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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 06-04-2010, 11:11 AM
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Default "primary caregiver/residence"

I have a question about the term Primary Caregiver/residence. If we have joint custody (50/50) and shared access (50/50) and an arrangment is made for which days the kids will spend at our respective places, does it matter which house is identified as the primary residence (or even primary caregiver)

She will be buying me out of the house, she makes 110 000 and I make 89 000. Kids will spend equal time at both but probably a little more with me because she travels so often.

Does this term affect child support expenses or is it simply a calculation.

I will be agreeging to contribute up to 600 towards the nanny (who will continue to live with her) that will look after our son during the day and then anything over and beyond that amount she will be responsibile for. I can pick the kids (son is 3 and daughter is 8) up at 4:30 on my days and would return them each day by 7am for the nanny to watch my son and walk my daughter to school. The cost of the nanny is roughly 1500. I will pay less because my wife will continue to use her to clean her house, do the laundry and watch the kids on her days until she gets home from work (630 - 7pm).

I have looked into a daycare for my son and it is 1000, plus before school and after school care for my daughter so close to 1250 total. The advantage of the nanny is the flexibility to drop off and pick up my daughter which is worth the extra little cash in my opinion. My wife is insistent on keeping her and that is fine with me as long as my contribution does not have to exceed 600. She has agreed to the 600 as well.
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Old 06-04-2010, 12:21 PM
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sounds good! Make sure you have it written into the agreement that childcare costs are X amount, and that anything the nanny gets paid over that amount is for your ex's home cleaning. It looks like you should be paying close to 50% (just under) so $600 seems quite fair.

Primary residence is used for registering the kids at school and doctors. You can clarify that in your agreement by stating that the children will be registered with their primary residence as her address, and secondary residence as your address. state that the homes will be considered equal in all ways.

Good Luck!
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Old 06-04-2010, 01:19 PM
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It seems like she actually never agreed to my 600 contribution but in fact wants half of the total costs for the nanny (roughly 1600).

Alternative daycare arrangements can be made for both of my kids (Montessori daycare for my 3 year old and one hour after school care for my daughter) and it would total 1100.

What are my rights/obligations if she is insistant on keeping the nanny? I will no longer require the nanny to clean for me, cook for me, do laundry, and work til 6pm. I finish work at 3:30 pm and will have the kids 50% of the time.
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Old 06-04-2010, 03:29 PM
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Are you officially separated yet? are there any court orders? Who has custody?

If there are no orders, then the default is joint custody. You have equal say in all decision making. However, the status quo has a nanny looking after the kids, right? The court is likely to want to see that stay the same, unless you can prove that:
1. Nanny is no longer an affordable option
2. daycare has some huge benefit that nanny can't provide

So you need to think about what would convince the court to change care providers,.

Otherwise, you can present a written estimate from the Montessori showing how much child care would cost and ask that the court order you to pay your share of that toward the nanny. Since nanny costs $1500, montessori cost $1100, it's quite reasonable for your ex to be paying $400 a month for the extra cleaning. That is not something you should be responsible for.

You could always propose that to your ex as well.
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Old 06-04-2010, 03:47 PM
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We are in the process of writing up a separation agreement. Won't go to court because we are going to try and make an amicable agreement good for everyone. There will be joint custody equal access 50/50. Our son will have to go into jk in one more year anyways so it will only be for 2010/2011 (hopefully).

I will propose that to my ex and see how that goes. Rediculous to think that I will have to pay for her house cleaning, laundry and cooking services.

Thanks for your help!
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Old 06-04-2010, 03:58 PM
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The suggestion of using what a more "typical" daycare provider would charge is a very good one. Use your proportionate share (sounds like 45%) as the value of your contribution. Consider that in the next couple of years both kids will be in school and the cost of before and after school care will be MUCH less than it is now.
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Old 06-04-2010, 04:03 PM
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costs will go down. My daughter goes to Jk this September. I have yet to find out how much daycare costs will be reduced. Not by half, I'm sure, as she will still need 2.5 days per week and either before or afterschool care.

Good luck. if you are reasonable with costs then she should accept it.
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