for something, because if he was, I would still be with him.

He only started to lose his mind about 12 years ago, and has deteriorated ever since. When he had his good paying job in the '90's, he was full of life, showed his love for me, worked hard, had ambition...

Now, he is a gambling addict who has made it clear he was only in the relationship for the past few years because I was his "cash cow" and could pay for everything. He behaved poorly and ignored and neglected me and his children. Life was all about him.

Right, marriage...and it floors me how the lenght of a marriage seems to matter...how many still-married people, after 20, 30, 40 etc. years of marriage are still googly-eyed in love with each other? Not many, my parents included. They just celebrated their 50th and they can't stand each other! My mother told me once she wishes she would have left my father when she was younger, but she is 70, my dad is 75 and she won't do it now. But they are NOT happy...what a way to live.

I still think if EVERYONE who disagrees with the spousal support crap law wrote in and complained, something might be done. You never know, we do have a new government now...would it hurt to try??

If anyone knows who to contact, please advise.

Have a great day tomorrow everyone.

Customgal
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