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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-14-2016, 06:10 PM
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Look at it this way, if you were still married and the kids were at home they would be going off to school and their lives eventually and you would have to downsize. Yes you changed your life for your kids and got screwed but thats what happens with kids. Downsize, pay the cs and work on the relationship with your kids. Dont look at this as a money grubbing ex out to get you. Look at it as a lesson for your kids and their development. Does it suck? Sure. Dont sacrifice any relationship with your kids because you resent what has happened or their decisions for whatever reason. Live your life.
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Old 01-14-2016, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Look at it this way, if you were still married and the kids were at home they would be going off to school and their lives eventually and you would have to downsize. Yes you changed your life for your kids and got screwed but thats what happens with kids. Downsize, pay the cs and work on the relationship with your kids. Dont look at this as a money grubbing ex out to get you. Look at it as a lesson for your kids and their development. Does it suck? Sure. Dont sacrifice any relationship with your kids because you resent what has happened or their decisions for whatever reason. Live your life.
But don't downsize too fast.
Kids are versatile and it does not take much to change their mind.
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Old 01-14-2016, 09:54 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Dont look at this as a money grubbing ex out to get you.
Alternatively, we could look at the situation as money grubbing parents and their new partners who don't have custody, cheaping out on the kids. Table cs to custodial.
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Old 01-14-2016, 10:14 PM
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Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
It sucks that your kids are taking the easy route, as it will only backfire on them later in life. Stick with it, show them you still care and are there for them and hopefully they will see the error of their ways.
As our children become adults, I think focusing on what our relationships with them in their adulthood will be and maintaining bonds, is of value. And, as you say, showing them that you care and are there for them to turn to, is huge. The rest of it is just nonsense, in the big picture.
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Old 01-16-2016, 07:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Toutou View Post
This should be so easy, continuing to have a house that is meant for family of five and paying probably about 2,000$ in CS. yes, and asking your partner to spend more money on housing than needed just because your kids will be home, maybe, 4 days a month. Isn't it funny that when the kids go from living mostly at one parent's house to shared custody, payor usually continues to pay more than offset CS, because the person receiving CS is used to receive full amount. Ah the justice system!

sorry I am not really helpful, just ranting!
Makes sense to me. I believe in fairness it should work both ways. If she has set up her entire life around these kids for the past 6 years based on the child support she was getting and we put ourselves in a more expensive financial situation to meet our end of the 50/50 custody arrangement, now that the kids want to live with her 2 weeks more per month, our costs have not gone down even a fraction of what she is asking for to increase now.
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Old 01-16-2016, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted by HappyMomma View Post
You are shit out of luck. Your ex does not need to demonstate a need for more money - it is assumed now that he has the children more than 60% of the time. The law is cut and dry on this one - you don't have the kids 40%, you pay full guideline amounts.

You may want to read this Duffy v Duffy:

In Duffy v. Duffy, Justice B.G. Welsh, of the Supreme Court of Appeal summarized several general principles regarding financial support of children under the Child Support Guidelines as follows:

1. The fundamental obligation of a parent to support his or her children takes precedence over the parent’s own interests and choices.

2. A parent will not be permitted to knowingly avoid or diminish and may not choose to ignore, his or her obligation to support his or her children.

3. A parent is required to act responsibly when making financial decisions that may affect the level of child support available from that parent. (ie: your kids are more important than that house you bought).
Sorry I don't agree because I have seen it personally where a child support obligation has been completely expunged based entirely on the mother's behaviour. The children were still 14 and 16 at the time.

Also, I think you are actually completely wrong. I have a binding contract with set support amounts and custody arrangements. If one party wants to go back now and change terms in the contract, you're darn right they have to prove a "need" to do so! Changing terms of a contract that in effect affects the other party to that contract, cannot be change unilaterally by one party.
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Old 01-16-2016, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by WilsonWilsonWilson View Post
Makes sense to me. I believe in fairness it should work both ways. If she has set up her entire life around these kids for the past 6 years based on the child support she was getting and we put ourselves in a more expensive financial situation to meet our end of the 50/50 custody arrangement, now that the kids want to live with her 2 weeks more per month, our costs have not gone down even a fraction of what she is asking for to increase now.
why would you buy a bigger house if for the past 6 years the place you lived in must of been adequate?
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Old 01-16-2016, 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Look at it this way, if you were still married and the kids were at home they would be going off to school and their lives eventually and you would have to downsize. Yes you changed your life for your kids and got screwed but thats what happens with kids. Downsize, pay the cs and work on the relationship with your kids. Dont look at this as a money grubbing ex out to get you. Look at it as a lesson for your kids and their development. Does it suck? Sure. Dont sacrifice any relationship with your kids because you resent what has happened or their decisions for whatever reason. Live your life.
Yes, but! I was under a binding Separation Agreement turned into a Court Order that required that I do what I did do and I knew beforehand what my costs would, be so that I could budget my money going forward. The "contract" I have with my ex has nothing to do with the covenant I have with my children. Their wants, desires and actions have nothing to do with the contract I have with my ex. You can't just easily change the terms of a contract just because at a later time you feel that some of the terms should change to suit you better. The person you signed a contact with is bond by it just as much as you are!
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Old 01-16-2016, 08:28 PM
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Originally Posted by ele110 View Post
But don't downsize too fast.
Kids are versatile and it does not take much to change their mind.
Oh yes I know that. If they feel so entitled that they can do this to one parent, they will just as easily do it to the other when it suits them better too.

The main thing is that we have changed nothing that would require them to not live with us anymore. Their decision in my opinion (and hopefully the Court's as well) has nothing to do with the binding Separation Agreement contract I have in place now.

Stay tuned!
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Old 01-16-2016, 08:33 PM
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Originally Posted by WilsonWilsonWilson View Post
Oh yes I know that. If they feel so entitled that they can do this to one parent, they will just as easily do it to the other when it suits them better too.

The main thing is that we have changed nothing that would require them to not live with us anymore. Their decision in my opinion (and hopefully the Court's as well) has nothing to do with the binding Separation Agreement contract I have in place now.

Stay tuned!
you changed the living arrangements by selling you home and buying a new house and having your partner move in with you.
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