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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2016, 01:39 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Worst-case scenario is you cancel and plan for trip in Spring.

Of course you have carefully documented your ex's actions (non-action) which were clearly not child-focused. Your daughter will be disappointed and likely very angry with your ex but then that would be your ex's problem to deal with.

You have to ask yourself if your ex has the capability to reimburse you for money you are out-of-pocket for as well as your costs of lawyers for this whole debacle? Going for an emergency motion for what amounts to vacation plans might not be well-received by court. Just something to think about.

You do have cancellation insurance?
Yes I do have cancellation insurance. Hey travel agency my former spouse and the custodial parent of my child is crazy and sat on her us for a week after she was ordered by the courts to cooperate with me to get a passport for our child and then attended the passport office when threatend to be re sued by my lawyer but showed up at the passport office 3 days latter without the required documents. She then didn't want to expedit the passport and started playing games to halt and eliminate my chances of getting the child's passport in time. Therefore I cannot travel anymore and I need my money back. I apologise for the inconvenience, I did everything I possibly could to make this trip happen.


It really is sad because my child has discussed her plans with all her peers and teachers at her school and we even packed all our suite cases.

I think if I shown the notes to the courts they may just order me to go in and apply and for mom to immediately give me the birth certificate on receipt. She should have it by Friday the latest and I should be able to pickup the passport on Friday or Tuesday, failing which my travel schedule to be pushed back.

It is an urgent issue that needs to be addressed and can only be addressed by the courts given that the mom is reluctant to do what the courts hasn't ordered her to do. StubbornNess at best.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2016, 02:13 PM
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(If your ex is anything like my ex all the orders in the world don't do any good. Only thing he ever understood was G A R N I S H E E. We all know that attempting contempt is expensive and often useless because all they have to do is simply state they misunderstood the directions of the court or some other lame excuse).

In other cases a parent pulling this stunt would only add fuel to the other party's move on sole custody. I hope you have a wise lawyer who gives you good advice after looking at the PROS and CONS beforeundertaking any more court action. Seems to me that many of your attendances in court and signing off of agreements are riddled with error and/or oversight. So therefore, be very careful on what you do next.

Sometimes silence can be golden... keep cards close to you... quit texting unless you and your lawyer have a solid plan of action agreed upon.
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Old 12-18-2016, 02:29 PM
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(If your ex is anything like my ex all the orders in the world don't do any good. Only thing he ever understood was G A R N I S H E E. We all know that attempting contempt is expensive and often useless because all they have to do is simply state they misunderstood the directions of the court or some other lame excuse).

In other cases a parent pulling this stunt would only add fuel to the other party's move on sole custody. I hope you have a wise lawyer who gives you good advice after looking at the PROS and CONS beforeundertaking any more court action. Seems to me that many of your attendances in court and signing off of agreements are riddled with error and/or oversight. So therefore, be very careful on what you do next.

Sometimes silence can be golden... keep cards close to you... quit texting unless you and your lawyer have a solid plan of action agreed upon.
Yes, my lawyer's great. I trust him. He knows when to go to court and when to be civil. He's a smart ass. But I like to hear from other parents as well, to see what has worked for them, what hasn't, and what they did, what they wish they did, etc.

Tell me more about this keeping your cards close to you?
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Old 12-18-2016, 02:59 PM
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Keeping your cards close to you - sometimes when we are upset we retaliate with threats of "your ass is toast the next time I see you in court" sort of remarks. Your ex then knows she has accomplished what she set out to do - fuck up your plans and upset you.

You have repeatedly communicated your request for her to attend with you at passport office so you can get documentation that your daughter travel with you on vacation. She failed to comply.

There is no sense in continuing an email/text war with her. I'd let her squirm and wonder what your next move is going to be (if you do anything at all). Let your lawyer handle this now. Be sure to request extra access time.... always request extra time.
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Old 12-18-2016, 03:17 PM
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Trinton .. follow Arabian's advice. She was a huge factor is assisting me throughout my case.. a very bright individual.
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Old 12-18-2016, 04:16 PM
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Trinton .. follow Arabian's advice. She was a huge factor is assisting me throughout my case.. a very bright individual.
Thanks but keep in mind I have zippo experience with child custody and my posts are merely my opinion based on what I have read on CanLii, this forum and personal experience with my divorce (not involving children) in numerous appearances (over 12) in court before a variety of judges.

There is much on this forum over what constitutes "emergency" motion. While cancelling a vacation is heart-breaking and expensive I am not certain if it would be viewed as an emergency. I would therefore tread carefully here and ask lawyer plenty of questions before proceeding.
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Old 12-18-2016, 04:30 PM
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I agree with Arabian... the child's life is not in danger or at risk... vacations I don't believe are emergencies. I agree it sucks, but reality is your ex will likely just get a slap on the wrist. You need to get an order that you can apply for the long form birth certificate and passport without your ex's involvement.

Unfortunately lesson learned... unless you have all necessary paperwork don't book trips. In future this would include letters of consents unless you plan to go to court every time you travel. I'm sorry this has happened to your daughter and you however it is a great lesson and moving forward you will remember this and make sure you have all your ducks in a row before heading to court.

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Old 12-18-2016, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I agree with Arabian... the child's life is not in danger or at risk... vacations I don't believe are emergencies. I agree it sucks, but reality is your ex will likely just get a slap on the wrist. You need to get an order that you can apply for the long form birth certificate and passport without your ex's involvement.

Unfortunately lesson learned... unless you have all necessary paperwork don't book trips. In future this would include letters of consents unless you plan to go to court every time you travel. I'm sorry this has happened to your daughter and you however it is a great lesson and moving forward you will remember this and make sure you have all your ducks in a row before heading to court.

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her game of tic tac toe with the passport issue was unexpected, she signed travel consents and everything in court. It's the case of, yeah I'll go get her passport with you, where do I sign... 2 days later, haha fooled ya! and then, haha I don't have the long form! sucker!!!

definitely won't be leaving any room for tic tac toe or chess games in future orders

it is a little sad that our courts let custodial parents get away with screw ups without serious cost consequences. cause a costs order against the parent with custody wouldn't be in the best interests of the child,, right ? So yeah, just keep screwing him over, they won't do anything to you. You have custody, you are god in the eyes of the courts. or better yet, you're the manager and he's the employee, he does as you say or you just fire him. Or you're the police and he's the bum, tell him as you say or arrest him and lock him up in jail. god bless joint custody and power balance.
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Old 12-18-2016, 06:02 PM
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I have read many times on how a custodial parent eventually loses custody after playing free and loose with access, particularly if it is not in the best interests of the child.

Do what other non-custodial people (men and women) have done -keep track of everything. You can create a chart (use spreadsheet) on all the times you request access and were denied: in one column you put date you made request and in the other column when request was denied. This can show how long it takes for her to respond to you.

This can be a very good "visual" aid for trial and possibly help you show the pattern.
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Old 12-18-2016, 09:27 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I have read many times on how a custodial parent eventually loses custody after playing free and loose with access, particularly if it is not in the best interests of the child.

Do what other non-custodial people (men and women) have done -keep track of everything. You can create a chart (use spreadsheet) on all the times you request access and were denied: in one column you put date you made request and in the other column when request was denied. This can show how long it takes for her to respond to you.

This can be a very good "visual" aid for trial and possibly help you show the pattern.
has to be really bad for that to happen. as long as the don't withold your court ordered access not much can be done. everything else is as agreed upon, if they don't agree then you don't get the time, there is no contempt finding.

Last edited by trinton; 12-18-2016 at 10:06 PM.
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