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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 03:09 PM
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This case sounds cut and dry to me.

Your ex unilaterally and abruptly cut your child out of your life.


Somehow it feels like this has never been realized. I do dwell on the other sides constant bashing though which i need to stop. I need to keep in confidence the one person who did acknowledge this happenening......The Judge.

You dont need conferences my friend....you need a motion. If that doesn't work...a trial.


I think she may be that stubborn that an oppurtunity to settle and an endorsement from the judge in my favour will still cause her to go to trial
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 03:40 PM
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^^ What LF32 said about maximum contact principle . The OCL case worker is ridiculous to suggest you only have 4 hours with your kid. I wouldn't even look at them if they made such suggestion against me. I wouldn't consider them humans. I would consider them useless morons. Manipulative and biased.

1. Don't settle on those terms.
2. Dispute OCL report
3. Request gradual alternated FULL weekends and day access
4. Request EQUAL sharing of the holidays
5. Push it to a trial

And make sure you don't consent to sole custody to mom - unless you want to consent to not being worthy enough of a parent (or important enough to have a say in the decisions surrounding your child.)

Educate yourself on offset child support as well - maybe not at this time but definitely in the next 6 months or so where 50/50 would be in your child's best interests - it already is but it would be too much time all at once - it needs to be given to you gradually.

Don't let them bully you into this just another paycheck / visitor status. You are as equally entitled to custody and you are as equally entitled to equal access as the other parent. Get the OCL report tossed out of the window. I think an impartial judge would toss it out regardless. 4 hours of access a week is just too ridiculous.

Just Pause and think about it.. 4 hours a week with your child. LOL


Last edited by trinton; 05-09-2017 at 03:54 PM.
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  #33 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 07:01 PM
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1. Don't settle on those terms.
2. Dispute OCL report
3. Request gradual alternated FULL weekends and day access
4. Request EQUAL sharing of the holidays
5. Push it to a trial


Really looking for the judges endorsement on this. Kinda got kicked while im down on the OCL report.

Ive obtained my first aid, signed up to online parenting courses (Read the recommendation afterwards. Still going to look for in person courses as well).
Going to se a counselor on Friday (Again, signed up through work assistance) but will likely use benefits to speak to a psychologist. I've kept a journal of my daughters visit and will continue to add as she comes over. Have a car seat. bed. own room.

Am I missing anything to make this concrete?
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad1985 View Post
1. Don't settle on those terms.
2. Dispute OCL report
3. Request gradual alternated FULL weekends and day access
4. Request EQUAL sharing of the holidays
5. Push it to a trial


Really looking for the judges endorsement on this. Kinda got kicked while im down on the OCL report.

Ive obtained my first aid, signed up to online parenting courses (Read the recommendation afterwards. Still going to look for in person courses as well).
Going to se a counselor on Friday (Again, signed up through work assistance) but will likely use benefits to speak to a psychologist. I've kept a journal of my daughters visit and will continue to add as she comes over. Have a car seat. bed. own room.

Am I missing anything to make this concrete?

Yeah trash those online courses and find in person sessions. Just search "parenting courses" on google and first few results should be local organizations. I've taken lots - you get to meet lots of separated parents (many in similar situations ) and you get a chance to share your knowledge and learn from them , and of course from the instructor themselves.

Find out who your child's doctors, dentist, etc are and speak to them, introduce yours self, ask how child is doing, etc.
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  #35 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 08:06 PM
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Ive made an appointment with her doctor for next Thursday to discuss her medical records
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  #36 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 10:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad1985 View Post
Ive made an appointment with her doctor for next Thursday to discuss her medical records
and dont be afraid to ask for copies of all records including clinical notes.
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  #37 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 11:11 PM
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and dont be afraid to ask for copies of all records including clinical notes.

I of course want to know about my daughters health....but should I also hold onto them to show I have been active with her health?
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  #38 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2017, 12:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad1985 View Post
and dont be afraid to ask for copies of all records including clinical notes.

I of course want to know about my daughters health....but should I also hold onto them to show I have been active with her health?
sure. plus you can find lots of information to use against them. i found pattern of child losing weight and mom getting referral to coubsellir to suggest I was disparaging child AND i have records showing I took child to appointments when she was toddler and I had access. plus you have a right to have them. make a binder and put all documents in there. section for report cards etc. I have every single document with my daugbters name on it all organized in binders.

will you find something in there to discret ocl access terms? probably not but you never know what you will find in there. dont rush to read them at doctors ask for your own copies to take home. then make copies and provide to your lawyer. if lawyer refuses to release them to you like my childs doctor did to me even when consent was provided from other parent forcing me to bring forward a motion then you have a valid reason as why you should have joint custody - to avoid having to bring motions and go through other parent every time you want access to records.

Last edited by trinton; 05-10-2017 at 12:37 AM.
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  #39 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2017, 01:03 AM
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One thing is...other than keeping our daughter away from her father...she is a competent mother.
I've never said anything along the way to attack her parenting.
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  #40 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2017, 07:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad1985 View Post
One thing is...other than keeping our daughter away from her father...she is a competent mother.
I've never said anything along the way to attack her parenting.
Very smart. I took the high road also. In court I would say often "I will always respect and promote mom's role in D5's life".

When allegations were made I would simply ask if she had proof, and if not politely ask that we move to the next issue.

No VERBAL JIU JITSU! That's what OP wants...to get you defensive and arguing.

Your biggest problem is that I don't think you have documented proof saying "Hell No .. I'm an equal parent. You can't do this to our child. Allow me to be an equal parent or we go to court". I really wish you had that in writing.

But then again, during the moments we have no clue we're preparing for court. We don't know about family law and how we need exhibits and documents. The fact that you're in court should be good enough reason to show the judge you've never consented. (Use that in court \when she says you consented through acquiescence .. and she will say that).

Your ex has a problem. Know what it is? She unilaterally cut access on an allegation. BUT..didn't contact CAS or anyone else. If she was so concerned about the child's health under your care she should have called CAS instead of playing gatekeeper god. (Use that in court too ... minus the term gatekeeper god).

Bu yes...it would seem that your issue is it may appear as if you consented to all of this...and this is what she will say in court. You wont be able to prove her wrong without documentation.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-10-2017 at 08:02 AM.
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