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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-26-2012, 10:29 AM
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Default Separation Date Dispute

Hello,
I am fairly new to separation/divorce proceedings and ask for your advice as to separation date issue. We both agree that we are separating and divorcing but I am not in agreement with what my husband considers separation date. He claims it is February 1, 2010. I think that since we lived together, shared one bank account, I cooked and cleaned, did his laundry, bought groceries for the house, income tax returned were prepared as "married" - separation date should be the date when we close sale of our house which will be June 22, 2012 (three months from now). I must admit that since Feb 2010 we slept in separate rooms and there was no sexual relationship since then. My husband told me two weeks ago that I should expect "something" in the mail from his lawyer regarding separation and divorce. He did not want to tell me details but he said that he claimed separation date as Feb. 2010. Can I simply not agree to this date? I do not have money to hire a lawyer so I have to do this alone. I have 20K debt on my credit cards which accumulated since spring 2011 - I admit I spend 3K for a trip to Cuba where I went with our two sons last summer but the rest of the money I spent was for everyday things, like groceries, furniture, clothing, school supplies for kids, computer equipment which all of us use in the house. My husband does not want to split this debt and I myself am not sure if I should fight to split it. Separation date is significant here (I think) because back in February 2010 I did not have any outstanding debt on my credit cards. Please post your comments as to whether I should fight to split the credit card debt and separation date. (Please note that we are still living in the same house and will do so until June 22, 2012). Thank you very much everyone. MK
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Old 02-26-2012, 10:37 AM
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My advice is simple: There is enough "wiggle room" in the definition of separation that you could (both) go broke fighting it out. You can live under the same roof and be separated - so it'll be an uphill battle.

The only reason I can think of right now (it's early and I haven't had coffee) that you might resist a backdated separation date is financial: More pension, SS, etc., for you. Fair enough, but think *hard* about what it might cost to get you there ... Is it worth spending a dollar to gain 50 cents?

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 02-26-2012, 10:46 AM
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to me once you started sleeping in separate bedrooms and stopped having sex then that was the separation date. Did you do anything together as a couple after that like go to each others family christmas or whatever? Did you still act as a couple?

I did my exs laundry for a bit (my washer and dryer) but then told him to either do it himself or take it to his gfs and get her to do it. I did not cook for him but if i made a roast i offered some to him just like he did with me.

the furniture etc you bought after that date is all yours if he uses the date he wants.

Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 02-26-2012 at 10:49 AM.
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:07 AM
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Your seperation date would be applicable from when you stopped living together and acting as a couple. Essentially, when you stopped sleeping together, seperated your financials, taking meals together, being out socially together and of course, stopped doing each others' laundry etc.

It's my understanding as well, that CRA will not consider you seperated under any circumstances if you're living under the same roof. I could be wrong though.

I think the biggest thing you need to figure out is what's the impact of the two diferent seperation dates. If there is little to no impact, then I would go ahead with it. If there is a significant impact then I would hold firm and provide documentation to show your actual seperation date.
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:09 AM
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How old are you, and how long have you been married?

If you think you have a claim for spousal support, then there are some cutoff dates in the guidelines beyond which spousal could be payable for many years i.e.
- if age + years married > 65
- if years married more than 20

But regardless of this, what your ex is asking for is quite normal.

You'll have to be creative in coming up with the 'market value' of your house in 2010 though - possibly look at current value, then adjust for local price changes over the last 1-2 years, and any signifigant repairs/changes.
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post

It's my understanding as well, that CRA will not consider you seperated under any circumstances if you're living under the same roof. I could be wrong though.

.
I had that issue with them also. They would not accept the december 2010 date even though that was what was in our separation agreement. Only when he left for his vacation with his new gf in july and never slept here again after he got back did cra accept that the separation date was july 28th 2011, the day he left for vacation.
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:48 AM
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My GF's ex's lawyer found a loophole to make it look like she was living with him almost a year longer than she actually was, which screwed her in the end. That's why they get paid the big bucks.
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:55 AM
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A classic example of why it's best NOT to try to fuck the system.
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Old 02-26-2012, 01:27 PM
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You can deal with the 20k debt by breaking it down. For example:

5k furniture (you keep the furniture and the debt)
3k trip w 2 sons (you split 2/3 of this)
2k computer (you keep the computer and the debt)
2k your clothing (you keep the clothing and the debt)
8k household/kids (you split this debt)

This leaves 10k of debt to be split. Which means you are arguing over 5K.

I'd suggest coming up with an equalization plan that covers all items in the house, then see how the debt fits into that.

I have to admit I'm surprised at your decision to accumulate so much debt in one year, given that you've known since the beginning of 2010 that you are separating. What changed your normal pattern of paying it off each month?

Your best bet will be to prove that a lot of this was for shared living expenses AND that it was in line with your usual combined spending level (hopefully it was?). The other portion then is yours alone (along with the items purchased).

Also, if this credit card was normally used for household expenses, and normally paid off from the joint account, then that is another argument in your favour.

Last edited by dinkyface; 02-26-2012 at 01:33 PM.
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Old 02-26-2012, 01:41 PM
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k im confused now. You posted in another thread that you guys were separating and that you had made arrangements to buy him out of the house in april of 2010 so you must have considered yourself separated back then??
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