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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 08-09-2015, 10:28 AM
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Default Providing vacation details

Here's the piddly-crap post i never wanted to have to post.

I am taking Ds x 2 to a cottage for a few nights and the ex is demanding that i provide contact information other than my cell phone and a location other than the small town where the cottage is located.

I'm a 'moving forward' type of person. But in the past she has not provided me with same and i have not demanded it. Moreover, i don't trust her with the information as she has, in the past, threatened to pick up the girls wherever they are if there is something going on she doesn't like. Now if this were all amicable i wouldn't hesistate. But this isn't out of country, this is within a hour and a half of the home, and I just want to enjoy a little anonimity without worrying about her or some representative of hers, showing up at the door.

To boot, it's a friends cottage and I don't feel great about giving out their contact information to someone who i honestly don't trust with it.

And no, there is nothing in our divorce order that states, i have to provide it in this instance. Common sense would say that we would do so, but common sense has too often given way to undermining time with my daughters...

Thoughts
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Old 08-09-2015, 10:51 AM
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Is your concern that she is going to show up unannounced? If so, could you give her some geographic information that's a bit more specific, but not enough to lead her to the door? For instance, "it's on the south shore of Lake Whatever" or "it's on Township Rd X"?

If this is happening on your parenting time, all she needs is an emergency contact, so I think if you held your ground and told her when you were going, when you were coming back, and how to reach you in between, you'd be on solid ground.
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Old 08-10-2015, 08:34 AM
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Thank you for that,

Exactly what I did. Sticking with by it. Seems so silly, but the thought that pops into my head when I consider giving her the exact address is "she's going to do something to 'f' this up".

What a pain
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Old 08-10-2015, 10:14 AM
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Agreed. She has an emergency contact number and knows how far away and the city, that's all she needs. Period.
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Old 08-10-2015, 10:37 AM
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There is an even better solution to this should it come up again in the future - stop informing your ex about plans that are not their concern.

You opened the door by informing the ex that you planned on going out of town. You didn't need to inform them, but for some reason it came out. What you do during your parenting time is none of the ex's concern, so long as you are not leaving the country (and maybe province). I don't tell my ex when we are heading up to my families camper because there is no need.

Exercise radio silence. Should your ex question you about your summer plans, simply state you are working on some and that you plan on taking your parenting time as prescribed.
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Old 08-24-2015, 03:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
There is an even better solution to this should it come up again in the future - stop informing your ex about plans that are not their concern.

You opened the door by informing the ex that you planned on going out of town. You didn't need to inform them, but for some reason it came out. What you do during your parenting time is none of the ex's concern, so long as you are not leaving the country (and maybe province).
Less is more. You are remaining within the jurisdiction (Province), not impacting her parenting time, and she can reach you in the event of an emergency. It's none of her concern. It's a simple mini-vacation.
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