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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #71 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2017, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Dad1985 View Post
The ex feels a lot of confidence at this point with the ocl in her favor and after the settlement conference.

Obviously I on the other hand not so much. My lawyer did mention it was a gamble to go to trial and cant insure me that we win.

It is also at the kitchener court house from what I understand is far behind in custody arrangements
There is never any gauarntees. it's always a gamble. for both sides. The judge just doesn't want this to go to trial and is bullying you to give up custody of your kids - and when you do - it is your fault and you must assume full responsibility for that decision. Go to trial and if you lose then let them give you reasons why you should not be an equal parent, and then exercise your right to appeal it in the Toronto court. Don't let the judge pressure you into settlement like a pushy car salesman. Judges job is to settle as many cases as possible on consent and keep trial numbers as low as possible. Do I aggree with the nasty attitudes they use to do that? Absolutely not. obviously has panties in a bunch based on what the judge has said. You should be able to get parallel parenting at the least. Sole custody is child abuse. Don't consent to it. You _will_ regret it.

keep in mind the courts argue they do not give custody to mothers the majority of the time and it's the fathers themselves that give it up. Go to trial and if your not worth of a parent to have involvement in your kids let the trial judge be the one to make that call so that you fought tooth and nail for your kids before your kids eyes. If I ever gave up custody of my kids because of what some monkey in a court room said I would not be able to look at my kids in the eyes and tell them that I love them.

Last edited by trinton; 06-28-2017 at 07:58 PM.
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  #72 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2017, 08:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
There is never any gauarntees. it's always a gamble. for both sides. The judge just doesn't want this to go to trial and is bullying you to give up custody of your kids - and when you do - it is your fault and you must assume full responsibility for that decision. Go to trial and if you lose then let them give you reasons why you should not be an equal parent, and then exercise your right to appeal it in the Toronto court. Don't let the judge pressure you into settlement like a pushy car salesman. Judges job is to settle as many cases as possible on consent and keep trial numbers as low as possible. Do I aggree with the nasty attitudes they use to do that? Absolutely not. obviously has panties in a bunch based on what the judge has said. You should be able to get parallel parenting at the least. Sole custody is child abuse. Don't consent to it. You _will_ regret it.

keep in mind the courts argue they do not give custody to mothers the majority of the time and it's the fathers themselves that give it up. Go to trial and if your not worth of a parent to have involvement in your kids let the trial judge be the one to make that call so that you fought tooth and nail for your kids before your kids eyes. If I ever gave up custody of my kids because of what some monkey in a court room said I would not be able to look at my kids in the eyes and tell them that I love them.
I find this very interesting and would appreciate reading anything relating to this.

I believe that your lawyer was correct in giving you fair warning that you may not be successful in trial. That is the prudent thing for a lawyer to do.

I'd recommend taking a break from everything and clear your head. Then go back and review submissions, pretending that you are the judge. Then you simply ask yourself how you would rule if you were a judge?
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  #73 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2017, 09:00 PM
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Is it possible to decide on a gradual increase in access for now than save custody issues for further down the road?

Such as in interim order? Or is it likely the courts would want the whole thing settled?

We are waiting on a proposal from the other side. From what I gather it will offer a gradual increase to every other weekend with sole custody to mother with some consideration the the father in decisions (whatever the heck that means...essentially sole)
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Old 06-28-2017, 09:05 PM
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I don't know your case personally but from what you have posted here I'd say stay the course. You, yourself, state you are a loving and caring father.

Sometimes you have to put your trust in the judge.

I'd look at getting things settled once and for all.

I think the minute you give into sole custody you are hooped. Particularly with mother having majority of decision-making.

What are the major obstacles to you getting shared custody? I don't want to read back through your numerous posts (although I would have read them before so simply refresh us please).

Isn't your ex a nut-job? Why would you want your child raised solely by a nut-job?
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Old 06-28-2017, 09:07 PM
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I find this very interesting and would appreciate reading anything relating to this.

I believe that your lawyer was correct in giving you fair warning that you may not be successful in trial. That is the prudent thing for a lawyer to do.

I'd recommend taking a break from everything and clear your head. Then go back and review submissions, pretending that you are the judge. Then you simply ask yourself how you would rule if you were a judge?
Read "The child custody book - how to protect your children and win your case" written by judge Judge James W. Staurt. It is in the section where he addresses the concern of bias in courts.

A good lawyer should always give warnings to cover their own butt. There are no gauarntees in family court. That being said, it's not unreasonable to oppose sole custody and seek parallel parenting.

Last edited by trinton; 06-28-2017 at 09:24 PM.
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  #76 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2017, 09:08 PM
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If you feel that you are an equally capable parent and want to share custody then fight for it.

Simple

Your ex would have to show why you are incapable.
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  #77 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2017, 09:11 PM
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My ex is a good mother. I've never argued any of that. She has a serious distaste for me mostly brought on by the court process.

She has attacked previous mental health problems of what's said in my documents of minor/moderate anxiety which has been dealt and over with.

I've been held to 3 hours a week supervised (her decision to make things difficult)

Ocl was requested my my ex. My previous lawyer suggested we take it on because I had nothing to hide. After all was done ocl recommended sole. That I take parenting courses. That I continue on going counselling to deal with stress management.

All in all her main area has been attacking my mental health. Than she got fuel from the ocl and our recent settlement case.

It's now been scheduled for a speak to at the end of August
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  #78 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2017, 09:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Dad1985 View Post
My ex is a good mother. I've never argued any of that. She has a serious distaste for me mostly brought on by the court process.

She has attacked previous mental health problems of what's said in my documents of minor/moderate anxiety which has been dealt and over with.

I've been held to 3 hours a week supervised (her decision to make things difficult)

Ocl was requested my my ex. My previous lawyer suggested we take it on because I had nothing to hide. After all was done ocl recommended sole. That I take parenting courses. That I continue on going counselling to deal with stress management.

All in all her main area has been attacking my mental health. Than she got fuel from the ocl and our recent settlement case.

It's now been scheduled for a speak to at the end of August

Get into counselling and start taking those parenting courses so you have something to show the judge by your trial date. Avoid any and all conflict and cooperate and communite with her and document as much of it as you can. produce evidence that you are able to get along but she is intentionally withelding her cooperation to oppose joint custody.

You can settle access issues and litigate custody - if other parent agrees. You can also file interim motion to secure access terms custody pending trial. That being said other parent will likely turn around and ask for interim sole custody.

let her continue attacking your mental health. it will make her look bad if you have evidence from mental health professionals that you are perfectly fit parent.

Last edited by trinton; 06-28-2017 at 09:21 PM.
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  #79 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2017, 09:21 PM
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I've taken three different parenting courses thus far. I've gone to weekly counselling for the past 5 weeks which I may cut down to a monthly/biweekly thing as it's nice to talk to someone but nothing has changed much as weeks go on.

The mother has essentially told me that she wants me to be apart of her daughter's life and wants to transition her slowly to more access. She has said she will be proposing sole. I don't want to give up on joint/shared but this has been bad news for me all along the way
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  #80 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2017, 09:25 PM
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I wouldn't give up. If you want shared custody and you are certain that you can fulfill your parenting responsibilities then I can't imaging why you would not pursue it. What you do today will impact the rest of your life. This is serious stuff. Now is not the time to be intimidated. On the other hand, if you harbor deep, dark secrets and are incapable of caring for a child then definitely step back.

only you know the answer to this.
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