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-   -   OCL Recommendations - What to do now? (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/ocl-recommendations-what-do-now-21007/)

Dad1985 05-08-2017 01:06 PM

OCL Recommendations - What to do now?
 
Hello All

Ive been reading this forum for some time now and have followed threads under topics of OCL, Shared Custody, and Family law.

Recently, we had our OCL disclosure meeting held with the clinician and both parties involved. Unfortunantly, the recommendations did not go at all as i thought it would be. OCL recommended sole custody to the mother with 4 hours of unsupervised access on the weekend to continue for the next 6 months. The mother was asked to work with me going forward after that. It was suggest that I (the father) take parenting courses as well seek counsiling for this stressful situation.

The opposite parrty has continued to bring up past issues of mental health (Mild Anxiety) to use againt me. The issues have all been backed and cleared by medical professionals as dealt with and over.

My concerns are now, Is this something that can be disputed? Does this leave me in poor position? how much will the judge consider the OCL?

My overall goal is for shared parenting/access and have offered any means to do so (Change my work schedule, Moved close by, Paid full child support.
My Lawyer has suggested we first dispute OCL report once available. Secondly, that we put together a reasonable settlement offer that the Judge shouldnt find any reason to no endorse.

Please help as realistically i would like to avoid trial.

Thanks

DAD!

trinton 05-08-2017 02:20 PM

You're not going to avoid a trial with that OCL report. Be rested assure that the mother of your child now has now gotten her panties in a bunch. You'll need to discrete it and go to trial. I wouldn't agree to those terms. Seems your lawyer is on right track.

Search the forums for "OCL" and just read : https://www.google.ca/?gws_rd=ssl#q=...awadivorce.com

WD has destroyed an OCL report on his own. Without sharing details and what you don't agree with you won't be able to get much help. Read WD's case and the "fluffy" case.

Your lawyer should be able to tell you what is reasonable and what is ridiculous in the recommendation. Go to trial if you have to. Don't agree to that 4 hour non sense.

Your best course is to delay and delay and delay to "outdate" the report. It may take so long to get to trial that you may be able to ask for a fresh OCL report- that may recommend something completely different. Take as many parenting classes as you possibly can and have regular counselling sessions in the meantime.

Dad1985 05-08-2017 02:28 PM

Thanks for your reply Trinton.
Reading over i may have not been clear
Mother - Recommended Sole custody to mother.
Father - recommended 4 hours of unsupervised access to take place on the weekend (for the next 6 months). Parenting courses. Counsiling to deal with stress of the situation.
The current schedule is 2 hours at a play centre (Supervises) 1 hour at the mall (Supervised.)

My ex went in line with the OCL recommendations and granted the 4 hours this past sunday. We worked well together to communicate the exchange. She was fed, taken care of, and loved as expected. Although im concerned this is just to show her following of OCL.

My laywer was prepared to put an interim access order in place although although since the time was granted at will, has decided not to. My lawyer sees this time as oppurtinity to develop new status quo and show im a perfectly competent parent.

standing on the sidelines 05-08-2017 02:36 PM

If you are willing to do anything then have you signed up or even looked for parenting classes??

Dad1985 05-08-2017 02:41 PM

Yes.
I've obtained a counsilor through my work assisstance program.
I will be meeting with 2 different services in my area to discuss which options are best suitable. Although of course i would like to take as many as possible.

The other party brought up in the first case conference that i did not have parenting classes. The judge was not pleased at all with the other party and responded "Has your client taken parenting courses?". The answer being no. The judge responded she did not find it nesscessary for me. Regardless, I should have still been proactive. The courses will only help my parenting abilities and my case.

Dad1985 05-08-2017 02:47 PM

two different parenting programs.

Dad1985 05-08-2017 03:23 PM

"Your lawyer should be able to tell you what is reasonable and what is ridiculous in the recommendation. Go to trial if you have to. Don't agree to that 4 hour non sense."

After our OCL disclosure meeting, my lawyer and i discussed the recommendations. My lawyer only sees the 6 month 4 hour plan as causing us to go back to court in 6 months.

We will have to wait for the full report in 2-3 weeks and look at what the root causes for the decision are. The root causes that i can think of are:

1) Work Schedule (mon - thur 4 pm - 3 am) - Although i have alternative options such as fri, sat, sun. Leaving me open for mon to thur all day.

