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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2014, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I am just going to give my opinion on this... I know the therapist thing has been talked about in length already but with joint custody, does it REALLY matter if everything is agreed upon in advance? In this situation a therapist had been used in the past and thus was assumed to be the child's therapist. It would be the same as a doctor or dentist, does one parent really need to contact the other parent and ask if they are still okay to use that doctor/dentist? I think that is rather silly. Doesn't seem worth fighting about.

My step kids have some dental work that needs done. It is assumed they will see the same dentist they have in the past. Mom doesn't even really inform my partner of the appointments... as long as the kids are getting looked after that is great. It isn't a joint decision to take the kids to the dentist every time, it is just assumed that because they need this work done, they will be taken to have it done. We would not accuse her of not following the agreement because she didn't inform us before hand... that is creating conflict, rather than working together.

Anyways, back to the original post, keep pushing for shared parenting like you have been doing. Let the ex look like an ass for pursuing sole custody because he is a hot head.
Totally agree with you, I figured it was the same as a doc or dentist appointment no one needs to consult the other when those appointments are made.
Anyways moving on, I will continue to fight for joint, I strongly believe that the children have right to both parents and that as parents we both have the right to be involved in their lives.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2014, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
So are you saying you expect your ex to ask your permission before making a dentist appointment with the same dentist you have used over the years, in the chance you may one day change your mind?

Again, silly and creating conflict if that is what you expect. It is like the whole status quo thing, this has been the norm in the past, why all the sudden would it change?

I guess we are just not up to creating conflict when none has to exist. We have enough drama and this is just one of those, pick your battles type of things.
Totally not my point.

All I'm saying is assumptions can lead to miscommunication which can lead to conflict.

An assumption between two separated/divorced parents is an easy way to a fight that can escalate quickly just like what happened to the OP.

That's all I am saying.

My ex and I did have a conversation about dentists, doctors etc so that there were no assumptions. Although my ex is high conflict so I pretty much confirm all important decisions ahead of time... CYA....
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2014, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Mommy2 View Post
Totally agree with you, I figured it was the same as a doc or dentist appointment no one needs to consult the other when those appointments are made.
Anyways moving on, I will continue to fight for joint, I strongly believe that the children have right to both parents and that as parents we both have the right to be involved in their lives.
Personally, I think a therapist is a much more important decision than a dentist or doctor.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2014, 02:35 PM
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Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
Personally, I think a therapist is a much more important decision than a dentist or doctor.
Possibly but when the child was there in the past for the same issues, it just makes sense for them to continue seeing the same therapist that treated them and know their history.

Unfortunately, those parents who deny their children the right to see a therapist are usually afraid of what the child will say.
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Old 03-18-2014, 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Possibly but when the child was there in the past for the same issues, it just makes sense for them to continue seeing the same therapist that treated them and know their history.

Unfortunately, those parents who deny their children the right to see a therapist are usually afraid of what the child will say.
Agreed, if that therapist was working well for the child.

I've spent a lot of time looking for resources for my son, and it really depends on the interaction between the therapist and the patient.

Whereas a dentist is a mouth mechanic.....

If there was an existing relationship and both parents were aware, then I would agree that one parent can go ahead and schedule appointments.
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Old 03-18-2014, 03:57 PM
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If there was an existing relationship and both parents were aware, then I would agree that one parent can go ahead and schedule appointments.
Understandably so, what is your opinion on a parent who unilaterally decided after 5 years that they were the only one to make appointments going forward ? Take into consideration that this occurred after that parent retained a lawyer and unilaterally cancelled an important medical check up because it was the other parent who took the child and booked the follow ups? Also take into consideration that the child is only 5 years old. Also take into consideration that this parent started to make firm statements like " I am the primary " (this behavior started after retaining a lawyer)
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