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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-20-2011, 09:08 PM
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Default Self Rep...Form 35.1 & 8 now what?

Hi again,

So I have finished form 35.1, form 8, form 17 and form 17a. Same day as filing I had my ex served. In Ontario they are now making families attend a manditory MIP information center. My date is in a few weeks. Out first case conference is the end of March. I have asked for sole custody, giving my ex every other weekend and alternating holidays. I have also ask for an order to be made at the case conference giving me reasonable telephone access and every other weekend access to my child.

In my forms I gave my reasons as to why it would be in my daughter's best interest to live with me. These include the fact that my ex is preventing me, my family and her extended family from seeing our child without good reason (or any reason at all in some cases). She also prevented our child from visiting my mother while she was dieing and after death this month.

My other reasons included the child being locked into her room for hours at a time to clean it (including sweep and mop...she is five), toys being locked away almost always, house being filthy, the child accusing my ex's partner of "touching" her and making her lay in bed with him, our child's behavior has changed drastically in a short period of time, they use spanking; with bare hands and metal spatuchla to carry our the punishment,food being used as a form of punishment, my ex's partner will go into our child's CLEAN room and tear apart her closet and make her clean it up, my ex's partner has been caught telling people that he hate's my child because she is blond hair blue eyes and that he is angry that his child's hair color is also turning lighter with age and not staying dark, the fact that my ex is keeping our child from me but every three to six months she will contact me asking for me to take custody of our child because she cannot handle her, my ex has told people that our child is ruining her marriage and corrupting her other children she believe one child is not worth her marriage.

My child is not involved with any extra curricular activities and spends most of her time out of school locked into her bedroom to clean.

My question's are:
1) Do my requests seem reasonable? I do have a parenting plan being put together. This includes extra curricular activities that the child would pick but would not interfere with her mother's time (as she lives two and a half hours away). I would never withhold our daughter from family and will even encourage family time with my ex's family and our child. (Most of the family lives in my city)

2) Is it at the case conference that I request premission to have witnesses and evidence included? If not when or how do I include the proof that I have?

3) After my ex fills our form 10 (answer) do I get a copy of it before court?

4) I know orders aren't usually set at the conference but what are the chances of my temporary orders being made?

5) C.A.S has investigate the accusation against my daughter's step father. They cannot give me information on the investigation however I have learned that they are sending my daughter to a psychologist. (Ex says if nothing changes in three visits she is "shipping her out". Is it fair that I have requested a CPIC of my ex's current partner?

5) Is there anything I should of done that I didn't do?

If there is anything else you think that I should know please feel free to tell me. Thanks so much in advance.
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Old 02-20-2011, 09:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConcernedSTEPparent View Post
Hi again,

So I have finished form 35.1, form 8, form 17 and form 17a. Same day as filing I had my ex served. In Ontario they are now making families attend a manditory MIP information center. My date is in a few weeks. Out first case conference is the end of March. I have asked for sole custody, giving my ex every other weekend and alternating holidays. I have also ask for an order to be made at the case conference giving me reasonable telephone access and every other weekend access to my child.

In my forms I gave my reasons as to why it would be in my daughter's best interest to live with me. These include the fact that my ex is preventing me, my family and her extended family from seeing our child without good reason (or any reason at all in some cases). She also prevented our child from visiting my mother while she was dieing and after death this month.

My other reasons included the child being locked into her room for hours at a time to clean it (including sweep and mop...she is five), toys being locked away almost always, house being filthy, the child accusing my ex's partner of "touching" her and making her lay in bed with him, our child's behavior has changed drastically in a short period of time, they use spanking; with bare hands and metal spatuchla to carry our the punishment,food being used as a form of punishment, my ex's partner will go into our child's CLEAN room and tear apart her closet and make her clean it up, my ex's partner has been caught telling people that he hate's my child because she is blond hair blue eyes and that he is angry that his child's hair color is also turning lighter with age and not staying dark, the fact that my ex is keeping our child from me but every three to six months she will contact me asking for me to take custody of our child because she cannot handle her, my ex has told people that our child is ruining her marriage and corrupting her other children she believe one child is not worth her marriage.

My child is not involved with any extra curricular activities and spends most of her time out of school locked into her bedroom to clean.

My question's are:
1) Do my requests seem reasonable? I do have a parenting plan being put together. This includes extra curricular activities that the child would pick but would not interfere with her mother's time (as she lives two and a half hours away). I would never withhold our daughter from family and will even encourage family time with my ex's family and our child. (Most of the family lives in my city)

2) Is it at the case conference that I request premission to have witnesses and evidence included? If not when or how do I include the proof that I have?

3) After my ex fills our form 10 (answer) do I get a copy of it before court?

4) I know orders aren't usually set at the conference but what are the chances of my temporary orders being made?

5) C.A.S has investigate the accusation against my daughter's step father. They cannot give me information on the investigation however I have learned that they are sending my daughter to a psychologist. (Ex says if nothing changes in three visits she is "shipping her out". Is it fair that I have requested a CPIC of my ex's current partner?

5) Is there anything I should of done that I didn't do?

