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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-14-2017, 08:39 AM
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Stop caring what other people think. Who cares what they say to you, they are insignificant in your life and you shouldn't even give them a second thought.

There is nothing you can do to stop him from leaving. He has no orders stating he can't. All you can do is go through the court process. If he leaves then you continue the process and hope one day it catches up to him. Then you move on with your life and comes to terms with the fact this man isn't going to be in his child's life physically, emotionally and probably financially.


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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 01-14-2017, 10:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Theres a thread on coping with stress and helpful tips. Seriously though, theres nothing you can do. Hes proven himself a deadbeat in many instances. Go through the process, get an order, file with FRO and then get on with your life. Spending your time trying to beat him or win against him or punish him or whatever will only make you crazy. You and your child deserve more than that.
Stay strong. Here's a thread I started a while back. Enjoy.
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...aration-18424/
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 01-15-2017, 05:49 AM
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Morn;

I'd agree with the previous poster. If he dissolves his assets, even to a family member, your in trouble.

For example, I can get a passport for another country allowing me to travel through the European Union. If my assets were sold off (no court order in place), I'd say it's almost impossible to get money/support.

AND by the sounds of it, he has backing in the country he plans to move to. Not a good combo for you.


I'm sure it's extremely difficult but you'll have to plan to move on. Hopefully, you have a strong family support network.

Take Care,
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Old 01-15-2017, 08:52 AM
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North of 40 - when you said assets sold off (no court order in place), do you think I have enough grounds to bring a motion asking to freeze his assets? Or to ask at my uncontested trial? I did select freezing the asset's in my application, but I didn't think I'd actually need to. I was naive and thought he'd be more willing to pay his support. I was very naive.

My story:

Just for the record, my ex husband for my other two children is to pay $1057 child support. He makes $125k, I make $45k. We agreed he should only pay $500 child support and that includes his portion of a monthly RESP contribution. We brought it to court, mutually, to submit as an agreement. Judge did request a conference to ask me why I'm settling so low when the was no hardship. I explained my rent was lower than my ex's and we'd both be in a position of renting due to a loss on our house sale. I said I wanted to be fair and the kids would benefit by having two equal nice house vs me having more money and him struggling. The judge accepted this and signed our order.

This situation with the second Dad (which sounds awful to say, the social stigmatization of that is awful), is a nightmare. My lawyer said it best. He said you feel wronged and my job is to find a way to compensate. I could go on and on about things this guy did, and now his gf too. And I thank LovingFather for the support link.

I think our system is proportionally unfair to the higher earner (usually the man).

But in this case, I'll sound awful, but I don't care. Everytime I get a nasty email saying "well your the one stupid enough to have the baby with a man who doesn't want you or the baby" (father) or "that baby has no rights to him or anything of his" (gf) followed by a picture of her brother holding a gun in the middle of some dessert, I figure this should cost you a few $$$ more. It's a total high conflict situation.

The reason I had the baby and kept her, was I shouldn't have gotten pregnant. I was told I was 2 months pregnant, two days after my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. My mom was only given weeks to live. My mom said she wanted to see the baby, she said she's living long enough to see the baby. She was too sick to take an interest in alternative treatments for her cancer. She just didn't have it in her. All she could do was lay in bed. I went off work to take care of her. My mother was a difficult patient to her nurses and kept firing them all. She wanted independence still but couldn't understand it wasn't possible. I woke up 8 months later, woke up in the morning, in active labor. Phone rings half hour after I've woken up and I'm told my mom passed away. 8 hours later, baby is born. So I I'm no way had the baby to trap this guy or anything like that. The baby was a connection to my mom.
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Old 01-15-2017, 10:49 AM
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I think you have to walk before you run.
I am perhaps confused.

1) Is the father denying paternity? If so, do you have an Order for paternity testing?

2) Do you have an interim Order for child support?

Until the above has been decided upon by the court then I am not sure that you can do much.

Before one pursues elevated collection (seizing assets, etc.) it stands to reason that you would have to show that regular collection (through a maintenance enforcement agency) has failed.

Please clarify

[sorry for your loss of your mother. Pancreatic cancer is terrible and often leaves family members imobilized as onset and death can be swift].
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Old 01-15-2017, 11:05 AM
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Your right Arabian with walk before I run. There is absolutely nothing in place yet. I've put forward a motion for an uncontested trial and interim support. We had a dna test done when the child was born ( court admissible) and I attached that to the application and all motions. I also attached a pay stub he showed me months ago.

I guess my goal is to try to know what to expect, try to be at prepared as possible for what this guy will do and therefore be able to ask for as much as i can reasonably expect the court to do, to enforce, based on the past predictors of his behaviors and what he told me the future would be (him leaving).

Personally, I think I'm going to go through all this, see a few $$$s, then he'll leave. Not much i can do but try
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Old 01-15-2017, 11:30 AM
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It is quite plausible that you will receive an Order for child support to be enforced by FRO. I do not believe FRO places any preference over competing child support orders. If your ex cannot meet his obligations to pay all orders it would then be up to him to go to court and try to reduce his child support based on undue hardship. He would be under very close financial scrutiny.

At least FRO is free!
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Old 01-15-2017, 12:14 PM
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Sorry to hear about your mom. Your child must be very special to you given the circumstances. If you are doing all of this just for $500 a month, just forget about it. It would be nice to have that extra $500 a month but I don't think the stress it's putting you through and the damage that is doing to your health is worth it. You either get it, or you don't. Don't let $500 a month take over your life. It's just money. Money comes and goes. Being healthy is far more important then having money.

I'm sorry but I'm not understanding the situation with the 2nd dad? Who is he? What part does he play in this situation? Can you clarify?

Last edited by trinton; 01-15-2017 at 12:17 PM.
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Old 01-15-2017, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Sorry to hear about your mom. Your child must be very special to you given the circumstances. If you are doing all of this just for $500 a month, just forget about it. It would be nice to have that extra $500 a month but I don't think the stress it's putting you through and the damage that is doing to your health is worth it. You either get it, or you don't. Don't let $500 a month take over your life. It's just money. Money comes and goes. Being healthy is far more important then having money.

I'm sorry but I'm not understanding the situation with the 2nd dad? Who is he? What part does he play in this situation? Can you clarify?


I think the 2nd Dad is the one she is in court with. The 1st Dad (who is the father of her older child) and her came to an agreement of $500 a month. 1st dad and her are settled, she is now with 2nd Dad trying to get an order for CS.

I do agree however that if it is a small amount you are going after it may not be worth it emotionally. Of course I don't agree with Dad fleeing, denying his child and not paying support, however sometimes your own well being is more important.


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Old 01-16-2017, 05:38 PM
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Quote:
Any thoughts on how I can prevent this guy from fleeing?
Quote:
If he dissolves his assets, even to a family member, your in trouble.
Litigation certificate (lien) on real property or investments can help protect your claim pendente lite.
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