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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
^^^^YES!!!

If you can find me a daycare that will allow you to pick and choose the days you pay for then I'll sign up tomorrow. Even a teacher who gets all holidays off with kids still has to pay throughout these times to "hold the spot". If it was necessary when we were together it is necessary still now.


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Does her school offer before and after school care? There are daycare at gyms and YMCA as well. Tons of options. If I found care that allowed you to only pay for what you use, and you don't have to be there 5 days a week and don't have to pay for holidays, or in other words getting ripped of by the daycare and just forcing the support payer to pay, would you then agree to 50/50 ? Or is be still an abusive unfit dad that can't have more than precisely 35 % access? How did you come up with that number anyway?

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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 06:31 PM
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Trinton, there is a brand new post on 50-50 in the political forum, please feel free to express your political leanings in that forum on that topic.

This post is about ROFR, and, has been pointed out by more seasoned posters (with case law and evaluations, no less), it doesn't work well. Any other thoughts on the original question re: ROFR or researched disagreements with the seasoned posters, or should I move all future posts from you on this thread to the political forum for you?

Last edited by mcdreamy; 01-09-2017 at 06:34 PM.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by mcdreamy View Post
Trinton, there is a brand new post on 50-50 in the political forum, please feel free to express your political leanings in that forum on that topic.

This post is about ROFR, and, has been pointed out by more seasoned posters (with case law and evaluations, no less), it doesn't work well. Any other thoughts on the original question re: ROFR or researched disagreements with the seasoned posters, or should I move all future posts from you on this thread to the political forum for you?
I realize and I'm aware of that.

However, There was an earlier post by the seasoned posters that the father just wants roft for 50-50 and offset child support.

I think all threads regardless of the issue, as long as it relates to access, will have some correlation to 50-50 access or the 40% access threshold for shared custody to be precise.

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Last edited by trinton; 01-09-2017 at 06:43 PM.
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Old 01-09-2017, 06:44 PM
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Good. I'll take that as your consent.
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Old 01-09-2017, 06:44 PM
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Give me a break. No one uses daycare "to feed their own selfish needs". I used daycare (and after-school care) because I need to be at work in order to earn money to pay my mortgage. And there are NOT tons of options for high-quality care. You clearly haven't had to think seriously about caring for a child, whether at home (anyone who thinks getting kids out the door is a simple matter of "not being lazy" needs a reality check) or out of the home (sure, just take them to the gym when you need someone to look after them ...). If you wish, you can put your child in care for two or three days a week, but you will pay for all five days because the child care centre can't bring in another child on the days that your kid doesn't attend.

This board is full of parents who have grappled with the realities of caring for children while a single parent. You are obviously not one of them.
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Old 01-09-2017, 07:06 PM
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Good. I'll take that as your consent.
Not sure why you moved my latest post. It had nothing to do with 50-50. It was about daycare....
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 07:14 PM
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This post is about ROFR, and, has been pointed out by more seasoned posters (with case law and evaluations, no less), it doesn't work well. Any other thoughts on the original question re: ROFR or researched disagreements with the seasoned posters, or should I move all future posts from you on this thread to the political forum for you?

Would you like to start another thread re daycare?
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 09:19 PM
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Yea ... not the first time she mucks up my threads with unrelated posts. Quite entertaining actually
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Old 01-09-2017, 11:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Its simple. You get up early and have everything ready before the kid gets up. It's called not being lazy and punishing the other parent for your own laziness. Get your lazy ass out of bed half an hour earlier. Ask the other parent to confirm their schedule one or two weeks before.

We may not have the greatest child care program in Canada - nor do we have the greatest family legal system - but that is no excuse to use daycare to feed your own selfish needs and to use daycare to control and sanction the other parents time with their child.

There are plenty of daycare providers where you only put your child for 2-3 days a week. Not everyone needs day care 5 days a week. There are other care providers as opposed to subsidiary. Keep in mind these subsidiary daycare things are designed to make money and always cause problems for separating parents and children in Canada.

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1 - EDP at school, although you can pick and choose the number of days needed, requires you to submit your schedule a month in advance.

2 - you pay for the days you chose whether the kids show up or not.

3 - the kids need a fairly consistent routine.

4- ROFR rarely refers to day to day care, especially on the other parent's day. It is typically reserved for longer or extended periods of time ie: overnights, weekends or longer where the custodial parent is unavailable to care for the child. First offer goes to the other parent if they are available.

I don't disagree with ROFR, in general, however do think it's a great opportunity for some overnights or weekends with extended family to foster those relationships as well. If the custodial parent is in a position of having to find a friend or hire someone to stay with the child, first choice should go to the other parent.

Although entirely unenforceable, it is not a bad thing to define the expectations and facilitating extended family relationships.
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Old 01-09-2017, 11:26 PM
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I've had relatively good experiences with RoFR and my ex, but we're not what you'd call high conflict. Anybody who needs court to sort things out should probably skip that clause though.

Now if only I could train my ex to ask me in advance if I can take the kids on his time, instead of assuming I will and telling me it's happening with only a couple of days notice.

Also, a thing I've done regularly since we separated that he has almost always taken the kids for is ending after several years, and I just don't think I'm going to get that time back. It has simply become 'his' time.
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