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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-25-2006, 02:40 PM
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Aden

Can you call your son ?? rather than wait for her to promote it.
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Old 01-25-2006, 02:52 PM
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Good point Bearall.

I believe there has to be SOME way to be able to see the kids again ... the only thing that comes to mind, if she is not being cooperative, is via some court order?

Let's wait to hear what others have to say.


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Old 01-25-2006, 03:03 PM
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Hubby
This situation with Aden,in my opinion is not putting the interests of the children first. As a consequence it is seriously emotionally abusing Aden and also the children, it is not what we as adults and parents should be allowed to get away with even before the courts get involved.
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Old 01-25-2006, 03:12 PM
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Bearall,

No rebuttle on that. So, what's to prevent Aden from going with a friend (witness) and unexpectedly dropping by to see his kids. There is nothing in the way 'legally' preventing him from doing that right?

Sometimes, malicious/mean acts by one spouse comes back to haunt them. Her actions will more than likely not be looked upon very favorably by the courts if it should ever get to that.

Guess this is a good point for documenting everything in a journal ...

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Old 01-25-2006, 03:25 PM
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In my opinion
Aden has to show he is doing everything he can legally and morally to stay involved with his children. This could mean what you suggest or phone calls or colourful letters (drawings) by mail or unexpected visits to school or activities. He can no longer rely on his ex to keep him in the loop,with regards to their children,(something else appears to be motivating her) I don't think he should unexpectedly and without invitation,just drop by his ex's home.
It shouldn't matter the animosity between the parents, the parenting scheme has changed for now and it is all about staying involved through your own means for the sake of the children now and in the future. Efforts must be made now, well before the courts start burning bridges.

Aden has to help himself defend against this abuse, and it is personally hurtful for me to have to watch him suffer in this way !
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Old 01-25-2006, 03:34 PM
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Status Quo and Defacto Aden, believe we and the board members mentioned this at some point.

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Old 01-25-2006, 05:39 PM
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Default Working on it...

Im working on it..
Had a great session with my therapist today which seemed to help me out a bit... I need to be focusing on me.. a bit more... less on her....she is hurt but.. the kids are hurting not seeing me.. i am a great Daddy.
I am trying to focus..and i appreciate the advice....I would not drop by her home.. and I am going to leave her be regarding calling her..since I do not want to be accused of harrassing..even its for the kids... we will see what develops from here....I am known for my patience...and kind heart.. I am not going to change and be adversarial-- when that is just not who i am..
I love our chidlren tremendously.. this will have to work out for the better along the way..it has to get better...it has to..
Things cannot stay so negative for so long..I just do not see it staying bad for very long.. we had a tremendous freindship...and I truly hope that we can be freinds again soemday..at least for the sake of our kids...
I appreciate the advice...
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Old 01-25-2006, 08:31 PM
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Aden,

You seem to be such a nice guy, but sometimes nice guys finish last in custody cases. I think that by taking a wait and see approach access to your children will only get worse, and you will be made to look like the uncaring father for taking this approach. I can already read it in her affidavit "he never once called his son". I truly believe your only option is through the court system.
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Old 01-26-2006, 09:42 AM
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Aden,

Continue to document your every EFFORT in trying to see your kids. My only concern it status qua or defacto setting in.

You know, you're right, start thinking about you and the kids, let her take care of her self. You take care of yourself first, then you'll be better able to help her, if you choose too, in the future.

The mental abuse does have to stop ... and it will, beginning with you.

Going with what Grace said about nice guys, is true and this was echoed by Jeff as well in his mini course ... something we should all be reading! Keep in mind, there have been many 'nice guys' in the past that have won GREAT battles ... they know when to fight and when to rest.

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Old 01-29-2006, 10:41 PM
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Why DO nice guys finish last though?

Is it because they are too timid?
Too undemanding?
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