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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 01-16-2016, 08:35 PM
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you changed the living arrangements by selling you home and buying a new house and having your partner move in with you.

Yes...and?
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-16-2016, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
why would you buy a bigger house if for the past 6 years the place you lived in must of been adequate?
Have you ever tried to get a new partner to move into your old matrimonial home when there is no financial need for it?
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-16-2016, 11:29 PM
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Sorry I don't agree because I have seen it personally where a child support obligation has been completely expunged based entirely on the mother's behaviour. The children were still 14 and 16 at the time.

Also, I think you are actually completely wrong. I have a binding contract with set support amounts and custody arrangements. If one party wants to go back now and change terms in the contract, you're darn right they have to prove a "need" to do so! Changing terms of a contract that in effect affects the other party to that contract, cannot be change unilaterally by one party.

Please post these cases.
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Old 01-17-2016, 01:39 AM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Please post these cases.
Does it have to be a court case to be believable?

A neighbour of mine from my old neighbourhood spent 4 or 5 years having his two boys alienated from him by his ex wife. He would go out to watch his older son's hockey games and if he was spotted in the crowd he would receive nasty emails from his son (supposedly, but maybe the mother?) telling him not to be there because it was a distraction to him. This was the only way he got to see his son, because he refused to see his father. He did this for two years with the same result almost every time he was spotted in the crowd. On the third year he went out to see his son playing again and he had now started playing with the name on his jersey changed to that of his mother's new husband. My neighbour was crushed and he didn't have it in him to go to another game after that. At the end of the year he gets served court papers from his ex going after him to pay for the lion's share of the hockey expenses for his older boy. He went to court to fight it. He brought copies of those nasty emails and the the other evidence he had like name change etc. The judge ruled that the mother's behaviour had "basically reduced him, the real father of the boys to nothing more than a sperm donor and since you can't get child support from a sperm donor, you're not getting any more money from this man!" His child support order was vacated and he never paid her another dime. Sad thing is 10 years later he has not seen either of his boys again.
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Old 01-17-2016, 10:18 AM
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In Québec this does happen (children who refuse contact for no good reason csn lose child suppoet)
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 01-17-2016, 10:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WilsonWilsonWilson View Post
Does it have to be a court case to be believable?

A neighbour of mine from my old neighbourhood spent 4 or 5 years having his two boys alienated from him by his ex wife. He would go out to watch his older son's hockey games and if he was spotted in the crowd he would receive nasty emails from his son (supposedly, but maybe the mother?) telling him not to be there because it was a distraction to him. This was the only way he got to see his son, because he refused to see his father. He did this for two years with the same result almost every time he was spotted in the crowd. On the third year he went out to see his son playing again and he had now started playing with the name on his jersey changed to that of his mother's new husband. My neighbour was crushed and he didn't have it in him to go to another game after that. At the end of the year he gets served court papers from his ex going after him to pay for the lion's share of the hockey expenses for his older boy. He went to court to fight it. He brought copies of those nasty emails and the the other evidence he had like name change etc. The judge ruled that the mother's behaviour had "basically reduced him, the real father of the boys to nothing more than a sperm donor and since you can't get child support from a sperm donor, you're not getting any more money from this man!" His child support order was vacated and he never paid her another dime. Sad thing is 10 years later he has not seen either of his boys again.
I would ask your neighbour for a copy of the case decision.

Often times when people tell a story the facts get watered down.

Legally speaking, child support is the right of the child.
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Old 01-17-2016, 10:37 AM
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In Québec this does happen (children who refuse contact for no good reason csn lose child suppoet)
I've read about this sort of thing (child support ending due to child's refusal to maintain relationship with payor parent) when children are in post-secondary education but not when they are younger.
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Old 01-17-2016, 10:47 AM
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Have you ever tried to get a new partner to move into your old matrimonial home when there is no financial need for it?
she could of moved in with you. Its not like she would be needing her own separate bedroom. You decided to upsize. Now your financial issues are your own.

Actually my partner will be selling his home and moving into my old matrimonial home. There is no financial need for it as we both have fairly good paying jobs that we can easily support ourselves in separate residences. When we were discussing future living arrangements, he suggested that he sell and move into my place. He doesn't see it as the place I lived with my now ex, he sees it as my place and eventually it will be our place.

You try and say that you have a set CS amount. From what I know cs amounts are fluid and change from year to year. There has been a material change in circumstances...your kids want to live with their mother for whatever reason. I take it they still come and see you? If they would have decided to live with you instead would you say that you brainwashed them etc that you are claiming their mother did?

You need to pay CS for the kids, now you need to pay full cs for the kids. Her costs have went up like heat, hydro water and food while yours have gone down. I don't agree with your logic that she was getting along with the offset amount so it should stay that way. Things have changed and with that the agreement will change also.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 01-17-2016, 11:15 AM
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One case is not several cases and it could be watered down in the sense that he didnt have to pay the hockey expenses.

The bottom line is cs is the right of the child and follows the child. Yes you have an order for 50/50 with offset but thats not what you have happening and it hasnt been the case for several months. Your ex is well within her rights to request full support. You can try to argue that shes in contempt for the access but as we've all said, a judge will listen to the kids and if they go in saying we want to live with mom thats what will happen and you'll be on the hook for cs AND legal expenses.

You have to ask yourself if its worth the ten grand in legal costs as well as the months in court and alienating your kids more while still being slapped with a hefty cs arrears amount.
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Old 01-17-2016, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
she could of moved in with you. Its not like she would be needing her own separate bedroom. You decided to upsize. Now your financial issues are your own.

Actually my partner will be selling his home and moving into my old matrimonial home. There is no financial need for it as we both have fairly good paying jobs that we can easily support ourselves in separate residences. When we were discussing future living arrangements, he suggested that he sell and move into my place. He doesn't see it as the place I lived with my now ex, he sees it as my place and eventually it will be our place.

You try and say that you have a set CS amount. From what I know cs amounts are fluid and change from year to year. There has been a material change in circumstances...your kids want to live with their mother for whatever reason. I take it they still come and see you? If they would have decided to live with you instead would you say that you brainwashed them etc that you are claiming their mother did?

You need to pay CS for the kids, now you need to pay full cs for the kids. Her costs have went up like heat, hydro water and food while yours have gone down. I don't agree with your logic that she was getting along with the offset amount so it should stay that way. Things have changed and with that the agreement will change also.
Obviously I cannot expect more advice from people here other than "cookie-cutter" approach because they don't know all the details. But I do have a problem with the insinuation that I am trying to be a dead-beat dad!!!

Living with their mother for "whatever" reason just does not fly in court from what I can see. I live in their school district she doesn't. We promote the realities of life to the children, she promotes whatever makes her a better friend to the children. In other words, we help the kids "push the snow in their way", she jumps in front and does all that for them. Frig, if I was my kids I'd be going to live with her too, but that does not make the decision right because I would do it as well in their shoes. They don't get parented there, they get coddled. We are "tell" parents, she is an "ask" parent. Read the latest article about that in Maclean's magazine and see how damaging this is to children's future coping skills!

I have three children. I have tried several times to convince my children the importance of sharing their time equally with both parents. I don't know what has been said over there, but it has resulted in me not seeing two of my kids since last June and they live 5 minutes away. I can almost throw a rock from the roof of my house to the school where one of them goes. My oldest child, who's mind is less moldable, I have seen 5 times since June. The other two have been invited to see me several times and have found excuses or parroted stuff back to me that obviously has not come from their brain!

I'm not a dead-beat father. I have dead-beat children thanks to their mother's behaviour, or lack of parenting more like it!!
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