Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 03-14-2014, 10:54 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Waterloo, Ontario
Posts: 28
Mommy2 is on a distinguished road
Default The OCL is now involved

He is going for sole custody and I am asking for the status quo to stay in place (two over nights per week and every other weekend) and to keep our shared parenting plan in place.

We went to court and he keeps speaking on behalf of the children (age 8 and 4) stating what is in their best interest. Our request for the OCL to be involved was granted even though he again stated to the judge that it is not in their best interest.

What is everyone's experience with the OCL? I am only asking that the children keep the arrangement in place as is and that they have become accustomed to, will the OCL really be swayed to the other side?
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 03-14-2014, 10:56 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Dorking
Posts: 347
KeepSmiling is on a distinguished road
Default

The Judge has approved OCL, but has the OCL accepted the case. They are busy and not always accept every case that comes to them.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 03-15-2014, 03:04 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,587
Serene is on a distinguished road
Default

Why are asking that the access schedule be kept? They can grow accustomed to most any schedule... what is the logic in keeping the other parent from having a meaningful relationship with his children 50 percent of the time? Why is it in the kids best interest to have their dad on xx amount of time versus half the time?
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 03-15-2014, 07:16 AM
paco's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 274
paco is on a distinguished road
Default

That's right, 50/50 is the best for kids.

Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 03-15-2014, 09:20 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,048
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

I read that differently. The OP wants to keep shared custody, which in this case the ex has 43% of the time. The Ex is asking for sole custody, which really has nothing to do with access.

Seeing as they already have shared parenting, don't foresee the OCL swaying eithr way unless one of them is unfit. However, as a compromise OP and to hopefully avoid more court time. Why not send an offer of 50-50 access and joint custody?
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 03-15-2014, 10:32 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,587
Serene is on a distinguished road
Default

That's why I'm asking the questions. Its not clear to me.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2014, 10:44 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Waterloo, Ontario
Posts: 28
Mommy2 is on a distinguished road
Default

We already have 50/50 or as close as possible and have asked for joint but the ex refuses and tried for a motion for change, that's when the judge asked for the OCL to get involved.

The file has not been accepted as of yet, but the judge did ask if possible for the OCL to have tier recommendation/review complete before our next court date, I guess we'll just wait and see if that will be a possibility.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2014, 10:52 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,048
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2 View Post
We already have 50/50 or as close as possible and have asked for joint but the ex refuses and tried for a motion for change, that's when the judge asked for the OCL to get involved.

The file has not been accepted as of yet, but the judge did ask if possible for the OCL to have tier recommendation/review complete before our next court date, I guess we'll just wait and see if that will be a possibility.
Seeing as you already have shared parenting, what has your custody arrangement been so far? Have you both been consulting each other on joint decisions? If you have no signed agreement then you both have joint custody.

The fact that your ex is pushing for sole custody, may show that he is unable to cooperate. I would stick with your offer of joint custody and frame it in the best interest of the children. It is best to have both parents involved in decisions regarding the children, you don't think either parent is any more important than the other, thus joint allows both parents to be equally involved. Let him push for sole and have to justify why. You will come out as the more reasonable parent and may even find sole awarded to you if your ex takes this too far.
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2014, 12:35 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Waterloo, Ontario
Posts: 28
Mommy2 is on a distinguished road
Default

I have tried to be sure to include him, but every time I get push back and an argument, always no matter what. But I do not start anything with letting him know before hand, in most cases it results in having to cancel or not do anything because of the fight I get each time.

Regardless, I strongly believe that children have the right to both parents. and that as parents we have the right to joint decision making. From the start I have only ever asked for joint, he's asked for sole twice (before court) both times we walked out with a shared parenting plan.... I will stick to my beliefs that both parents and children have the right to be with each other and that as a parent we both have the right to decide what is best for our children.

I have wondered about asking for primary so that I can reduce the emotional stress for our boys but I thought since our status quo was already in place for a year that I wouldn't have much of a chance. Maybe the OCL could help me with that.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2014, 06:45 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,587
Serene is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
I have wondered about asking for primary so that I can reduce the emotional stress for our boys but I thought since our status quo was already in place for a year that I wouldn't have much of a chance. Maybe the OCL could help me with that.
I think I am missing something here - what emotional stress? How would the children be emotionally affected by joint or sole custody unless you are arguing or involving the children in this battle?
Quote:
I have tried to be sure to include him, but every time I get push back and an argument, always no matter what. But I do not start anything with letting him know before hand, in most cases it results in having to cancel or not do anything because of the fight I get each time.
Be very careful with this as a judge could read this very differently. I realize I don't know you situation at all but we had this very issue come up: Mom said she "advised" dad. Well advising dad and allowing dad to make an informed decision are two very different things.

And letting him know before hand - also subjective as that does not mean he was involved as he should be... again I don't know your situation but surface involvement does not constitute real involvement.

Sometimes we talk ourselves a good story and think we are being complacent with advising the other parent. The comments about sparing the kids the emotional burden of this make me think there are pieces of the puzzle missing.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
OCL taking really, really long to decide to get involved. plainNamedDad44 Divorce Support 2 11-15-2013 06:30 PM
father doesn't want to be involved 880912 Divorce & Family Law 6 10-30-2012 12:45 PM
Will OCL Decide to Become Involved for Increase of Access? Access Dad Divorce & Family Law 3 12-15-2011 10:23 PM
OCL now involved dadforlife Divorce & Family Law 4 02-20-2010 07:18 PM
Keeping and Caring for my daughter without CAS getting involved!! info1 Divorce & Family Law 10 11-13-2009 05:12 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:34 AM.