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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #111 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:10 PM
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Your primary concerns have been his behavior while the children are in his care, and some school absences. Sole decision making vs joint decision making will not affect those issues.

Custody will affect larger decisions like educational and medical final decisions. sole vs joint will not force ex to be a "better" parent. I have not seen anything you posted which speaks to issues that having sole custody instead of joint would address.
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  #112 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
Your primary concerns have been his behavior while the children are in his care, and some school absences. Sole decision making vs joint decision making will not affect those issues.

They will affect larger decisions like educational and medical final decisions. sole vs joint will not force ex to be a "better" parent. I have not seen anything you posted which speaks to issues that having sole custody instead of joint would address.
Well, based on what everyone is saying there's nothing I can do about his behavior or how he chooses to parent the children.

Either way, looks like it is what it is. Suck it up.
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  #113 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
Your primary concerns have been his behavior while the children are in his care, and some school absences. Sole decision making vs joint decision making will not affect those issues.

Custody will affect larger decisions like educational and medical final decisions. sole vs joint will not force ex to be a "better" parent. I have not seen anything you posted which speaks to issues that having sole custody instead of joint would address.
I haven't posted it, because there are many things I haven't posted, but we're currently in a dispute which is not going anywhere about where to enroll our (other) child in school. We currently don't have a primary address for the children. And we can't agree.

How is awarding Joint custody to parents like that benefiting the children? We'll just end up in court.
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  #114 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:20 PM
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Well, with joint custody, there is usually a dispute resolution process built into the order. Example, must go to mediation first prior to going to court.

The two of you need to start looking at how decisions will benefit the children and not how to get even with each other for your anger towards each other. I know this is not easy, but there is a saying that you have to love your kids more than you hate your ex.

Some how the two of you must ratchet down the conflict for the kids sakes.
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  #115 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
Well, with joint custody, there is usually a dispute resolution process built into the order. Example, must go to mediation first prior to going to court.

The two of you need to start looking at how decisions will benefit the children and not how to get even with each other for your anger towards each other. I know this is not easy, but there is a saying that you have to love your kids more than you hate your ex.

Some how the two of you must ratchet down the conflict for the kids sakes.
No dispute here. Everything you've stated is dead on.

But that's easier said than done.

And I could say I've known him for X number of years, and he has always been controlling, and never bent on anything. But I'm sure he'd say some of those things against me.

I went to mediation for 4 hours, let's just say I wish it were open, because it was a complete farce, and I would have loved to submit their report.
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  #116 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:49 PM
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60/40 is money grab?

40% is considered equal time sharing, and results in the same Child support payments as 50/50, so I can't see how anyone would see that as a money grab...
Because you're getting very close to a parental split which is financially inequitable for one party...offset vs full-table cs.

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I went to mediation for 4 hours, let's just say I wish it were open, because it was a complete farce, and I would have loved to submit their report.
So the mediation was a farse and the police reports are wrong...

This is what I meant about patterns. Be careful going into court with themes like this.
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  #117 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:52 PM
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How is awarding Joint custody to parents like that benefiting the children? We'll just end up in court.
Because joint custody isn't just about the fact two adults can't stop their petty squabbling.

Its about the fact that courts want the presence of both adults and both of their opinions to be considered in the raising of the children they have together unless there's some very compelling reason not to do that.
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  #118 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:53 PM
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Perhaps an OCL assessment is beneficial to exposing the truth.
Think again. I wouldn't recommend you involve the OCL unless there is a very strong reason to. So many people go to the OCL thinking they will get to tell their story. Not the case.

See: CanLII - 2011 ONSC 6451 (CanLII)

I would also advise you to review a judge's (very respected one too!) view of "the truth": http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-mossip-13753/

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What is sad for the Court is the amount of time, money, energy, and emotional angst, that these parties have engaged in to convince themselves, the other party, the children, their friends, the professionals involved, and now the Court, that their truth is the “real truth”; that their version of events is what actually happened.
Read the thread and the attached case law... Don't look for the truth. Look to resolving issues and settlement.

Last edited by Tayken; 02-03-2016 at 03:55 PM.
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  #119 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2016, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Think again. I wouldn't recommend you involve the OCL unless there is a very strong reason to. So many people go to the OCL thinking they will get to tell their story. Not the case.

See: CanLII - 2011 ONSC 6451 (CanLII)

I would also advise you to review a judge's (very respected one too!) view of "the truth": http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-mossip-13753/



Read the thread and the attached case law... Don't look for the truth. Look to resolving issues and settlement.
Thanks, I'll read through these. That's why I'm here.
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