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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 05-16-2014, 09:13 AM
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This goes to court today right? If so, good luck! Cant wait to hear the outcome!
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 05-16-2014, 09:13 AM
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Yep. Four offers to settle and not one signed.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 05-16-2014, 09:17 AM
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Good luck Serene. Hopefully you will get resolution. I know how taxing repeated court attendance can be.
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Old 05-16-2014, 10:33 AM
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Fingers and eyes are crossed ... sending positive vibes your way. I hope this shot will settle things for you.
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Old 05-16-2014, 04:36 PM
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Okay so here is the scoop. And I am going to put it in detail so we all can see how HC this was, how immature and how the courts ALLOWED this shit show to happen.

Court was scheduled for 10 am. They were on docket. Lawyer was listed for mom. Neither mom or her lawyer showed. Court called the lawyer. Lawyer said he would be there around 12:30. Dad was told that.

Dad went to the duty counsel and showed his documents, all four offers to settle and all mom's emails agreeing to exactly what we are ordering but said she refused to sign the offers to settle or provide the necessary paperwork for an Order on Consent. Dad went in front of the judge without mom or her lawyer as they did not show still. Dad explained the above (less the Offer part).

The judge was annoyed as dad had a final order in January and apparently you cannot bring a motion within 6 months of a final offer and therefore the courts should never have accepted the motion (news to me and no idea where this is stated). Judge asked dad why he was here given the previous order in January. Dad said "we overlooked these three weekends but they were contained in the SA but I am not getting any resolution so I am here so as to avoid future points of contention". Judge responded "absolutely" and agreed to the Order.

Dad prepared the draft order and by the time it was to go back in front of the judge mom's lawyer showed up. Although, recall he claims he isn't on record, but he is lol. The lawyer offered to bring the paperwork in front of the judge. Dad refused and said he was the Applicant and would do it himself. He got a final Order for the 3 weekends.

Dad discovers that the lawyer had faxed the court previous to today to provide mom's consent to the court. Of course, typical mom/lawyer style they never advise us. So dad wasted an entire day pursuing this.

The Order from January is still in the Judge's chambers waiting for it to be stamped and signed. The lawyer balked that he has not had time to aprove it as to form and content despite being served late March or the first week of April. Dad said "too bad, you had ten days to object/respond to any items and didn't". So we hope to get the Order for that soon. Dad did come home with todays order in hand stamped, seals and marked final.

No costs awarded to either party.

Dad lost a days pay (one of many now) and the time off to file all this paperwork. Wonder if mom realizes that her CS is affected by dad's line 150 which was just reduced by another $500 for today's antics. Of course, she also paid her lawyer to drive to the court house, take all her calls, forward the emails, etc. My estimate - it cost her another $1500 to do what she could have done in 30 seconds and email back to dad a month ago.

We aren't going away for the weekend as we had wanted to. That opportunity was lost since dad got home at 3 pm and is spent. So much for best interests of the kids huh? Mom successfully took our travel plans away from her kids. Hats off mom - job well done!
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Old 05-17-2014, 03:32 PM
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Serene--that is so unfortunate and so unfair, I could scream with frustration.
I just don't get it. I understand an HC individual but what I dont get is how this sneaks by in a system which should penalize and severely deal with people who choose to play these immature, idiotic stupid games.

I personally spend a lot of fees each year to deal with a SA,. The cheques are late, the address is wrong, the postal code is wrong after living in this house for 25 years and being married for 29, you would think he knows my name and doesnt make the cheques payable to an intial. Just a waste of time and frustration. These individuals should be taken care of, then come to think of it, karma is a bitch.
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Old 05-17-2014, 05:34 PM
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He was clearly jerked around. Maybe it would have been more cost efficient to have had a lawyer? Lawyer would have chased the original order down (they can contact judge) and there wouldn't have been the wasted time about whether she was or was not represented. Lawyers are usually in the court house through the week and they can check this. Professional courtesy between the lawyers sometimes helps. Husband wouldn't have had to take a day off work. Other lawyer would have shown up.

Nope I believe the other side took advantage of Serene's husband because he was not represented by counsel. Sucks.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 05-18-2014, 10:12 PM
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Had we had a lawyer it would have cost us more. I'm glad we didn't.

There was no confusion if she was represented or not. She was represented and we knew that all along.

It is frustrating that they played these games. Had my hubby been late they would have went ahead without him.

But what is most interesting is being HC cost mom on this day. She fought for a month by not signing our offers to settle. And then she sent lawyers to court house - only to get an order that was exactly as our offers and motion paperwork. Of course, this does not make financial sense.

We uphold all our agreements whether they are in writing, verbal or in spirit. If more people did this the world would be a better place. Its a shame we have to resort to this just to define "shared equally". Ah well, it is what it is!
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 05-18-2014, 10:18 PM
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The problem with being self-represented is that it seems that you were not awarded costs. Had you had a lawyer represent you the other party would likely have had to pay costs. If a person keeps getting hit with costs you'd think they would think twice about doing it again. My ex doesn't but he's an anomaly.

All in all you have it on the record now.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:12 AM
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Why would it cost you more? If your offer to settle was what was granted, why wouldnt you recover your costs. I thought you said that your husband had to take off work, with counsel he could have worked and recovered all costs related to this including legal fees.
His x is clearly playing games and sometimes the anguish and the frustration is the goal--seems like she is getting what she wants.
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