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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #51 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2017, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
If referring to single mom's as cuntjobs is too vulgar for this forums then so is referring to single dad's as dickheads.

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She didn't refer to him as a dickhead, but that his request was. Huge difference. My child says purposely silly things all the time like, 'I love to fart!' and then I say, 'You're such a farthead!'. This does not, unequivocally, make my child a fart, kwim?
  #52 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2017, 06:01 PM
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I believe I was the one who referred to him as a dickhead and he has been behaving as one. Demanding to have his kids less than 50% of the time on his schedule, not wanting to participate in important aspects of their lives and bitching about not being involved, demanding to not be a part of supporting their kids post secondary education and then holding agreement finalization hostage over a clause for a potential wedding are all dickhead moves. I also refer to my partners ex by various names because she pulls bonehead moves all the time.

Some posters need to understand that just because they have a difficult ex doesnt mean others think you are a bad person. Trinton for example you are a hands on parent who is dealing with a horrible ex wife. I cant see you making dickhead moves like anges ex is. There is a difference between reasonable and unreasonable. Many of us see that.
  #53 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2017, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by ensorcelled View Post
You know this is a divorce site, right?


Yes 'divorce', defined as the legal dissolution of a marriage contract. Not a drama website where the scorned come to belly ache about what they think they're entitled to.


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  #54 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2017, 11:07 PM
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Originally Posted by len14 View Post
Yes 'divorce', defined as the legal dissolution of a marriage contract. Not a drama website where the scorned come to belly ache about what they think they're entitled to.


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Divorce by its very nature usually results in scorned parties. Most people here post about their exes in a not so flattering way. If you consider some people dramatic, I wonder why you'd comment on those posts and why you wouldn't rather stick to the black and white, legal info kinds of posts. Also, I know for me anyway, this forum can be a place to discuss a stressful situation that I can't always bring up with my current husband, because it's not exactly healthy to talk about the ex with the hubby. Drama is created when people disagree and challenge each other, which inevitably occurs here. Just because some posters are polarizing, it doesn't make them drama queens (and kings).


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  #55 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2017, 11:39 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I believe I was the one who referred to him as a dickhead and he has been behaving as one. Demanding to have his kids less than 50% of the time on his schedule, not wanting to participate in important aspects of their lives and bitching about not being involved, demanding to not be a part of supporting their kids post secondary education and then holding agreement finalization hostage over a clause for a potential wedding are all dickhead moves. I also refer to my partners ex by various names because she pulls bonehead moves all the time.

Some posters need to understand that just because they have a difficult ex doesnt mean others think you are a bad person. Trinton for example you are a hands on parent who is dealing with a horrible ex wife. I cant see you making dickhead moves like anges ex is. There is a difference between reasonable and unreasonable. Many of us see that.
I don't think he is a dickhead or acting like a dick head at all. just wants to be able to plan and enjoy his wedding without the who he presumably believes to be a gatekeeping cuntjob sticking her nose in it. You took a peice of gum from my gumpack now you have to give me a piece back. You want a cigarette from my pack? you have to sign a contract to give me one back. It's a one time wedding for a non custodial parent likely under 20% access. Give it a break and stop hugging all the time.

Is makeup time for a week for his wedding really that big of a deal breaker to You? All that effort and time to settle the case to waste because you want your one piece of gum back.

Last edited by trinton; 10-10-2017 at 11:48 PM.
  #56 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2017, 11:54 PM
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Someone else posted that at least your ex is focusing on any potential conflict that may arise, instead of throwing it at you last minute. There's nothing wrong with this type of planning and communication. I'm still trying to figure out how asking for access on the week of his marriage is a dick thing to do. What am I missing?

I have a feeling that his lawyer sees what I (and others) here do. He's predicting that you will be difficult, high conflict and try to make him plan his wedding around your vacations or whatever is going on in your life at that time.

What I've learned thus far is that dates are just dates. I didn't have D6 this weekend for Thanksgiving .. I'm having it next weekend with the whole fam instead. No problem. Sometimes my ex gets more and sometimes I do.

What Tayken, Arabian and many others pointed out in the very beginning is so true ... parenting time, vacation time, etc all seems to equal out in the end. The faster I realized this, the better my quality of life became. And when your quality of life improves, your kids benefit. If you read carefully, it's sound advice .. from somebody who's been through it (and will be the rest of my life).

So what's your plan? Are you going to send him a letter outlining the dates that you permit him to get married with his children present?

