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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #101 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2017, 04:16 PM
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What was the status quo _PRIOR_ to the separation ? Where you guys married or living together with child ? Were you an equal parent ?

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[14] The status quo is the one that existed prior to separation and not what is created after separation. See Kimpton v. Kimpton, 2002 CanLII 2793 (ON SC), 2002 CanLII 2793 (S.C.J.)
You have every Sunday or every other?
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  #102 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2017, 04:39 PM
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My daughter recently turned 2.
Her mother decided she didn't want to be with me 2 weeks after our daughter was born. She mentioned she wanted to live with her parents after our daughter was born. A months before her birth I started moving my stuff into her parents house. So I was loosely living when them. We wete together for almost 10 years but never lived together during our relationship
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  #103 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2017, 04:56 PM
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Right now I have every Sunday from 230 to 630

The judge said she thinks I should get more time now.
So I asked for 12-8

Ex responded it won't work and responded with an extra hour. I asked for more...she said 15 min. Reasoning to this that it doesn't work with our daughter's schedule and the transition has to be slow.

There is no court order for anything
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  #104 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2017, 05:27 PM
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Why not something more realistic like I'd like to start having our daughter with me every other weekend on Saturday and Sunday from 10am to 5pm for a couple of months and see how that goes.
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  #105 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2017, 05:51 PM
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So you've never had a chance to be a proper parent. You had begun the process of moving in with the mother during the pregnancy with the intention of being a fully involved father, and then she broke up with you right after the child was born and has controlled/monitored your access like a dictatorial gatekeeper ever since.

You need to make the point that you are not a sperm donor and intend to be an equal parent in your child's life. You do not need supervision; like all first-time parents you will master the learning curve if given a chance. You are not a stranger to the child; she has seen you weekly for her whole life and understands you are her father. A child being introduced to full-time daycare at one year old after maternity leave finishes happens much less gradually than your ex is suggesting for you.

Ask for joint custody, because you deserve just as much input into your child's future as her mother does.

Ask for full Sundays to start with, progressing to overnights, then to full alternating weekends within a reasonable schedule, say six months to a year. Then a plan to have 50-50 access by adding extra days around the time she starts school or something. Present a plan that considers both the desire for a gradual introduction but the expectation that it will go well. It's important to look organized and reasonable.

As for her not being able to accommodate extra hours on Sunday because of her schedule, that's ridiculous. There is nothing more important in the child's life than for her to have a reasonable amount of time with her father in order to get to know him.

Have you been fighting this for the whole two years?? Are there any valid reasons for you not to have joint custody and lengthy access?
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  #106 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2017, 06:11 PM
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As much as I can go and ask for things it's not happening. Were in the court process and she's being fully endorsed.

I started the court process about 4-5 months in and made my position clear I'm looking for shared. My previous lawyer didn't push things much and I have hired a new one since.

She has gone off about previous mental health issues with mild to moderate anxiety. Also explained me to be suicidal that I have documentation stating otherwise.

After the ocl, she went to agree that I have some kind of underlying stress. She recommended I seek counselling for stress involving the situation. Lol somehow im supposed to be ok with all this.
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  #107 (permalink)  
Old 06-30-2017, 09:58 PM
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I've been fighting it since my daughter was about 4-5 months when I realized things were going to go this way.


We are now waiting on a proposal offer that will counter our settlement offer. I'm sure the gradual increaae will be slow and long. It will also ask for sole
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  #108 (permalink)  
Old 07-13-2017, 04:08 PM
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Do we have to come up with a final agreement or else go straight to trial?

I'm not really looking to agree on sole. Given my daughter is young the courts have not agreed to shared.

Is it something I can build some more access time and revisit custody once she is 4 or 5?
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