On the saddle again - I'm falling though

[CatvsLion]

Well, it's been awhile since I posted but figured I'd fill ya in on the new entertainment from my life.

So my X has for the past month been talking about settling and agreeing to joint custody once again... I gave her the benefit of the doubt a month ago and sat down with her to hear her out. She basically didn't want to change anything in the agreement except sole custody to material joint custody. She also wanted to ream out my girlfriend again. Basically that ended the conversation and weeks went by and she still wanted to talk about joint custody.

So I went again to hear her out and she basically started it off by accusing my girlfriend of teaching our daughter to say 'mommies jealous'! I've never once heard my daughter say this but apperently she's said it 3 times in the last 2 weeks. The last time my X asked her who taught her that she tells me and my daughter said my girlfriends name. What is not clear is if my X said did 'mygirlfriend' say that and my daughter repeated it or how it was said. I find it even possible that my X prompted this as well as she seems obessed with my girlfriend.

So now I have to deal with her threating to file a restraining order or a court order to 'shut my b** of a girlfriend up' as she put it.

How am I suppose to deal with these false allegations which just seem to be getting worse... so far it's been anxiety, my girlfriend running around naked and showing my daughter her breasts (as my daughter said 'mommies boobies') and now this 'mommies jealous' thing!) My god does it ever end!

After the first 20 minutes of arguing weather or not who said what we did talk about the agreement and she did agree to change two things but she's not willing to agree to a global joint custody agreement basically it ended in failure again.

Also, she's been supplying me with diapers and a diaper bag when I pick up my daughter for the past year and a half and now all of a sudden she's refusing to do so. I know(well I think) she's not entitled to but considering she's been doing it since seperation she'd continue to do so.

And the last thing she threatend me with is not giving me time for our daughter's birthday and father's day (which I was going to combine into the same day as their 2 days apart)

[logicalvelocity]

CatvsLion,

It does appear that your ex is somewhat obsessed with your GF.

I would just document the incident and the allegations made. A pattern will develop on these allegations.

If your ex is sincere in a joint custody regime, then there should be agreement drawn up. If not, your only recourse would be to pursue the matter in the courts or to let the situation alone and allow the status quo to develop longer. The longer a situation goes on, the more difficult it is to change.

Your daughter is young, and I suspect your daughter does not even know the meaning of the word jealous. Good luck to your ex in pursuing a restraining order on this regard. Restraining orders are serious business; being such that if a restraining order is violated, Its Jail time and also gives the police the authority to arrest on the spot.

I would document the threat made: in regards to the restraining order.


Question is:

Who did teach this to child? How often does your GF see your child. I suspect it would take something more than a casual visit to learn this.


In regards to diapers well, this also works against your ex. A parent centered on the child interests would supply the items. This is just being vindictive. Buy your own diapers and keep the receipt. Remember this is only be done to push your buttons. don't sweat the small stuff. Be calm cool and collective.

You have a strong case. It was your ex that pushed for a third party involvement in the matter, and the third party has made recommendations; your ex doesn't accept the third parties views and has gone off on another tangent on another issue.

lv

[CatvsLion]

Originally Posted by logicalvelocity

CatvsLion,


Question is:

Who did teach this to child? How often does your GF see your child. I suspect it would take something more than a casual visit to learn this.


In regards to diapers well, this also works against your ex. A parent centered on the child interests would supply the items. This is just being vindictive. Buy your own diapers and keep the receipt. Remember this is only be done to push your buttons. don't sweat the small stuff. Be calm cool and collective.

You have a strong case. It was your ex that pushed for a third party involvement in the matter, and the third party has made recommendations; your ex doesn't accept the third parties views and has gone off on another tangent on another issue.

lv

I'm not sure whom taught this to my daughter or even if anyone 'taught' her it... she picks up words all the time - she's a mocking bird in a sense. People really have to watch what they say sometimes. She could've got it from anyone and just associated with mommy. My daughter calls me by my first name sometimes and now laughs when she says it cuz I correct her. (so if my x made a big deal of it she could just be doing it for the same reason).

I'm not making a big deal of the diapers - I know it's just to 'push my buttons'.

[logicalvelocity]

Catsvlion,

I should mention this in regards to joint custody,

the fact is that at law [1], at the present time two parents, both mother and father are equally entitled to share the responsibilities and the benefits of custody. In other words, at law they in fact have coextensive custody of the child until an agreement or order from the court provides otherwise. The sort of agreement meant is an agreement that is a valid separation agreement under Part IV of the Family Law Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. F-3, as amended. See subsection 18(1).

[1] - Childrens Law Reform Act R.S.O. 1990 c. C12 section 20(1)

20. (1) Except as otherwise provided in this Part, the father and the mother of a child are equally entitled to custody of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (1).

18. (1) In this Part,

“court” means the Ontario Court of Justice, the Family Court or the Superior Court of Justice; (“tribunal”)

“extra-provincial order” means an order, or that part of an order, of an extra-provincial tribunal that grants to a person custody of or access to a child; (“ordonnance extraprovinciale”)

“extra-provincial tribunal” means a court or tribunal outside Ontario that has jurisdiction to grant to a person custody of or access to a child; (“tribunal extraprovincial”)

“separation agreement” means an agreement that is a valid separation agreement under Part IV of the Family Law Act. (“accord de séparation”) R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 18 (1); 1996, c. 25, s. 3 (2); 2001, c. 9, Sched. B, s. 4 (7, 8).

When parents separate:


20(4) Where the parents of a child live separate and apart and the child lives with one of them with the consent, implied consent or acquiescence of the other of them, the right of the other to exercise the entitlement of custody and the incidents of custody, but not the entitlement to access, is suspended until a separation agreement or order otherwise provides. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (4).

the right of the other to exercise the entitlement of custody and the incidents of custody, is suspended, NOT ENDED.

the entitlement to the child's access continues, which includes the right to visit and be visited by the child and the same right as a parent to make inquires and to be given information as to the health, education and welfare of the child.

as listed in the act;

20(5) The entitlement to access to a child includes the right to visit with and be visited by the child and the same right as a parent to make inquiries and to be given information as to the health, education and welfare of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (5).

http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/DBLaws/S...c12_e.htm#BK21

lv

[Grace]

CvsL

Obviously your ex is letting her feeling for your girlfriend get the best of her. Sounds like she is having trouble moving on. You can't get a restraining order to keep somebody quiet unless there is a threat of harm. LV is right restraining orders are serious business and meant to protect individuals from harm. There is no harm done here.

I would suggest for the time being to only communicate with your ex through e-mails. That way everything is documented.