Question about Child Support

[Pabicop]

Hi everyone

I have a question regarding a child support issue. A friend of mine is starting a seperation. He and his wife have been married for 10 years. She has a child from a previous relationship, which she has been receiving child support from. She has seen a lawyer and is now asking for child support for this child from my friend as well. To me this seems logically wrong. How can she ask for child support from 2 men. And why would the lawyer send a letter requesting it? My outlook is that my friend makes more money than the biological father and that's why she wants it from him. When he confronted her about it she said that the money that the real father is paying will be deducted from the support my friend will give her. How can this be legal??? Can anyone give him some advice? I think she is trying to take him for a ride.

[sasha1]

Please forgive that I am not familiar with the legalities surrounding this, but from my understanding, it is very likely your friend will pay support for the child. And why not? Your friend was acting as a parent (presumably) to this kid for at least 10 years, right? Parenting is not a drop-in club. If you choose to act as one and resume the responsibilities of one, you'd best be prepared (and preferably, eager) to continue to do so, regardless of the success or failure of the marriage.

And yes, the mother is correct (in my understanding); if your friend is deemed to be responsible for some child support, his ex won't be getting "double"; the courts will calculate an amount that splits between both 'fathers'.

[Pabicop]

I don't think that he should ditch his responsibilities, that's not it by any means. I just don't think she should get support from 2 men. If he is ordered to pay support, to support the child that will be 18 in less than 6 months, then yes, that is fair. But then the biological father should be off the hook. Again, how can 2 men be supporting one child. I myself have an ex that is supporting a child that is not biological his. But has been there since I was 2 months pregnant. I just don't get it, a child can have 1 biological mother and 1 biological father. No question. There are many, many step parents that are more a parent to the child than the biological parent is, but only one should pay. If the biological father is either out of the picture, or just a deadbeat and not paying, then yes, I agree fully that the step parent is responsible. But when the biological father is in the picture, and paying support, then he is the one responsible.

[logicalvelocity]

From what I read, the facts of the situation are:

The friend lived with an individual for 10 years and during this time, the friend most likely acted as a parent to the child in question. The other party receives child support from the biological father.

The reason why your friend may be obligated to pay child support is primarily they acted as a parent to the child.

During the relationship, the child had the benefit of support from your friend in that household. To maintain a certain standard of living for that child, child support most likely will be ordered.

10 years is a long time to act as a parent.

Additionally an unrelated issue is that the child would have a right to contact with your friend.

[Divorcemanagement]

It may not seem fair to some for child support to be paid by a non-biological parent but the definition of what a parent is or what a family looks like has evolved in the last few years - it stands to reason that many thousands of people are parenting children who are not biologically their own.

From my point of view, financial support of children is one of the obligations that comes part and parcel with parenting kids - regardless of the structure of that family.

[Tim]

Originally Posted by Divorcemanagement

From my point of view, financial support of children is one of the obligations that comes part and parcel with parenting kids - regardless of the structure of that family.

Too true
Actually its one of the main ones. If you are responsible with money for your kids sake, then you never will be.