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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 08:14 AM
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Would you accept the offer you are making? Dad get sole and you take the offer of time? Why not, this will give time for child an father to bond for dad to step up, Seem like father is fighting to do just that.

It is you that created the situation.

It was your choice to date a guy form the US and that was really not child centered because now you are asking child to give up everything they have know because you made a choice to date a guy from the US.

It does not matter how well off the US guy is or how good of a role model, get this he is not the child father.

Word of advice from a child who had this done to her and her siblings the results= We no longer speaking with our mother! She has no contact with her grand-kids because she put herself before her children.

You are correct kids do grow up and find out the truth and it may not be the truth that you want them to see.

Last edited by good_mom; 11-08-2016 at 08:16 AM. Reason: error
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 08:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana K View Post
In summer he has two weeks but increasing to 3 weeks in two years.
Is he on a graduated access schedule just for holidays? If he's on a graduated schedule for holidays I'm sure he is for regular time as well right?

He's been fighting relentlessly for 3 years to be in the child's life.

You say:

- "you deserved sole custody".."you took sole custody"

- "You're teaching him a lesson"

- "He would have got more from you if he did what you wanted him to"

I find the way you phrase things troubling and you're going to get annihilated in court. You're already starting threads to figure out how to cancel motions which means yo're not confident in your own case. Sounds like dad is.

I'd refrain from calculating hours so that you can relocate to the U.S with your new boyfriend and start thinking about your child first.

Also, answer Goodmom's question:

Quote:
Would you accept the offer you are making? Dad get sole and you take the offer of time? Why not, this will give time for child an father to bond for dad to step up, Seem like father is fighting to do just that.

It is you that created the situation.
Dad wants to step up. He's fought for 3 years to be in kids life. He has money, flexibility and a family life (including a girlfriend whom the child feels comfortable calling mom already).

You say he'll make your life hell? It's called "parallel parenting".

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-08-2016 at 08:38 AM.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I find the way you phrase things troubling and you're going to get annihilated in court.
Nah, she is a custodial mother. It is almost impossible for her to lose, no matter what she says. She is not totally unreasonable either, she understood the concept of extracurricular vs extraordinary. She is moving in with a wealthy a stable guy. Her plans are not ridiculous.

In addition, Tatyana is actually correct in her phrasing, they are her kids. The father lost the kids years ago, and no amount of posturing now is ever going to get them back. Within the year, Tatyana will be living in the states with replacement Dad, and she will probably be happy. The kids will be happy too. Dad might not be happy, but he can always create some new kids and hopefully not abandon them this time around.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 01:12 PM
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guys, some of you give very strange comments. Maybe I know nothing about laws and maybe this is not my first language BUT I ALSO FIGHTED for sole custody for 3 years and believe me, it costs peanuts to father when it comes to legal fees because he is very rich (he always goes to court with a smile while other people are crying as they are selling their houses to fight over their children) and it cost me a fortune and many debts to win sole custody, I am not talking about health of my parents and other people affected by this process. I am the one who did a lot of things on my own until father came into child’s life and said hello, my two year old son, I kind of decided to be in your life.



So, of course, no one will take custody from me. Judge has to be crazy to do it. And yes, I wouldn’t move if my child can’t go. What I would do in that situation: I would have second child , get married, live here for next 10 years like that and meet my husband on the weekends and maybe one day my family will re-unite.



There will be many other people though who will be asking question and asking why so many people suffered and why court did not let your son move.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Nah, she is a custodial mother. It is almost impossible for her to lose, no matter what she says. She is not totally unreasonable either, she understood the concept of extracurricular vs extraordinary. She is moving in with a wealthy a stable guy. Her plans are not ridiculous.

In addition, Tatyana is actually correct in her phrasing, they are her kids. The father lost the kids years ago, and no amount of posturing now is ever going to get them back. Within the year, Tatyana will be living in the states with replacement Dad, and she will probably be happy. The kids will be happy too. Dad might not be happy, but he can always create some new kids and hopefully not abandon them this time around.
If you're right it's truly a sad world.

Well, let's look at the facts:

a)She's not confident in her own case and has self-entitlement issues.

-Wants to avoid cross motions and trials (must know dad has a case)

b) Doesn't understand that kid has roots in current community
- sports
- school
- friends
- grandparents
- stable family life with dad (and step siblings?)

c) Child is Thriving in current situation

d)Current order with gradating access to dad (who's been fighting for 3 yrs)

- Current order requires a significant Material Change Of Circumstance to allow for a relocation.

Quote:
Nah, she is a custodial mother. It is almost impossible for her to lose, no matter what she says.
Just because you're the custodial mom does not ensure victory, as I'm sure you've seen time and time again on these forums and evolving case law.

The judge will examine the current order (that she wants to change) and the roots the child currently has here, where he is thriving.

The poster is cognizant of this. Hence her hesitation for court. She might win some of the battle ... but she detailed way too many ways that her child is rooted here to win a relocation.

