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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 11-04-2017, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
one thing I have learned on this site, when its a high conflict situation its best to have everything in black and white on paper. Its best to cover all bases and leave no room for things to be twisted or misinterpreted.

I feel for you, I have two friends who got hit the same way. With both of them I reamed them out about not taking precautions themselves. Yes there are women like that out there, but just remember that not all women are like that. Some of us want a man to be with us because they want to be, not because they feel forced to.
Agreed.. at the end of the day, I chose to date her.. So making better decisions now.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 11-04-2017, 06:32 PM
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I am heartened that you stepped up to the plate with regards to the child.

How long did you "date" the mother? This is information that will invariably be brought up by your ex at some point.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 11-04-2017, 11:17 PM
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I am heartened that you stepped up to the plate with regards to the child.

How long did you "date" the mother? This is information that will invariably be brought up by your ex at some point.
Thank you. I was dating her for a few months but other woman as well openly.. in fact another woman flew out from Sweden I was into and it was shortly after she left that the mother got pregnant.. OF course it was my choice. From day one we both agreed we were focused on our careers and did not want children. Then after she got pregnant I moved in for a few months to try and make it work. Of course it didnt.. but now i have to fight to be in my daughters life.. and I think its important to note that when someone fights to be a part of a childs life.. it should not be discouraged..

There are unintended consequences to things like this. Father’s should be encouraged for being part of their children’s lives, not discouraged. As an anecdotal example, the Applicant Mother’s brother fought in court after his wife committed suicide for access/custody of their children with the grandmother. The result is the brother metaphorically said “screw it, this is too much trouble” and turned his back on his entire family, including his children and married a woman with six kids. His 14 year old daughter no longer had him in her life and she committed suicide last your. Children need father’s and society will suffer if courts are tempted to hinder men fighting to be equal parents.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 12:17 AM
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Quote:
I send her this every week with no reply:

I suggest moving forward that:


The ideas I am proposing are completely reasonable and in the best interest of.........
Sending this list of items ex should do, every week is almost sure to guarantee you a non favorable reply. You would be better to keep it to facts and keep your opinion out of it, especially f and g. Here you are insinuating that she is never reasonable and an ineffective parent who needs parenting classes. That is highly unlikely to get you cooperation, even if it is true.

Keep it short and simple, and leave your opinion and judgement out of it. For example:
a) we use ourfamilywizard.com or similar app (there are free ones such as "2 houses") for easier communication
b) exchange parenting plans
c) engage in a shared parenting 50/50 week-about arrangement (week on, week off)
d) that we come to agreement on holidays including summer holidays for both parties as well as how to split PA days and school trips.
e) work to come to a final agreement on the above
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 01:46 AM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
You are equally to blame in bringing a child into this world. There is no such thing as someone "getting pregnant on purpose" - you obviously did not take precautions.
The father's can't be equally to blame in bringing a child into this world when the father has NO RIGHT into any say about abortion or morning after pills. If mom wants to keep - mom will keep - doesn't matter what dad wants or says.

Yes, actually, there is such think as someone getting pregnant on purpose.

What if condom broke? Would you still make the same argument that dad took no precautions? Or would he not be one to blame at that point ?
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 01:13 AM
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The father's can't be equally to blame in bringing a child into this world when the father has NO RIGHT into any say about abortion or morning after pills. If mom wants to keep - mom will keep - doesn't matter what dad wants or says.

Yes, actually, there is such think as someone getting pregnant on purpose.

What if condom broke? Would you still make the same argument that dad took no precautions? Or would he not be one to blame at that point ?
I know you want so desperately to "blame" someone for a pregnancy Trinton (the evil woman). Something that you might want to read up on before your daughter reaches puberty is that when two adults have sex there is a risk of pregnancy.... both consenting adults participated and are therefore equally responsible for the outcome.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 01:31 AM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I know you want so desperately to "blame" someone for a pregnancy Trinton (the evil woman). Something that you might want to read up on before your daughter reaches puberty is that when two adults have sex there is a risk of pregnancy.... both consenting adults participated and are therefore equally responsible for the outcome.
Buh buh but just earlier you said dad was equally responsible because he didn't use a condom:

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
You are equally to blame in bringing a child into this world. There is no such thing as someone "getting pregnant on purpose" - you obviously did not take precautions.
I'm clearly the one who was trying to place blame.

What's even more fascinating about your post is that you clearly missed that I was simply correcting you that women (not all) can and do get pregnant on purpose. Women aren't always innocent. I know that's not how you like to see things and like to think women always are and that women shelter homes are pure.

If you like to state that dad has blame if they didn't use a condom, then if they used a condom and it broke, then mom could take precaution and get morning after pills - could they not ? What if they don't ? Dad can't take the morning after pill for them can they ?

Was just stating that women can do many things to prevent pregnancy and birth through due course. Men can't get the abortion now, can they ? You may want to read into abortion.

I don't need lectures from you on what to read and what not to read and what to teach our kid. I get enough of that from my ex. The school does talk to children about sex, precautions and abortion, you know, and I know how to parent. Thank you very much tips.

Last edited by trinton; 11-05-2017 at 01:55 AM.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 03:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denbigh View Post
Sending this list of items ex should do, every week is almost sure to guarantee you a non favorable reply. You would be better to keep it to facts and keep your opinion out of it, especially f and g. Here you are insinuating that she is never reasonable and an ineffective parent who needs parenting classes. That is highly unlikely to get you cooperation, even if it is true.

Keep it short and simple, and leave your opinion and judgement out of it. For example:
a) we use ourfamilywizard.com or similar app (there are free ones such as "2 houses") for easier communication
b) exchange parenting plans
c) engage in a shared parenting 50/50 week-about arrangement (week on, week off)
d) that we come to agreement on holidays including summer holidays for both parties as well as how to split PA days and school trips.
e) work to come to a final agreement on the above

I appreciate the feedback!
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 06:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Buh buh but just earlier you said dad was equally responsible because he didn't use a condom:



I'm clearly the one who was trying to place blame.

What's even more fascinating about your post is that you clearly missed that I was simply correcting you that women (not all) can and do get pregnant on purpose. Women aren't always innocent. I know that's not how you like to see things and like to think women always are and that women shelter homes are pure.

If you like to state that dad has blame if they didn't use a condom, then if they used a condom and it broke, then mom could take precaution and get morning after pills - could they not ? What if they don't ? Dad can't take the morning after pill for them can they ?

Was just stating that women can do many things to prevent pregnancy and birth through due course. Men can't get the abortion now, can they ? You may want to read into abortion.

I don't need lectures from you on what to read and what not to read and what to teach our kid. I get enough of that from my ex. The school does talk to children about sex, precautions and abortion, you know, and I know how to parent. Thank you very much tips.
Men can say no to intercourse. That is their option. They can wait until they know the women well enough, actually want a relationship with them before having sex. They also have the choice of a vasectomy if they never want kids. If they just want to jump into bed with any willing woman they they are taking the risk of fathering a child let alone the risk of an STD.

this is getting off topic. I think the OP question has been answered.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 09:01 AM
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ummm Trinton - did I mention shelters anywhere in my post on this thread? No.

Abortion as "prevention" to pregnancy? LOL That's not how things work Trinton - abortions are for discarding a fetus (after pregnancy has occurred).
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