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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2015, 08:03 AM
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The longer you live with this woman who now is unemployed the better chance for her to claim support from you. If you think you are separated now, your wrong as it will be your words against hers. You will loose. You will be cast as abandoning her in her time of need. All your previous efforts are forgotten and you will be accused of lying
You need to set her up, record and video her outburst, go to the police, cry, fear monger, make no ends of what if statements, that will get the ball rolling a bit, mabey they will have to do something. I guess you need a restraining order against her. Can you imagine if you were out the house on one, with one simple move you are out, unable to even contact your children for 30 days. Then she claim,s more bad stuff and you have some supervised access. By the time your at your first CC you have already sighned an order to pay support and the Satus quoe is established.

You have to play this up. If you don,t and she does, your finished. Get her out the house. My ex was mean but not crazy, your kids sound like they are in danger by the sounds of your post. I think your running of time. Even if you pay out $2000 for the restraining order, get a lawyer for the paperwork as that,s all that is. Then she,s out and status quoe is on your side. After that she will have legal aid or whoever. Let them do the paperwork you answer all the forms self rep, show up to court. Demand your recordings respected, throw around a lot what ifs, They will have to error on the side of caution for you. I believe it is that simple. Just not that easy.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2015, 08:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
nobody cares about what she is yelling, and nobody cares about the home daycare's opinion.
As long as you don't have a court order, she has just as much right to stay in that house as you have. (assuming it is a matrimonial property)
no good situation. it can lead to false accusations of domestic violence very easily. I would tell her that there is a working voice recorder ALL the time when I'm in the building.
This is true until you need evidence for a restraining order. Can you Imagine no evidence. Thing is you need an affidavit from the child care worker and she has to sighn it in front of Notary. I think that,s hard to set up. But if the cops or CAS investigate, they do it, how great is that, but you have to play it up man, you have to cry wolf, cry and beg and make a scene forcing authorities to , again with a label, TO ERROR IN THE NAME OF CAUTION, which means to cover your ass.

Easiest thing to do is use a lawyer for the initial paperwork, your recordings, and CAS to interview the day worker.Get the public involved.

A guy I know had this happen to him. Wish I knew the first step his ex took after recordings and a picture. Was it the police , legal aid , who evaluated the evidence? Did a Judge even look at it before sighning. Hmmmmmm. Probably not

Last edited by Franklin; 06-11-2015 at 08:24 AM.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2015, 09:21 AM
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You have to be very careful. If she senses she is starting to lose control she will probably abduct the children and leave the home and you won't know where they went. At this point a judge will almost definitely end up awarding her custody (at least interim), you will be forced to pay for their support, she won't agree to sell or pay for the home, you will go into foreclosure on the home followed eventually by bankruptcy once the legal bills hit the $60,000+ range...

Even this is a pretty good situation. Much worse, she will either provoke you into a physical fight or outright attack you, and then call the police. No physical violence actually needs to happen, either. She can just lie or claim she is afraid of you and you will go to jail and be banned from going to the home even if you didn't do anything.

You're only at 3% crazy now. It's going to get a lot worse.

Move fast, get mediation or motions in court going, record everything, keep witnesses, starting collecting evidence.

Last edited by FightingForFamily; 06-11-2015 at 09:23 AM.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2015, 09:35 AM
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IMO, you need to start cutting off all non-essentials. I would open an new bank account and have your cheques deposited there. Then you can pay the bills as needed and buy food for the house. If the ex has a cell phone, they will have to find a way to pay for it themselves. You cut down the cable/internet etc.

Pay the utilities to keep the house running, as that would make you look bad in court if you don't. But don't pay for stuff that is simply fluff. If the ex asks for money to go grocery shopping you get a grocery store gift card for them.

Read The List The List - Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum

Understand that The List is gearing you up for a worst case scenario. There are also certain things you likely don't have to worry about. But when it comes to the finances and separating yourself from the ex, it provides a good task list of what to do.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2015, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklin View Post
This is true until you need evidence for a restraining order. Can you Imagine no evidence. Thing is you need an affidavit from the child care worker and she has to sighn it in front of Notary. I think that,s hard to set up. But if the cops or CAS investigate, they do it, how great is that, but you have to play it up man, you have to cry wolf, cry and beg and make a scene forcing authorities to , again with a label, TO ERROR IN THE NAME OF CAUTION, which means to cover your ass.

Easiest thing to do is use a lawyer for the initial paperwork, your recordings, and CAS to interview the day worker.Get the public involved.

A guy I know had this happen to him. Wish I knew the first step his ex took after recordings and a picture. Was it the police , legal aid , who evaluated the evidence? Did a Judge even look at it before sighning. Hmmmmmm. Probably not
are you friends with LF32s ex?? Maybe ask him how it feels to have false allegations made against him. Just bad advice.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2015, 05:01 PM
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It doesnt feel good. It tears you apart. Always stick to the truth. It will set you free, as the old saying goes.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2015, 11:49 PM
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I don't have to ask LF. i,ve been there done that got the OCL T-shirt.

This post is about the children. Focus your brain on what's been written iin this thread regarding the mothers behavior. She needs to be removed from the family home. I give a parent some advise to do this. What do you give. Nothing. Get with it or get out of it
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2015, 11:58 PM
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The truth will set you free?

Nice guys finish last is another saying out there. A good offence is the best defence.

You all talk in circles and hope for the best. Good luck, you will need it.
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