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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-06-2017, 09:17 PM
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I understand your frustration and know what it is like to have someone take you to court continuously. You are only on your first court action (hopefully you won't have too many in the future).

I would recommend that you focus on you and your ex. What your ex's family thinks or what your g/f goes through is irrelevant. Focus on your own situation... your child and the mother and leave others out of your issues. I'd retain a decent lawyer and look for one who isn't going to tell you just what you want to hear. I suspect you would be best-served by a lawyer who has good "client control." You should be preparing formal offer to settle.

You have to accept that the mother of your child isn't going away and you will have to deal with this person for many decades. Keep family histrionics out of everything and don't be a right-fighter.

oh.... and I forgot to mention: If you want to succeed in equal parenting you will have to PROVE that you can solve problems and come to solutions with your ex in an amicable manner. Two parents who can't agree on anything and who fight dirty, disrespect each other are not good candidates for shared custody.

Last edited by arabian; 11-06-2017 at 09:21 PM.
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Old 11-06-2017, 09:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I understand your frustration and know what it is like to have someone take you to court continuously. You are only on your first court action (hopefully you won't have too many in the future).

I would recommend that you focus on you and your ex. What your ex's family thinks or what your g/f goes through is irrelevant. Focus on your own situation... your child and the mother and leave others out of your issues. I'd retain a decent lawyer and look for one who isn't going to tell you just what you want to hear. I suspect you would be best-served by a lawyer who has good "client control." You should be preparing formal offer to settle.

You have to accept that the mother of your child isn't going away and you will have to deal with this person for many decades. Keep family histrionics out of everything and don't be a right-fighter.

oh.... and I forgot to mention: If you want to succeed in equal parenting you will have to PROVE that you can solve problems and come to solutions with your ex in an amicable manner. Two parents who can't agree on anything and who fight dirty, disrespect each other are not good candidates for shared custody.
Yes i know my parents are divorced and still involved in each others lives via my brother and I. I just wish my ex would see this.. Again i hate to sound one sided, but all of this is evident and would have done anything to avoid bringing the government into my life.. luckily:

[76] In analyzing the ability of the parties to communicate, the court must delve below the surface and consider the source of the conflict. The Ontario Court of Appeal has clearly stated that one parent cannot create conflict and problems with the other parent by unreasonable conduct, impeding access, marginalizing the other parent, or by any other means and then claim sole custody on the basis of lack of cooperation and communication.[27]

As far as the extended family, just giving you the background of the mindset. My ex is horrible at communication and negotiation.. which is why I would never have chosen her as a wife or mother. I think communication is the most important key to a relationship. She's ignored all attempts to settle and mediate.
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