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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 01:00 AM
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I had asked him to simply drop off a walmart gift card to my employment but he refused. Hindsight is 20/20 and if I could do it over again I would have simply sent her to school with no supplies rather than to have her witness that.

I'm not exaggerating when I said I was broke. I do regret it, but there's nothing I can do now. I really thought it would be ok since I believed access would be resuming.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 01:01 AM
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(Oopsie, accidentally posted the same thing twice)
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 03:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlemommy View Post
My ex wants the OCL involved.

He was ordered to have supervised access at a centre two years ago but refused the intake process. It was clear by the judge that the only contact he can have with DD is at a centre. He has asked to have family supervise but the judge said no as there needs to be an unbiased third party.

I am fine with having the OCL involved, DD (now age 4) is a very happy, well adjusted child.

It is my understanding that the OCL needs to view the child interact with both parents to make a decision on access. How can they determine this if ex refused access? Is there a chance they won't take on the case?

The reason he is asking for it is because he is accusing me of PA.
If two judges have ordered your ex to have supervised access with an unbiased third party and there was extensive CAS involvement, it would be VERY surprising that a third judge would go against them and attempt to involve the OCL.

Your ex has had two years to get over himself and still hasn't been cooperative in completing the intake process so he could see his child regularly and maintain a relationship with her despite his discomfort at being told what to do and how.

Many parents don't like what the court orders, but those that suck it up and do what they are asked to get a lot further than those who try circumventing a judges order by slinging more mud.

Even if the judge allows your ex to make an application to the OCL, that is no guarantee that the OCL would agree to go to take the case.

Judges know when one party is blowing smoke and attempting to bully the other and usually don't like it at all.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 03:32 PM
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What kind of parent would go that long without seeing their kid?

If the access CTR was my only option I would've been first in line. It's temporary anyways. This guy would probably have regular, unsupervised access by now if he simply followed the order and dealt with the ctr. Boggles my mind.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 06:07 PM
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I forgot to mention that he is asking for unsupervised access as well as the OCL.

My lawyer laughed and shook her head at that.

So, what grounds can the OCL have for denying involvement?
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 08:35 PM
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My catstrophically brain damaged ex assaulted the kids. CAS want him to have permanent supervised access. They closed the file because in their words " you are doing everything right and we are only there for parents who don't". In other words, despite the gravity of the situation they are not going to waste resources supporting a parent who "does everything right ". They throw you and your kids to the wolves. They did say on the off chance the court awarded him unsupervised, they would step in.

My ex also requested unsupervused access ( despite the fact there is professionals documenting he needs 24/7 care himself).

I have no faith in the court system whatsoever, in any way shape or form. Do not delude yourself into thinking your ex does not stand a chance of getting unsupervused access. The courts don't just screw innocent parents accused of abuse. They also on occasion reward abusive parents.

You need to be aware that the current mandate in the Canadian family court system is unsupervised access at any cost . supervised access is considered a temporary thing with the courts working towards unsupervised in ALL cases!
The exception is if the CAS have apprehended the children from both parents . Oddly enough the courts are then prone to go to the opposite extreme where supervised access is terminated and the children are made crown wards with no access to either parent.

Do not for a moment think
the OCL or a private assessor is your friend or will see the truth. They are human too and can be biased one way or the other.

Do not trust any lawyer ( even your own ) or any judge in family court. It's only a job to them and if they make a fatal mistake ... Oops...next case please..,
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 08:39 PM
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Great. Now I'm scared shitless all over again.

It was my understanding that no judge would put their neck on the line when there is risk of abuse. If the child is abused again because of awarded unsupervised access then it is the fault of the judge who allowed it.

At least according to my lawyer. Who is really amazing.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
Do not for a moment think
the OCL or a private assessor is your friend or will see the truth. They are human too and can be biased one way or the other.
StillBreathing's right. Be very careful with OCL's. I'm trying not to be too subjective .. but .. just be careful! They can turn your life upsidedown real fast!
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 08:45 PM
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I really don't have anything to hide. DD is so happy, so well adjusted, so loved by everyone in her life. I am confident in my parenting skills, I have done everything possible to ensure her safety and happiness.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2015, 08:46 PM
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But I'll ask again:

What grounds would OCL use to deny accepting a case?
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