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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-18-2013, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilligan View Post
Happy to see coverage on this, but without an order, you are SOL. I was goign through a contested separation and my ex spouse did just that. Without an official order, there was nothing I could do. I had to file for an emergency motion, which was the only way to get the child back. It's been downhill since then, which is over 5 years...
Do you care to expand on the highlighted comment you made? In particular answering the following questions:

How has it "gone downhill"?
What was the result of your emergency motion?
Were you given any form of custody (sole, joint) resulting from your motion?
What was the resulting access schedule?
Were you criminally charged with "domestic violence" and/or "child abuse" at that time? Have you ever been charged with "domestic violence"?
Was the other parent represented by legal counsel at the time of the alleged abduction?
Were you represented by legal counsel at the time of the alleged abduction?

Finally, I suggest you click on my name "Tayken" and read the primary messages I post to this message forum. Most of the case law I research surrounds the abduction of children in contravention of section 283.(1) and 282.(1) of the Criminal Code of Canada, false allegations of "domestic violence" and "child abuse" and legal "truisms" to establish a false status quo in family law proceedings.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2013, 09:33 AM
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Re-read this thread againd. Can someone please explain what SOL stands for?

Thank you
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2013, 04:34 PM
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Sh#t out of luck
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Old 06-19-2013, 04:37 PM
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O'la-la...
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2013, 04:09 PM
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I will share my story which used to be a very common one for many in the military. You go away for training, tour of duty etc. come home to no wife or child, empty house & bank accounts, phone cut off and in-laws that lie to you about everything.
This happened to me in 1995, when I finally tracked her down and tried to get a compassionate posting to where ex took our child she called the base padre and told him I was abusive, that was all it took to stop me. She didn't need one bit of evidence it was just "assumed" that because she was the mother she was telling the truth...
She had filed for custody as soon as she got back to her home town which is 9 hrs away from where I was located, made it next to impossible for me to get to court and because I was left with all the debts I was pretty much broke and couldn't afford to travel in the first couple of years.
This was a common occurrence on every military base and although there were cases of abuse a lot of it was the spouse was bored, met someone else, didn't like to be a military wife with the long periods apart etc. It was common to see moving vans show up when we were all away.
My ex to this day does not feel she did anything wrong, how sad is that...
Cheers
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Old 06-21-2013, 05:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Do you care to expand on the highlighted comment you made? In particular answering the following questions:
A little history might be beneficial first. I separated from my ex in August 2005. Things were amicable for a while. We both started new relationship later in the fall and she had started dating a friend of mine, when I found out and confronted her, things blew up, this occurred in January 2006. The ex immediately got a lawyer, insisted I give her sole custody and threatened criminal allegations if I did not comply. When I did not sign over custody, I was arrested for assault based on her testimony. At the time, we were doing 50/50 access schedule, and after the ex managed to get me charged, she attempted to disrupt the status quo by insisting on a different access schedule, one that favoured the mother obviously. When I would not agree to that, the ex disappeared, and went into hiding in a hotel room in Toronto. Under the advisement of her lawyer and her family.

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How has it "gone downhill"?
The tone of our relationship was pretty much marked by the events. We spent about 2 years in litigation until we reached a settlement, things haven't been great since. Details will follow.

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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post

What was the result of your emergency motion?
The ex came back after about a month when the emergency motion was filled. The access schedule was modified where it was closer to a 60/40 split in the favour of the mother, schedule was set for 3 months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Were you given any form of custody (sole, joint) resulting from your motion?
This is where it gets somewhat good for me. After 3 months, things were not settled, other than an interim order. I made an issue to returning to a 50/50 schedule and the ex obviously did not like this. I had also registered my child in a pre-school program, only to have 8 police cruisers show up on the first day of class (please, try to picture me in a room of about 20 moms and 2 year olds, when a dozen cops come down on me) My ex brought another motion forward to have custody and I was awarded a 50/50 schedule & sole decision making, I guess bringing cops to pre-school is a bad idea .

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What was the resulting access schedule?
50/50

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Were you criminally charged with "domestic violence" and/or "child abuse" at that time? Have you ever been charged with "domestic violence"?
Yes, I was charged with assault which was resolved about a year later, after I was awarded sole decision making. As much as it was negative for me, the tactics seemed to be clear to the judge. Although this was criminal charge, my ex showed up with her own lawer to the hearing to try to force me into some sort of admission of criminal activity only to try to get custody.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Was the other parent represented by legal counsel at the time of the alleged abduction?
Yep, I would put my hand in fire as I am sure that her lawer counselled her to abduct the child in order to gain custody. I found some significant case law where this particular lawyer did the same thing with a previous client and won sole custody. Scum bag move in my books and gives you an idea of what my ex is like.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Were you represented by legal counsel at the time of the alleged abduction?
I got a lawyer real quick, he has been very good to me and represented me both in my criminal and family law matters.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Finally, I suggest you click on my name "Tayken" and read the primary messages I post to this message forum. Most of the case law I research surrounds the abduction of children in contravention of section 283.(1) and 282.(1) of the Criminal Code of Canada, false allegations of "domestic violence" and "child abuse" and legal "truisms" to establish a false status quo in family law proceedings.
Thanks, I will certainly have a look.


I think it is important to know the rest of the story though. After about 2 years, I settled on "Joint Custody" under a parallel parenting model. The conflict hasn't changed much but it goes in waves. Things are great when she gets her way, but she looses it completely when you say no. I just got out of 3 months of litigation, as she refuses to honour our child support agreement and wanted to go back retro-actively for the last 5 years and adjust. I am still awaiting a decision from the courts, but there is no end in sight of her trying to litigate, I think it is a bit of a hobby for her to bring things to a lawyer. In our motion, the judge literally asked my lawyer was my ex's problem was, and why we were there, "is she just vindictive" were the words he used.

I've got at least 10 - 15 years ahead of me.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2013, 05:19 PM
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Tayken, I have to say this however. When my ex abducted my child, I called the police, lawyers, everybody I could. The response was all the same. There is no separation agreement, there is nothing I can do. Just go to court as this is a family matter. Have a nice day.

It is essentially what I did. Are you suggesting that this was bad advice? Are you also saying that I could re-open this case 8 years after the fact? I am not sure if that would be helpful, but to walk away scott free from doing this sort of thing really bothers me. As "beenthere" said, my ex sees no wrong in her actions.
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Old 06-22-2013, 12:32 AM
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Have to chime in here. My ex also had a lawyer encourage her to remove our child from the family home and file for custody in a city that was far enough removed from me to make it extremely difficult for me to object. She also seemed inclined to threaten with the " I will call the cops if you don't comply" message up until this day.
Now that I am more educated on what a sham the family law system is I no longer feel like a sitting target. The fact that our child has also seen through her mother's twisted view of the world has helped. And yes I was totally shocked and extremely grateful when that happened, the hell we went through to get here was off the scale, I never thought that my child would ever want anything to do with me again.
Cheers!
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Old 04-16-2014, 11:56 AM
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Even if false allegations are thrown out and a police file created with partner assault? (Never charged, no restraining order yet). Because I did call the police. They did nothing but treat me like a second class citizen. Going to be three months I havent seen my baby.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 04-16-2014, 12:24 PM
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Time is of the essence in these cases. You have to file an emergency motion to have the child brought back. The longer your ex establishes a status quo, the worse the outcome could be for you. Good luck!
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