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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 07-29-2015, 01:44 PM
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Default opinions - Re transportation

Well had a Case Conference this week, and still have limited results of course! I did get Spousal support taken off her list of "musts" but she still is not willing to do any transportation!
So some back ground, I moved 85kms away right at separation (August) and STBX sold the matrimonial home and moved in February to make the full one way commute now 175kms away.
So in our CC the judge indicated that generally transportation is assessed on a couple things, one being "who caused the separation" but that is a tough one to prove. So next they would look at who caused the distance, which from my stand point my STBX did, but again looking for input here and thirdly they say that the easiest and most common is that the parent undertaking the kids for access is responsible. So this one is a true stumbling block for me? I take this as I pick the kids up for my weekend access and my STBX picks them up for her access through the week, but apparently my STBX and her lawyer think that I should be picking them up and dropping them off for the access!
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Old 07-29-2015, 02:27 PM
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So you moved 85 km away first, and then your ex moved an additional 90 km away, for a total distance between you of 175 km? It sounds like you're both about equally responsible for the total distance which now exists between your home and should share the hassles involved equally. One way to do this is to say that whoever is beginning his/her time with the kids picks them up at the other parent's home (i.e. on the beginning of your weekends, you drive to Mom's to pick up the kids; at the end of the weekends, Mom drives to pick them up from you). It sounds like this is the system you have in place now. Is there any reason why Mom can't continue with this system? It seems pretty clear-cut to me.
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Old 07-29-2015, 02:28 PM
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By your own admission you moved away from the marital home right after separation before your ex did. You moved 85k away and she did not object? and obviously you did not object to her moving away either and creating a longer distance between each others home.

So I would think the onus will fall upon you to do the driving both ways as you moved away first.

You could argue that her also moving created an unjust hardship in both time,and travelling costs. You could also offer to drive the 85km distance each way that you personally created and meet somewhere nuteral.

You could puck them up from School on Friday and then take them back in On Monday morning. Although that would be an early Monday morning drive.

Or you could move closer to your ex's new location and seek an agreement that neither can move away from the school district again.
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Old 07-29-2015, 02:35 PM
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When I moved the 85kms away I did 100% of the driving and didn't question that I should. However when my STBX decided (without my permission or consent) she refused to do the driving, so I have suggest I drive to pick them up and she can drive to pick them up at the end of the weekend to split it 50/50 and she is refusing to do ANY of the driving.

I pick them up on Friday's at 6pm but no way I could take them back monday I work full time and now have a home and life established where I am living.

I am not asking her to do the sole driving herself at all just split it 50/50 I currently spend 8 hours in transportation twice a month, runs me approx 400 alone in fuel.

But no I will not be moving closer to the city because she chose to relocate my kids without consent.
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Old 07-29-2015, 02:43 PM
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Okay, reasonable that you cannot drive Monday morning. And of course as both parents have moved for their own convenience you need to both drive. If she refuses to pick them up,mwhat would be the consequence of you refusing to drive them back?

When she moved did you have anything in your agreement which prevented her from moving? If so then I Guess you could put in a motion to either make her return back or assist in the driving of the extra distance she created. if no mobility clause exsists then you deal with that asap, because there is nothing preventing her from moving further away.
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Old 07-29-2015, 02:49 PM
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There was nothing in our separation agreement as to moving or transportation. And I did refuse to return the kids and made her come pick them up and every visit after that she refused me access until she had something in writing that I would return them. So we have gone visit to visit like this until we can come up to some agreement. which has yet to happen. I have even offered to walk away from over $60,000 in financial profit from the matrimonial home etc and she still refuses to do the transportation.

Her lawyer plans on going to trial over the transportation issue solely, which if that happens I will be going after half of all the property. Think she is simply being directed by a greedy lawyer!
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Old 07-29-2015, 02:49 PM
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I have read in some cases where a parent experiences high costs of access the courts can adjust support. There is case law on this.
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Old 07-29-2015, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by concerneddad32 View Post
There was nothing in our separation agreement as to moving or transportation. And I did refuse to return the kids and made her come pick them up and every visit after that she refused me access until she had something in writing that I would return them. So we have gone visit to visit like this until we can come up to some agreement. which has yet to happen. I have even offered to walk away from over $60,000 in financial profit from the matrimonial home etc and she still refuses to do the transportation.

Her lawyer plans on going to trial over the transportation issue solely, which if that happens I will be going after half of all the property. Think she is simply being directed by a greedy lawyer!
This issue seems simple. Mom and Dad both moved an equivalent distance, they should both take responsibility for the driving. If this is the only issue and Mom is refusing to pick up the kids solely out of stubbornness, I imagine any trial would be pretty quick.

However, it sounds like there are other issues, if Mom and Dad are also arguing over $60 000 in marital property, so perhaps you should buckle yourself in for a long ride ...

Would you consider giving in on the transport issue (agree that you will do all the driving) in exchange for a concession from Mom on something else?
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Old 07-29-2015, 07:18 PM
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Why not meet half way if you both moved basically the same distance? You did all the driving from your home to the mat home, when Mom moved, she should be responsible for the drive from the mat home to her home. Pick a place in the mat home town/city and offer that.

By her withholding the kids because she wants you to sign something is not okay. Go pick up the kids, don't sign. If she refuses the kids to you, you document it. I can't imagine her wanting to go to trial over transportation. If she forces you to sign, write "without prejudice", that way it cannot be used against you, do you receive copies of these?
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Old 07-29-2015, 08:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Why not meet half way if you both moved basically the same distance? You did all the driving from your home to the mat home, when Mom moved, she should be responsible for the drive from the mat home to her home. Pick a place in the mat home town/city and offer that.

By her withholding the kids because she wants you to sign something is not okay. Go pick up the kids, don't sign. If she refuses the kids to you, you document it. I can't imagine her wanting to go to trial over transportation. If she forces you to sign, write "without prejudice", that way it cannot be used against you, do you receive copies of these?
good and a very fair idea. That way they are both driving the same distance and its broken into smaller chunks of time spend in the vehicle.
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