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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 09-03-2015, 02:20 PM
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Exclamation Seperating PLEASE HELP !!!

Hello everyone!

I have question about my previous separation. Me and my ex were common law and have been living in house for 9 years with two kids. The house was paid by my mother and everything is in her name.

If ex seems to think she is entitled to some of the equity in the house. Can the judge force my mother to sell the house?

After she decided to leave me, I provided her with away out by signing for an apartment as the guarantor for a 1 years. And since she had no money. We agreed that I would paid her 11,000 for her half of the belonging that was in the house, and that I would use the 11,000 to pay her rent. And after the 11,000$ is gone, she would take over the payment for the rent. I also gave her a vehicle that is still under my name and under my insurance.
Now several months later I only have 4000$ left to pay on her Rent ( Kept every receipts). And when I asked her about having everything on paper as to what our mutual agreement, and we would both sign the agreement and each keep a copy to our self's. (we both agreed to have a mutual documentation done but was forgotten).
And when I asked her about it she refused to sign and said she has something coming my way???
what kind of damage can she cause me, since I'm already struggling to pay her rent plus my bills.?

I'm also worried she might try and get full custody of the kids...
Can it backfire if I cancel the car insurance?

Please any advice is appreciated...
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Old 09-03-2015, 02:28 PM
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She will probably try to get full custody.
She has no job, you will pay her spousal support.

The whole 11,000$ whatever, whatever thing is a story you have to convince the judge of not having any evidence of the agreement won't help you and judges aren't bias towards men.

Anything she does without a lawyer signing off on will be thrown out by a judge.

I don't think she is entitled to anything in regards to the home, but others should chime in.

Strategy:
-Remain Calm
-Decide what you want in terms of child access, consider what the legal implications are of your plan.
-Do not let her create unfavourable status quos.

Where are the kids now?

Also, emotionally erase whatever memory you have of her, she is long gone, move on to the next chapter she is easily replaced.

Read some of the stickies here, the information and people on this forum are worth 100 lawyers.
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Old 09-03-2015, 02:38 PM
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Thanks for the reply..
We decided to rotate weeks with the kids. She works full time. And she makes near the same money as me. So am I paying her rent for nothing? My credit and other bills are suffering because I'm trying really hard to pay off this 11,000$... If I stop paying her rent, and start paying my bills should be best?

I don't know what to do? and she said if I cancel her insurance there will hell to pay?? but now I don't trust her on my policy....
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Old 09-03-2015, 03:40 PM
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actually you might be panicking for no reason.

1- if you are making equal or near equal and; have equal time with the children then;
a- you will likely not have to pay her spousal support.
b- the CS will be only offset.

if it goes to the judge you will be credited towards for the amounts you have paid if you have the receipts. I was able to do that when i paid the rent for my ex without any agreement (written or verbal) my ex tried to say that i had not paid the rent but the judge believed me and got a little angry at my ex. i got credited for it. (i had paid child support & rent for ex)

you owe nothing to her from the home, its your mother's home (or yours if it was in your name) and i am assuming majority of the household stuff was brought into the relationship when you took her in.

see what comes your way, if she has half a brain then she wont claim spousal support given the equality of your respective incomes, if she does it should be easy to defeat; if you succeed at that then ask for the rents you have paid so far to be credited towards offset CS (if you earn more than her, if she makes more than you then she owes you money given equal access)

it sounds like there was some debt in the relationship, that should be divided halfway.

Also do consider your guarantor status before you consider stop paying her rent. see if you can have your name pulled off the guarantor, definately take the insurance off the car. thats a massive liability for someone thats out of your life and is likely taking you to court for more.

Last edited by sahibjee; 09-03-2015 at 03:45 PM.
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Old 09-03-2015, 04:28 PM
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Thank you very much for the advice!!

So, should I still try and get her to sign our original agreement?
Or is that a waist of time?

Since the car is still in my name I was thinking if calling the police and get it back? Then she will lose her mind...and probably definitely try to take me to court for something.....but then I can sell the car and pay off the leftover of the rent....

Is that a bad idea....? Me giving her the car was part of the original agreement, so if she wont sign....tuff luck ??
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Old 09-03-2015, 04:38 PM
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i'd try not to involve police, its damaging for the children, but yes get the car back if you can, if there are repairs/ oil changes etc to be done on the car then you can use that excuse to get the car back and get the work done (keep receipts) after which you can decide to sell the car, since its yours...
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Old 09-04-2015, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richleva View Post
Thank you very much for the advice!!

So, should I still try and get her to sign our original agreement?
Or is that a waist of time?

Since the car is still in my name I was thinking if calling the police and get it back? Then she will lose her mind...and probably definitely try to take me to court for something.....
Without addressing the car issue specifically, you have made an important statement in that "she will try to take me to court for something".

If you have this fear, you can rest assured that as soon as the first lawyer gets his/her fingers in this, you will be taken to court. Best advice I can give at this point is to NOT provoke her in any way, shape or form. Bend over backwards to be "reasonable" and document "every" interaction. If at all possible, communicate ONLY by email... and conversations have a way of being twisted and bent out of shape.

Sorry you have to go through this... hang in there...
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Old 09-04-2015, 10:41 AM
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I think it sounds as though you have set a precedent for paying her 1,000.00/month for spousal support. Your mistake was not spending a few dollars and going to lawyers to get agreement drawn up.

Your mother owns the house so it is not in the equation as long as your name isn't anywhere on the title.

I think what you need is a separation agreement. If your ex has alluded that something is coming your way she very well might have retained a lawyer and is going to go for custody, child support and spousal support. Of course she will have to prove entitlement for spousal support.

How long has your ex been working? (before or after your separation?)
Have you paid any child support?
Of course any proof that an agreement between the two of you existed at time of separation would be important.
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