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Old 03-13-2014, 12:07 AM
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I finally received the ex's complete financial statement today. It came with SC Brief and an Offer to Settle.

He has relinquished custody, but refuses all arrears. Refuses all S7 expenses, including medical. Doesn't request any access at all.

His reasoning for refusing arrears takes up 6 pages in the brief.

Do I bother responding to all the allegations surrounding custody if he's put in his brief and offer to settle that he's giving up joint?

He isn't asking for access, but wants 7 days notice on major decisions. Can I assume by this that he's relinquishing all aspects with regard to custody - ie, medical/dental/educational/ everything?? It isn't mentioned anywhere else in the offer.

No expiration on it....can I assume it's good until at least SC is done?

I'm a little taken aback and this wasn't at all what I was expecting to happen. I really thought he'd fight on the custody til the end.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:29 AM
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Perhaps someone else knows: is there anything in "the rules" that lays out a time frame for which to respond to a formal offer to settle?

Interesting that he has 6 pages of why he should not pay arrears, but apparently much less commentary devoted to the child/ren.

I would keep any response brief. The custody he's proposing could proceed on consent I would think. I can't imagine why he thinks he is not accountable for the arrears. The court should determine that, unless you have a number in mind that you're prepared to settle on. If it meant putting an end to the matter, it would be worth it to reduce the arrears as they are oft considered "water under the bridge." Is he paying ongoing monthly support via FRO?

It is odd that there is no mention of access. Forgive me, I haven't been on odf for awhile: what are the ages of the children?
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:36 AM
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If you do not accept the offer in whole or in part you do nothing.
If there is a time limit to the offer (whole or part) you provide your agreement/acceptance within that time frame IF you agree. Otherwise you do nothing.
An offer without an expiration can be withdrawn at any time.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hadenough View Post
Perhaps someone else knows: is there anything in "the rules" that lays out a time frame for which to respond to a formal offer to settle?

Interesting that he has 6 pages of why he should not pay arrears, but apparently much less commentary devoted to the child/ren.

I would keep any response brief. The custody he's proposing could proceed on consent I would think. I can't imagine why he thinks he is not accountable for the arrears. The court should determine that, unless you have a number in mind that you're prepared to settle on. If it meant putting an end to the matter, it would be worth it to reduce the arrears as they are oft considered "water under the bridge." Is he paying ongoing monthly support via FRO?

It is odd that there is no mention of access. Forgive me, I haven't been on odf for awhile: what are the ages of the children?
1 child. She's 11. He states

"The respondent shall have access to the child in accordance with the child's wishes."

In the brief he says she can go visit him if she likes - he's in the US. But, no mention of a plan or who would bear the costs of that flight.

The arrears is cs on income adjustments and unpaid S7 - specifically dental/medical. My motion was bare bones on the financial side anyway, but he goes on for pages and pages about "blank cheques" and "when will it ever end?" nonsense. A lot of BS really. But, it speaks volumes to character.

A lot of excuse making throughout the CS....and a ton of exaggerating. They turned my request for one week of summer camp to a "summer vacation" and completely disagrees that she needs braces.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
If you do not accept the offer in whole or in part you do nothing.
If there is a time limit to the offer (whole or part) you provide your agreement/acceptance within that time frame IF you agree. Otherwise you do nothing.
An offer without an expiration can be withdrawn at any time.
Well, I accept the sole custody obviously. If I don't who gets her ?? (insert laugh here, need to de-stress)

So, no expiration on it which from what you're saying means they can yank it at anytime. Well, considering how favourable it is to them financially, and he clearly doesn't care about custody, I don't think it will be yanked.

I counter accepting the custody but not the financials?
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:41 AM
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No you don't counter the offer to settle. You accept the custody clauses. Period. (unless it is a non severable offer). And I'd hurry up and do that if that is what you want.

...but what about access to the child?
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:44 AM
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Quote:
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No you don't counter the offer to settle. You accept the custody clauses. Period. (unless it is a non severable offer). And I'd hurry up and do that if that is what you want.

...but what about access to the child?
He doesn't ask for anything. Nothing at all. All that 41/59 crap he ran my legal bills up with two years ago and he never followed through with that. I'm not surprised he doesn't want access. I am surprised he's giving up custody. I know that doesn't make a ton of sense, but I'm not dealing with a normal person here.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:54 AM
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If I were you I'd pick the line items (hopefully they are numbered) and agree to them ASAP before he realizes he might have screwed up. I'm assuming of course this was a severable offer.

If we all had "normal" people to deal with, I suspect many of us wouldn't be in the situations we are... I've got ex wife's mother emailing us now...I wish more people had a hobby lol
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:56 AM
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What happens if you make your own offer to settle?
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:58 AM
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If MS Mom makes her own offer to settle and does not accept the line items that she wants to in his offer to settle then you have transfered the power/authority to the father to accept/deny the components of the offer. This makes no sense. Ultimately if there are parts of the offer that MS Mom wants to accept, and it is a severable offer - why would she complicate things any more? She would accept what parts she wants to and then perhaps make an offer to settle for the outstanding issues.
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