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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Itsworthit View Post
Oh he claims he wants to start helping now, however only if he can speak to and see our daughter.

I told him I am okay with that but we have to take it at her pace. He disagrees with that and said that I am letting her run the show.....I told him I am not going to force her into something she isn't ready for, the time will come he just has to be patient.

I'm confused and really don't know how to proceed. The conversations have gotten hostile, quickly, to the point that I don't even respond. He now doesn't want anything in writing and claims he "doesn't need a contract" to see his daughter.
Dad needs a reality check.

He has a legal obligation to financially support his child.

His child has a right to know and meet her father.

These two are completely separate. He can't "buy" access to his kid - even if he never paid a penny, his daughter still has the right to know him and see him. Similarly, he can't refuse to pay child support because he hasn't seen his daughter.

Setting up a schedule for re-integrating Dad and Kid is not "a contract", it's a reasonable measure to ensure that the reunion goes well. Kids aren't like TV shows - you can't miss a few seasons and then binge-watch at your leisure to keep up with the plot twists.

Can you seek out the advice of a social worker or psychologist in setting up a plan for Kid to get to know her father? The Family Law Information Centre at your nearest courthouse may be able to assist you, also if you have an office of Child and Family Services (or whatever it's called in your province), they can offer support. It will be a big adjustment for Kid to have Dad reappear, but I think it's in her best interests to know him and have whatever kind of relationship is possible.

I can also understand that Dad doesn't want to be patient indefinitely - he needs to know that things are moving forward, even if they aren't moving forward at the pace he wants.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
Dad needs a reality check.

He has a legal obligation to financially support his child.

His child has a right to know and meet her father.

These two are completely separate. He can't "buy" access to his kid - even if he never paid a penny, his daughter still has the right to know him and see him. Similarly, he can't refuse to pay child support because he hasn't seen his daughter.

Setting up a schedule for re-integrating Dad and Kid is not "a contract", it's a reasonable measure to ensure that the reunion goes well. Kids aren't like TV shows - you can't miss a few seasons and then binge-watch at your leisure to keep up with the plot twists.

Can you seek out the advice of a social worker or psychologist in setting up a plan for Kid to get to know her father? The Family Law Information Centre at your nearest courthouse may be able to assist you, also if you have an office of Child and Family Services (or whatever it's called in your province), they can offer support. It will be a big adjustment for Kid to have Dad reappear, but I think it's in her best interests to know him and have whatever kind of relationship is possible.

I am in Ontario - I will check that out, thank you.

I can also understand that Dad doesn't want to be patient indefinitely - he needs to know that things are moving forward, even if they aren't moving forward at the pace he wants.
I understand he is anxious or excited or whatever but he needs to understand that she is 10 and she has opinions and feelings that need validation. I'm letting her lead the way with this, wrong or not I have no idea.

Thank you, this is the kind of advice I have been looking for.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 02:23 PM
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I have an agreement/offer typed up. I am willing to share it if someone is willing to critic it for me.
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