I read a lot about controlling behavior on your threads and I'm learning more and more about how your cognitive faculties operate with each post you write. I truly hope that the children get to experience this very special time with him without all of the unnecessary drama that seems to be stirring up.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 10-11-2017 at 12:02 AM.
  #57 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2017, 01:12 AM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post

What Tayken, Arabian and many others pointed out in the very beginning is so true ... parenting time, vacation time, etc all seems to equal out in the end. The faster I realized this, the better my quality of life became. And when your quality of life improves, your kids benefit. If you read carefully, it's sound advice .. from somebody who's been through it (and will be the rest of my life).
That's not necessarily true for the so called dick head here. How can he possibly sustain a quality relationship with hid kids without sufficient quantity of time? The whole constitution has to be re-written when he wants his kids for his wedding for crying out loud.

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So what's your plan? Are you going to send him a letter outlining the dates that you permit him to get married with his children present?
And several pages of terms and conditions including that she gets final say in his new partners wedding dress because she has sole custody, but she will inform him of the decision and provide him with the receipt when a payment is due.


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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I read a lot about controlling behavior on your threads and I'm learning more and more about how your cognitive faculties operate with each post you write. I truly hope that the children get to experience this very special time with him without all of the unnecessary drama that seems to be stirring up.
This whole thread is about her control of his rights. I sure hope the best for the kids caught in this bitter custody dispute as well. Ange will do whatever in her power to keep dad from getting that extra 5% that would put him at 40% at any given year. It's a number game.

Last edited by trinton; 10-11-2017 at 01:19 AM.
  #58 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2017, 08:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
That's not necessarily true for the so called dick head here. How can he possibly sustain a quality relationship with hid kids without sufficient quantity of time? The whole constitution has to be re-written when he wants his kids for his wedding for crying out loud.







And several pages of terms and conditions including that she gets final say in his new partners wedding dress because she has sole custody, but she will inform him of the decision and provide him with the receipt when a payment is due.









This whole thread is about her control of his rights. I sure hope the best for the kids caught in this bitter custody dispute as well. Ange will do whatever in her power to keep dad from getting that extra 5% that would put him at 40% at any given year. It's a number game.


Enter Exhibit A for the scorned and drama seeking. ^^^


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  #59 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2017, 09:49 AM
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Oh jesus. Would some of you go back and read some of the things her ex has done and asked for. Remember this is a man who holds their settlement hostage every time they get close to settling and HE WAS THE ONE who started this process.

In my opinion, if you are going to start this long and expensive process you come to the table with all your demands up front. As in "I want 50/50, I want to pay little child support, I want equal decision making power, I want x number of weeks vacation, I want the freedom to make the decision on my vacation by March 15, I want to not pay university costs" etc. My partners lawyer actually told him to write a list of everything he wants and what he is willing to settle for so he can go in and negotiate ONCE. Every time they get to the end the ex comes back saying he wants something more and he wont sign unless she gives it to him. Added to that his requests are mot even reasonable! He has demonstrated he only cares about himself.

Honestly! Tell me this LF32, trinton et al, if you were negotiating for 50/50 with your ex, would you have held up the process for ridiculous requests like making sure your week of vacation had the words "for my wedding"? She said she will give him the time with make up time. She wanted to know whether or not it was normal to HOLD UP THE PROCESS for ongoing requests.

If anyone wants to continue the drama and drawn out process its her ex.
  #60 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2017, 09:58 AM
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To me, this just follows her ex's pattern of only wanting the kids when he has time off work, instead of doing what normal parents do and parenting/working simultaneously.

He wants a clause that lets him have the kids for extra time on the one occasion he's sure to be booking time off work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Someone else posted that at least your ex is focusing on any potential conflict that may arise, instead of throwing it at you last minute. There's nothing wrong with this type of planning and communication. I'm still trying to figure out how asking for access on the week of his marriage is a dick thing to do. What am I missing?
I think what's missing is her assumption (presumably evidenced-based on past conflict) that her ex will deliberately choose a wedding date that interferes with her access schedule and/or plans for the children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
This whole thread is about her control of his rights. I sure hope the best for the kids caught in this bitter custody dispute as well. Ange will do whatever in her power to keep dad from getting that extra 5% that would put him at 40% at any given year. It's a number game.
I always interpreted her threads as being about HIS control of HER rights, and how she can best avoid that.

Ange, what about a clause that goes something like this:

One extra week of access to dad for his destination wedding with six months notice.

That way if he gets married in town, he doesn't get the kids for a whole extra week. If he books well in advance (as weddings usually are), he gets a whole week. If he books spur of the moment, he better make sure it's on his own time.

Honestly though, most agreements have a vague clause that just goes like "additional access as agreed upon by the parents" and if he feels that isn't sufficient, that you are likely to not agree even for his own wedding and he needs a more specific clause, you may want to look at why.
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