2) Mental Health - All mental health issues have been dealt with through medical professionals. They were never listed as severe. As well I have provided current medical records showing im fine.

3) High Conflict communication - We were together for 10 years and my ex has kept text conversations as long as 3 years ago. We are able to communicate although my ex has portrayed me in a bad light. I've read the suggestion for parallel parenting in this case.

We will have to wait till the report is out before we can determine what should be disputed.

Tayken 05-08-2017 03:57 PM

Reason 390482498320948 to avoid the OCL.

LovingFather32 05-08-2017 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dad1985 (Post 220331)
1) Work Schedule (mon - thur 4 pm - 3 am) - Although i have alternative options such as fri, sat, sun. Leaving me open for mon to thur all day.

2) Mental Health - All mental health issues have been dealt with through medical professionals. They were never listed as severe. As well I have provided current medical records showing im fine.

3) High Conflict communication - We were together for 10 years and my ex has kept text conversations as long as 3 years ago. We are able to communicate although my ex has portrayed me in a bad light. I've read the suggestion for parallel parenting in this case.

We will have to wait till the report is out before we can determine what should be disputed.

I had a very bad experience with OCL.

I also had a very good CAS report, outlining how the OCL was basically a nutjob, pointing out inconsistencies in my ex's stories, etc.

Do you have competing documentation (CAS, Psych assessments, etc).

You're doing the right thing by fighting the report. Once I received my OCL document, I went point for point, rebutting (with evidence) how it made no sense.

DO NOT wait to rebut this. I think they give you one month or so. There's a special document to refute it.

Not only did I fill out that form, but I also enclosed the CAS documents in the package to OCL headquarters. But I was silly to think it would do anything. They all just stuck together .. so don't expect them to even listen.

However, it's not the OCL headquarters you care about,...it's your judge.

1. Psych assessments .. all good in the cognitive faculties
2. CAS report, etc (Great dad, great environment, no issues)
3. Clean police report/drug testing (if thats an allegation .. usually is)
4. Unbelievable PARENTING PLAN (leave no stone unturned).

# 4 is where you will outline every minute of your 50/50 time with the child, including your work schedules, support systems, etc. Show how will work.

Text messages? Couples argue and texts are very easily manipulated. Unless you said you were going to kill her and the kids or kidnap them you shouldn't be worried.

Yes you can do parallel parenting. Judges are used to hearing...He/she can't be a parent because I wont talk nicely to them..lol

You can also add an extra step and order www.ourfamilywizard.com .. that way all communication is organized recorded .. .the thing even has a "tone meter".

Your main objective here is to have the OCL report tossed out the window by doing some of the above (like my judge did). Let the judge know that he/she is a much better candidate to decide the fate of custody for the children as he/she will be the one properly analyzing the evidence in a careful, unbiased manner.

Dad1985 05-08-2017 05:29 PM

Do you have competing documentation (CAS, Psych assessments, etc).
Yes. I have a letter from my clinician from the mental health clinic I went to for mild anxiety. She has written that I successfully went and dealt with my issues at the file has been closed since. She included a discharge note (wasn't in a mental hospital just went for counseling). I also have a letter from my current family doctor that there has been no concerns and have shown good health since.
DO NOT wait to rebut this. I think they give you one month or so. There's a special document to refute it.

The disclosure meeting was may 5th. The report will be sent in 2-3 weeks. My Lawyer is aware of my position and will be disputing the necessary areas.

1. Psych assessments .. all good in the cognitive faculties
2. CAS report, etc (Great dad, great environment, no issues)
3. Clean police report/drug testing (if thats an allegation .. usually is)
4. Unbelievable PARENTING PLAN (leave no stone unturned).

1) see above
2) CAS has never been involved.
3) Clean record. No police reports ever. no allegations
4) This is where ill have to put some stuff together. unfortunanly, when the judge suggested I did not need parenting courses, I kinda sat back. Parenting courses will only benefit me. My recent unsupervised time went really well and my lawyer has advised I keep a journal. I have my own home close to my daughter, she has a room, food, clothes, toys, love.

The other side requested OCL and my PREVIOUS lawyer suggested we just take it on because there is nothing to hide. Now here we end up with a one sided OCL.


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