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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 12-03-2017, 09:56 AM
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I have spent hours searching CanLii and haven’t been able to find a case where the dad is moving away from the mom/kids. I feel as though my situation would need to be considered differently then if I was moving away with the kids or if he was trying to take the kids with him. This is also not a military case so that cannot be applied either.
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Old 12-03-2017, 11:13 AM
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You will probably find something eventually although it's probably not commonplace to read about someone who is essentially shooting themselves in the foot by voluntarily relocating far away from their children and has unrealistic access demands. I can't see a court ruling that you pay for his transportation costs to exercise access.
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Old 12-03-2017, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah2017 View Post
Let's just say my daughter is counting down the days until he is gone so she can increase how often she does her extracurricular activity because he was preventing her from exploring it to the full extent.
This is a tough one, because now your daughter will have to travel to see her Dad and stay for longer periods of time which could impede on her activity.

Let assume she is in Dance, does the activity break for the school holidays? I think the 4 day weekends are too much for young ones to travel that far, but Christmas, March Break and 1/2 the summer might work.

Divorce/separation is so hard on children, Its heartbreaking to think she is happy about this. But sometimes young kids process this in different ways.
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Old 12-03-2017, 02:39 PM
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Lets be real here. Your ex is choosing to move away from his kids. Its not for a higher paying job, family or other issues. He is moving. In most cases like this its the custodial parent looking to move and providing a discount on travel and unlimited access to get the move accepted. For parents who choose to move away from their kids they are at the mercy of the kids schedules and travel costs.

His request is unreasonable. He doesnt get every holiday. You are their parent too and perhaps you want to celebrate thanksgiving and easter with them? You counter offer every other year with a mix. For instance, he gets easter and the second week of the christmas break on the even years and thanksgiving and the first half every odd year. March break you split. He pays for all costs to see them including travel to where he is. They can fly as unaccompanied minors to say a major connection with him meeting them there and traveling the rest of the way with them.
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Old 12-03-2017, 02:40 PM
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HE is the one choosing to move away. You can't possibly have any obligation to take on any portion of travel costs for his access due to his choice, nor to give up your fair share of holidays with the children. Those are the sorts of concessions a parent makes when hoping to move WITH the kids and trying to convince the other parent to permit it. That is not your situation here.

I would suggest half of summer and half of Christmas, and all of March Breaks. Other access when he is able to spend it locally with the children, of up to half the long weekend holidays. Be willing to be open to other long weekends if he can show it is a direct flight of under four hours travel time or something.

What is the issue with joint custody? Distance is not a factor for discussing major decisions. They can be done by email. If there are other reasons for sole custody, present them, but don't make them related to distance.
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Old 12-03-2017, 04:59 PM
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Custody is a separate issue, I agree. I will present it separately.

As for travelling, I am unsure about opening it to ‘whenever he is able to spend it locally with the children’ as he could show up every single weekend (he is the master of loopholes).
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Old 12-03-2017, 06:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah2017 View Post
Custody is a separate issue, I agree. I will present it separately.

As for travelling, I am unsure about opening it to ‘whenever he is able to spend it locally with the children’ as he could show up every single weekend (he is the master of loopholes).
I seriously doubt you have to worry about that. The cost and the beating his body would take every weekend with the travelling would deter him from doing that. What you could do is say every other weekend if he is in the area he can spend it with the kids just to give yourself some piece of mind or something along that line.
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Old 12-03-2017, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
I seriously doubt you have to worry about that. The cost and the beating his body would take every weekend with the travelling would deter him from doing that. What you could do is say every other weekend if he is in the area he can spend it with the kids just to give yourself some piece of mind or something along that line.
She would need to have clauses that specify details. Additional access for long weekends locally, if notified a month in advance. That sort of thing. That prevents her from having her own plans held hostage because she never knows if he's coming from one weekend to the next.
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Old 12-03-2017, 08:34 PM
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Great ideas everyone, thank you. So what I am hearing is that I would be justified to say that four day weekends are not long enough for the children’s lengthy travel to visit him but if he wants to come here to visit them then he can do that provided he gives me a months notice. That seems fair. But I think I would want to have some of those holidays to celebrate with my family as well. I don’t thunk it’s fair that he could get every thanksgiving for example (if he traveled here each year). We could alternate...
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