If there is anything else you think that I should know please feel free to tell me. Thanks so much in advance.
I'm confused, are you the parent or the step-parent? Your last few posts put you as the girlfriend/step-parent and yet here you claim to be the dad/parent. Your posts are very confusing.
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Old 02-20-2011, 10:21 PM
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I am the parent. My wife was trying to do research for me on this site while I was busy with other things regarding the same matter and my mother's untimely death. She explained to me that it took a while after she had made an account to be able to post and that after she had posted she received replies that she did not expect. To avoid the wait time to be able to ask a question and to (hopefully) get a direct answer to my question I decided to post myself. Hope this clears up your confusion.
Do you have any advice in regards to my questions?
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Old 02-21-2011, 09:30 AM
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Welcome CSP: Sole custody is a big step but I think you have everything in order. You can find out from CAS whether the case has been closed however you will not be provided any other information from them unless you request a summary (we did this for court as the party who had been reported on).

You should be served with a copy of the answer, however if you don't get it you can check the continuing record at the court hose and get a copy once it's been filed.

Not sure about witnesses but you can request an assessment by the OCL. They will contact CAS, the school, do interviews with both you and your ex (and all family in the homes) and make an assessment on custody and access.

What is the current custody/access arrangement? Are you working on a parenting plan with Family Services or on your own?
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Old 02-21-2011, 12:47 PM
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Hi Pharah,
There has been no court ordered custody/access arrangement. Between me and my ex we made our own arrangement. After we separated our daughter's primary home was with her mom while she would come to my house for periods of time.
This work okay (sometimes my ex would prevent visits but she would come around) until she had moved to another city and met her current partner. She has withheld our daughter from contact with me and my family for almost 2 years now.

Thanks for the information.
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Old 02-21-2011, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConcernedSTEPparent View Post
Hi again,

So I have finished form 35.1, form 8, form 17 and form 17a. Same day as filing I had my ex served. In Ontario they are now making families attend a manditory MIP information center. My date is in a few weeks. Out first case conference is the end of March. I have asked for sole custody, giving my ex every other weekend and alternating holidays. I have also ask for an order to be made at the case conference giving me reasonable telephone access and every other weekend access to my child.

In my forms I gave my reasons as to why it would be in my daughter's best interest to live with me. These include the fact that my ex is preventing me, my family and her extended family from seeing our child without good reason (or any reason at all in some cases). She also prevented our child from visiting my mother while she was dieing and after death this month.

My other reasons included the child being locked into her room for hours at a time to clean it (including sweep and mop...she is five), toys being locked away almost always, house being filthy, the child accusing my ex's partner of "touching" her and making her lay in bed with him, our child's behavior has changed drastically in a short period of time, they use spanking; with bare hands and metal spatuchla to carry our the punishment,food being used as a form of punishment, my ex's partner will go into our child's CLEAN room and tear apart her closet and make her clean it up, my ex's partner has been caught telling people that he hate's my child because she is blond hair blue eyes and that he is angry that his child's hair color is also turning lighter with age and not staying dark, the fact that my ex is keeping our child from me but every three to six months she will contact me asking for me to take custody of our child because she cannot handle her, my ex has told people that our child is ruining her marriage and corrupting her other children she believe one child is not worth her marriage.

My child is not involved with any extra curricular activities and spends most of her time out of school locked into her bedroom to clean.

My question's are:
1) Do my requests seem reasonable? I do have a parenting plan being put together. This includes extra curricular activities that the child would pick but would not interfere with her mother's time (as she lives two and a half hours away). I would never withhold our daughter from family and will even encourage family time with my ex's family and our child. (Most of the family lives in my city)

2) Is it at the case conference that I request premission to have witnesses and evidence included? If not when or how do I include the proof that I have?

3) After my ex fills our form 10 (answer) do I get a copy of it before court?

4) I know orders aren't usually set at the conference but what are the chances of my temporary orders being made?

5) C.A.S has investigate the accusation against my daughter's step father. They cannot give me information on the investigation however I have learned that they are sending my daughter to a psychologist. (Ex says if nothing changes in three visits she is "shipping her out". Is it fair that I have requested a CPIC of my ex's current partner?

5) Is there anything I should of done that I didn't do?

If there is anything else you think that I should know please feel free to tell me. Thanks so much in advance.
Hi there,

Welcome to the wonderful world of our court system. I don't have the answer to all of your question, but I think that what you have done is reasonable.

Your initial case conference will not have anything to do with evidence or witnesses or such. It is the first opportunity for both sides to present their cases in front of the judge. This judge - who would not be the ruling judge - would indicate how he/she might rule should it be a trial and will give some guidance as to how both sides might be able to resolve this without going to trial. In essence, the judge gives each side a "reality check" of the relative strengths of their positions.

What are the orders that you would be requesting? To have better access? In this case, I think that you definitely need to bring this up with the judge and request that you provided with an order that you be given the opportunity to spend time with your daughter. I would also strongly recommend that if you're getting any resistance from your ex on this, document EVERYTHING. You may need it in the future.

You should be receiving a copy of any documents before the court date. The rules are pretty explicit that they're supposed to serve you, and then file the document and the affidavit of service. However, I've found that my ex's lawyer just seems to ignore these deadlines. What I would recommend is that it don't receive the documents by the dates specified in the court rules, just make sure that you mention it to the judge. Explicity tell the judge that you are at a disatvantage as you haven't had a chance to review the documents before hand. I always make sure that I file by the deadline, but unfortunately, I guess that despite the rules, some people take their sweet time.
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Old 02-21-2011, 04:49 PM
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I have also found that the 'rules' don't always apply in Family court. In my case, our case conference Judge did make the final ruling 'on consent' but that will not be the case if you go to trial.
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