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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-11-2017, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Day cares are businesses.

It is reasonable that a business plans/forecasts staff costs.
Hopefully the daycare your children go to are staffed by qualified, dedicated individuals.

Subsidized day cares help single people and couples who live below the poverty line get on their feet.

Why should a child, who is unlucky to be born into a dysfunction family (going through litigation) miss out on a special time to play with some friends?

You get what you pay for. I would much prefer my child to go to a centre which has little staff turnover. A 5.00/day drop in centre cannot possibly hire the same quality of staff as a properly-staffed and funded care centre IMO.
the daycare is far from quality. its not a centre daycare. it is a home daycare. it is licensed but it is awful and the daycare person is awfully rude.

child has tons of time to play with kids at school. a child doesn't need to go to daycare to play with friends. its a low quality home daycare provider.

the 5 dollar a day daycare centre is extremely high quality. the staff are nice and pleasant and the place is very clean and well staffed. 5 is only for before or after school. the rate is higher for full day. but still less than the subsidized scam jobs. there are tons and tons of high quality low cost day care.

why should a child be placed with stranger when the other parent is available? child would much rather with a parent then a stranger.


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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 02-11-2017, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by stripes View Post
Unless your child is being neglected or abused, Mom's time is her time to arrange as she sees fit. Your time is your time. Mom can't come in and start telling you what to feed Kid or what time he should go to bed when he's with you, and you can't tell her that she has to use you as a babysitter.

The sooner you get past this, the sooner you can move on. You aren't going to win this one.
i am required to come in contact with daycare and the relationship between daycare and I is detoriated. the child senses the tensions at exchanges and this is not healthy for the child. i suppose this is why daycare should never stick their nose into custody disputes.

i have been completely disparaged and yelled at for no good reason by the daycare in front of the child. it's really bad. the daycare provider is crazy.

the issue with subsidized daycare is not just when the child is there, but the fact that the maximum contact principle cant be established without sacrifice the current daycare.

my access time shouldn't be dictated or sanctioned by some home daycare program that was unilaterally decided on by the other parent.

there are tons of better daycare providers available. the child hates the daycare and is forced to attend because of the other parents needs. nothing to do with the children needs.

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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 02-11-2017, 10:20 PM
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I stand corrected. I thought your child was going to a proper day care. The 5.00/day thing would be what was referred to (years ago when my son was young) as "after school care" which generally was run by parents and in a location close to the school. My experience was that the after school care program was excellent and gave my son the option to go there as opposed to being exposed to playground bullies while waiting for me to pick him up after school... he used to tell me to not come right away because he enjoyed it.

Sounds as though the "daycare" you are referring to is simply your ex opting to pay a friend or relative to look after the kid(s)... a kind of paid babysitting.

I don't think you can do much about anything if the "babysitting" occurs during your ex's parenting time though. Perhaps you could offer some alternatives such as a sport or artistic pursuit instead? Of course this will cost money but would get your kids out of the dreadful situation you describe.

BTW - "daycare" that I was describing my son attended was before he went to grade 1... he attended kindergarten at the same daycare.
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Old 02-12-2017, 12:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
the daycare is far from quality. its not a centre daycare. it is a home daycare. it is licensed but it is awful and the daycare person is awfully rude.

child has tons of time to play with kids at school. a child doesn't need to go to daycare to play with friends. its a low quality home daycare provider.

the 5 dollar a day daycare centre is extremely high quality. the staff are nice and pleasant and the place is very clean and well staffed. 5 is only for before or after school. the rate is higher for full day. but still less than the subsidized scam jobs. there are tons and tons of high quality low cost day care.

why should a child be placed with stranger when the other parent is available? child would much rather with a parent then a stranger.


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I believe that what happens on your parenting time is your business and what happens on hers is up to her to decide.
My ex just went on vacation and made sure to book up his family members to take care of the kids on a few occasions when I would've been completely free. I didn't even comment on this to him because what's the point? It just creates more drama.
If she wants to send the kid to daycare when you are available, so be it - she can do this. It sucks for you understandably but unless you get your access time increased (which you are trying to do) you don't have a leg to stand on. Would you bring your child over to her if you needed babysitting on your time? From the way you describe your contentious relationship with her, I would doubt this. Too many problems are created when the lines of access are blurred. You need to focus on increasing your access time and drop the daycare issue. I understand your need to vent about it, but unless you can prove there is abuse or negligence occurring there I don't think you can do anything about it.


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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 02-12-2017, 01:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
I believe that what happens on your parenting time is your business and what happens on hers is up to her to decide.
My ex just went on vacation and made sure to book up his family members to take care of the kids on a few occasions when I would've been completely free. I didn't even comment on this to him because what's the point? It just creates more drama.
If she wants to send the kid to daycare when you are available, so be it - she can do this. It sucks for you understandably but unless you get your access time increased (which you are trying to do) you don't have a leg to stand on. Would you bring your child over to her if you needed babysitting on your time? From the way you describe your contentious relationship with her, I would doubt this. Too many problems are created when the lines of access are blurred. You need to focus on increasing your access time and drop the daycare issue. I understand your need to vent about it, but unless you can prove there is abuse or negligence occurring there I don't think you can do anything about it.


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that's exactly it though the subsidized restrictions is interfering with my access getting increased. the child wants more time with me and the mom just sticks her in daycare with someone of bad character and uses that to deny me additional time

i dont think a lot of the posters are familiar with subsidized daycare. it's not regular daycare. they have restrictions on how many days the child can be away per year and its very limited. if that gets surpassed then the daycare gets cancelled.

if i was in the other side and they wanted more access than every other weekend, I would only choose daycare over them if I was alienating them.

parents come first, then grandparents, and then strangers, not the other way around

the child expresses her desire to be with me over daycare and I'll continue to reinforce that for the child to make her own decisions and live her life, as opposed to being told how to live by her mom and babysitters . she should get what she really wants and not what others want for her. she has her own voice.

regardless, subsidized daycare will be canceled if she hasn't found a new job within 12 weeks. based on what I've read



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Last edited by trinton; 02-12-2017 at 01:16 PM.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 02-12-2017, 04:21 PM
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If Mom finds a new job are you going to drop the whole subsidized daycare thing?

In reality I understand what you are saying but the fact is on her time she can do as she pleases. When she gets a job she will continue putting the child in daycare or send to a babysitter and you don't have an argument. There is a reason why parents are able to do what they want with their time. It prevents the arguments between the parents, most times anyways


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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 02-12-2017, 04:56 PM
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Mom should loose her subsidy if she does not find a job within a specific time frame. I would double check your facts regarding the days missed. In Ottawa your child can miss 36 days a year. Should they go over, you are charged the full non-subdidized daily rate. Being kicked out for missing days seems a bit extreme to me.
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Old 02-13-2017, 12:43 AM
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Originally Posted by motherbear4 View Post
Mom should loose her subsidy if she does not find a job within a specific time frame. I would double check your facts regarding the days missed. In Ottawa your child can miss 36 days a year. Should they go over, you are charged the full non-subdidized daily rate. Being kicked out for missing days seems a bit extreme to me.
you are right. let me clarify. the 36 days are split between the parents, so 15 each. but they also include statutory holidays.

so if I get my access increased, then there will be way more than 36 days a year missed. Say I get 50/50, then the child misses about 130 days.

I think each subsidized daycare wants a number of kids in, and if the kid is only there half the time, and the parents are paying for the other half the time, do they really need subsidized daycare? It would be so much cheaper to just get regular daycare and pay for the time the child is in daycare, as opposed to a crazy rate for the days that the child misses daycare.
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