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Old 09-23-2015, 11:49 PM
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Question Questions about the contents of a case conference brief

Hi everyone, we finally received my partners exes case conference brief for her motion to change from joint to sole custody. In her application she stated that she needed sole custody because communication had broken down because my partner wouldn't agree to all her section 7 expenses, because he said to wait on the dual citizenship until my SS was 18 and because he questioned why his son was enrolled in catholic school without him knowing. In the application she states that my stepson is thriving.

She has changed the focus in her brief. The new focus is me and I'm wondering what approach we should take if any. She submitted no evidence with her application and did not file a reply. The brief however has easily 100 pages of documents attached. She's now claiming her son suffers anxiety when coming here because of me and my parenting skills, she claims that I am the reason communication between them doesn't work (he had a restraining order against her long before he even met me), she has spent countless hours researching me online and found a tweet from January 2012 where I said our exes were being a pain in the ass, she's claiming I'm unfit to be around children. None of this was raised in the application and we aren't sure how to or if to reply to it or what, if any, action to take at court.

I can get a letter from CAS stating that I have been an exemplary foster parent for over 10 years to my nephew and that I have been a strong child advocate but is there any point in this? Will the judge allow this trashing of me when I won't even be able to defend myself? Do we just ignore it?

Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 09-24-2015, 07:35 AM
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Allegations with no corroborating evidence? I'd ignore it. Goes to show her desperation and utter lack of credibility IMO. Simply mud-slinging. I believe she has to change her application if she wants to focus on you. I'm no expert in this area but from what you've posted this reads like a desperate, potentially mentally unwell individual, who is essentially coming apart at the seams. I don't think you have to do anything - she is doing a good job of losing her case all on her own.
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Old 09-24-2015, 11:57 AM
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Thank you. We found out today why she's been even more harassing than normal. She emailed my partner and informed him that she's amending her court application to go for spousal support because she has been cut off long term disability and they want her to go back to work but she's too stressed from dealing with him to go back to work. She's been in a common law relationship for three years and they own a house together. My partner and her have been apart since 2010 so I would hope a spousal support claim wouldn't fly but it seems nothing is certain with family law. An hour later she sent him an email stating that she was willing to be "reasonable" and settle this but that she wants all the things she listed in her previous email that totaled over 20k. It is impossible to keep up with where she's going to go next. I guess the case conference should be interesting.
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Old 09-24-2015, 02:13 PM
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I guess your ex could simply respond with "you do what you have to do" and leave it at that.

First order of business might be that he and his ex establish some basic rules of conduct - keeping outside people, who are not party to the action, out of things.
With that said, you would not be part of the conference and she will look like an ass if she so much as brings your name into any negotiation.
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Old 09-24-2015, 02:27 PM
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Oh I'm not going I have to work. I have zero desire to be there. We have tried to ask that it strictly be about them and their son but she dragged my nephew into the brief saying its unsafe for their son to be around my "foster child" and has in the past referred to him as a stray animal because he's half black, she has attacked my children saying my daughter is fat and ugly and has attacked my son saying he's a hyper little freak and she has said she can't wait for my partner's mother to die that it will be the happiest day of her life. One of the things my partner has asked for is an order that contact only be about their sons and no personal attacks. Will she follow it? Who knows. We just need some peace and quiet. Thanks for your replies!
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Old 09-24-2015, 02:53 PM
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One thing I am super-sensitive to is when a husband or wife involves their current partner in the ongoing dispute with a former spouse. This is clearly his problem to deal with and you shouldn't be made part of it.

Perhaps you should tell your husband to not tell you about this anymore?
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Old 09-24-2015, 03:02 PM
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The emails about my kids were sent directly to me not him unfortunately. I'm sure there is a ton of stuff I don't know about and don't want to because it would just upset me even more. He's not the most technologically savvy so I do some research for him and I do the posting but all the questions are his. I have enough issues with my own ex and his gf right now don't need more. We just weren't sure if we should reply to the bashing of me from the brief.
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Old 09-24-2015, 03:27 PM
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Nope I would not give any attention to bad behaviour. I know it's difficult and very hurtful.

Block her email address immediately. By not doing this you are merely encouraging more of the same sort of nonsense.

In the upcoming conference perhaps your husband should request an Order for the use of Our Family Wizard. He certainly has proof of harassing emails from her in which to justify his request. Our Family Wizard is often Ordered by judges for use between high-conflict couples who have to communicate with each other for children. You can read about it online.
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Old 09-24-2015, 08:11 PM
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Don't block her emails, include it in evidence
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Old 09-25-2015, 01:15 AM
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All 5 of her email addresses are blocked on my email and have been for quite some time. Then had to block her and my step-son on Facebook when she started using those, and have now blocked 5 different Twitter accounts she has created to try to contact me. I'm just beyond thankful she doesn't have and can't get my cell number. We had to cancel our home phone because of the non-stop calls and messages. He is asking for an order for Our Family Wizard along with the no bashing, etc. She's using that request as "proof" that they can't have joint custody but we've read case law where the judge has ordered both because giving the one parent sole custody would create more conflict and litigation. Fingers crossed he gets one of those judges. Tomorrow is the first access since the case conference was adjourned and as of 9pm she was still refusing to send him. I guess we shall see.

Links - we have every email she's sent my partner and the only good thing about her behavior is that she puts everything in writing. Like how the judge can shove the order that she not talk to their son about the legal issues up his ass because she will say what she wants.
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