ALso remember, there is a current "Mobility Clause" in her case stating that she is NOT ALLOWED to relocate with the child. After 3 years of court, one judge already thought it wasn't a good idea for her to go anywhere.


Quote:
So, of course, no one will take custody from me. Judge has to be crazy to do it.
Self-entitlement. He's not trying to "take" custody from you. He's trying to show you he made a mistake and he wants to be a loving father and be in the kids life. You're saying "No...that you deserve it more". Not cool.

Quote:
And yes, I wouldn’t move if my child can’t go.
You will be staying here unfortunately for you. You currently have a mobility claus stating you can not leave and I dont see that changing given the child's roots in the community.

Quote:
There will be many other people though who will be asking question and asking why so many people suffered and why court did not let your son move.
You can ell those ppl that your son has another family , sports, friends, school, grandparents...I could go on .. in the current community. There's no suffering, no poverty, no abuse. No circumstance that would warrant a move...custodial mother or not.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-08-2016 at 01:23 PM.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 01:18 PM
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Janus,

thanks for your post. And no, I don't say my child has no father, he has a father and I understand that they have a relationship which is important.

What I don't understand, why considering father's flexibility with work schedule, his financial opportunities, fact that he has no other small children and any children in his care and me having sole custody, who took care of my son since birth , being a young woman who met a reliable and responsible person with job for life,. And we both want to have a stable loving family to bring my son and future children. Why I am not reasonable willing to move and bring up my son in loving atmosphere while still having father in his life, let it be in a different format?
In addition, giving him good education and financial security. I am not moving flight distance, I can give almost all holidays to father, they will be a good contact, plus two weekends per month.

I think it is more crazy to be left here alone, with little income, being sued by his father all the time, parents are getting older and can hardly help in a couple of years, living in crappy apartment. My brother has his own life so those relatives count but not as much as people think..... I will definitely be very unhappy and miserable being deprived of love and family as I badly need it at this stage of life. In addition my son won't have a sister or brother

I think judges think about what awaits a child if they say No too.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 01:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana K View Post
So, of course, no one will take custody from me.
It can and does happen. It all depends on how you argue your matter before the court.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana K View Post
Judge has to be crazy to do it.
Never assume anything is set in stone when it comes to family law.

Chomos v Hamilton, 2016 ONSC 5208 (CanLII)
Date: 2016-08-17
Docket: F1817/13
Citation: Chomos v Hamilton, 2016 ONSC 5208 (CanLII), http://canlii.ca/t/gt08x

I would heed this warning from the Honourable Mr. Justice Pazaratz...

Quote:
1. If only he’d been nice to Fluffy.

2. Sometimes in custody trials it’s the little things – literally – that help judges figure out what’s really going on.

3. Because believe it or not, judges realize that how people present themselves in affidavits and on the witness stand, is not necessarily how they behave when no one is looking.

4. Sometimes the little things can speak volumes.
People are pointing out hte "little things" that you are making mistakes on. Because believe it or not... Many posters on this forum realize that how people present themselves on this forum is not necessarily how they behave when no one is reading...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana K View Post
And yes, I wouldn’t move if my child can’t go. What I would do in that situation: I would have second child , get married, live here for next 10 years like that and meet my husband on the weekends and maybe one day my family will re-unite.
I suspect the other parent living in the US would move to Canada if that were the case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana K View Post
There will be many other people though who will be asking question and asking why so many people suffered and why court did not let your son move.
Mobility cases are no simple thing. You have been told this. The little things do matter. If the other party has as much money and access to legal help as you suggest... They have a very good fighting chance of stopping any move.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 01:21 PM
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loving father, I have no mobility clause, this is a standard clause that says that child can't be removed without father's or court's permission. When mobility comes in place, you go to court and ask for permission. It is not going to be a cheap and short battle but yes I plan to win it. I can expect it can take me two years or so.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 01:28 PM
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So, how custody could be taken from me, at least in the nearest several years. Child is doing good in school, I care for him, all records are good about me as a mother.
I had 2.5 years battle in court and took custody in fall 2015. If I bring mobility case and say the judge that No, I won’t move without child, so giving custody to father with my weekend access is not an option for me. Father maybe will try to bring a motion on custody change because of my potential move but how valid is something like to be taken even into consideration by court.

There is no grounds for that because as I said in refusal situation I will stay here with my child.

How court would even take into consideration such motion and not dismiss it
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 01:31 PM
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Tayken, thanks for your post, I don't have time now but I will read this custody case later. As I understand it was a custody case and I can believe that father's are granted sole custody sometimes. However, in my case, if I already got sole custody and I am taking good care of the child, how could court want to change it even if father would like to file a motion for a change. It has to be something really bad that I did to a child for court to even take it into consideration. with mobility, I understand the circumstances change but again, I would not go without child.
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