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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-13-2013, 03:51 PM
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Default OCL Disclosure Meeting

Hi,
Just got a call from OCL re Discolosure meeting set up for 1st week of March.
I don't have a lawyer - Is that someone I should have on my side ?
At the disclosure meeting, does that mean it gets settled or is it just her recommendation. And I do/don't agree with her recommendation, what next ?
Also, at this disclosure meeting - does that mean that if we settle - that's it. And if we don't - does that mean we automatically go to trial ?

I'm fighting for sole custody .
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Old 02-13-2013, 04:45 PM
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Why are you fighting for sole custody?
OCL recommendations are just that, recommendations.
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Old 02-13-2013, 04:48 PM
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Go to the meeting, and don't say much.

Accept whatever outcome the OCL presents as their findings. Don't be too over-joyed if it is your favour, nor become agitated if it is not.

As much as they are presenting their findings - the process is not over. Your actions at the discolsure meeting are still being considered by the OCL investigator.

Do not argue with the OCL, the other side, or anyone.
Simply say "Thanks for your work." and then leave.

You may wish to try and come to settlement as a result of their findings, but do so after the OCL has left.

All you are there for is to hear what they have to say and accept a copy of the report.

Regardless of their findings - you will still need to complete the trial management process, and then go to trial if need be. Unless, of course you can reach settlement before trial.

I assume you still have settlement conference and trial management conference ahead of you in the stream.

Last edited by wretchedotis; 02-13-2013 at 04:53 PM.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by involveddad75 View Post
Why are you fighting for sole custody?
OCL recommendations are just that, recommendations.
Long and short of it is - Abusive towards both my daughter, and myself.
He refuses to work with me or even answer any emails, correspondence I've sent or work with me to make joint decisions pertaining to our daughter's medical, health, dental, school.

He fights me every step of the way, so that's why I'm asking for sole custody to be able to make the right decisions for her but I also said in my parenting plan proposal that that I would always ask for his input but that the final decision would be mine to make. He wants to have joint custody, but doesn't want to enter into a dialogue about any decisions that have to be made.
As for access - it is currently supervised, but we are working towards unsupervised.
On a note - when I spoke with the OCL - she told me that the info regarding the "history" on my daughter's father, i.e. compelling information from Yellow Brick House etc, was not looked at, but just the "current" people i.e. the family counsellor (who to quote her (the OCL worker) "gave a glowing report about him"). When I asked her wy she didn't look into the YBH reports, she said "I have a very good idea of what the situation is."

I don't want to walk in blind. Hence the question about needing to have a laywer. Or can I just say "thank you" after hearing her report and leave, so that I have time and come back to the table at another time ? Or does it have to be settled on that day ?
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
Go to the meeting, and don't say much.

Accept whatever outcome the OCL presents as their findings. Don't be too over-joyed if it is your favour, nor become agitated if it is not.

As much as they are presenting their findings - the process is not over. Your actions at the discolsure meeting are still being considered by the OCL investigator.

Do not argue with the OCL, the other side, or anyone.
Simply say "Thanks for your work." and then leave.

You may wish to try and come to settlement as a result of their findings, but do so after the OCL has left. (Should I prepare an "Offer to Settle" and send it to his laywer so it can be discussed on this same day ? About outstanding financials etc ? or is that not the correct procedure?. It's hard to get him or his laywer to even reply to any correspondence. They just don't reply)

All you are there for is to hear what they have to say and accept a copy of the report. (OKAY - So I don't have to engage in doing any settlement if I don't want to ? And that I can do it another day ? Is that the correct understanding?)

Regardless of their findings - you will still need to complete the trial management process, and then go to trial if need be. Unless, of course you can reach settlement before trial.

I assume you still have settlement conference and trial management conference ahead of you in the stream.
- ( We haven't had a settlement conference, or trail management conference (not sure what this is) as my ex refuses to discuss anything with me or settle anything.) Right now I'm working on getting the paperwork together to get the courts to impute his income as he will not provide me with his NOA's for the past 3 years. He just refuses to co-operate.)
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:32 PM
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You should prepare an offer to settle. But not for the same day. You don't know the recomendations yet - so that would be presumptious.

Having said that, you should make several offers to settle before you get to trial in general. It looks good on you, assuming they are truly compromising and vaild.

You should research the process of a family law proceeding. I assume you are in Ontario, and am only speaking of Ontario.

In court, an application is filed (and served). Then an answer is filed (and served). Then a response to answer may be filed (and served).

After that you go into the trial management stream. That's probably not the correct 'term'.

The trial management stream consists of court dates for at lease one case conference. There is a 'stream' that is followed.
Case conference
Settlement conference
trial management conference
Purge court
and finally Trial.

You can possible have more than one of each type of conferences, and possibly skip certain conferences. The Justice will dictate the stream.

I'm too lazy to go find the links. Maybe someone else will.
You could always do it yourself.
Go to to Ontario Governments website and search family law.
There you can get a pretty good understanding of the process.

Furhtermore, you should search google for the family law act and learn 'the rules'.

Perhaps you can tell, but I'm saying this a little tongue in cheek.
You should really be doing these without me mentioning them if you want to actually get a handle on what you're facing.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:36 PM
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No response from the other side is not an uncommon practice.

Just document you sent the requests, and save that information for trial if need be.

You can only do what you can do.

Ask once, then twice, then leave it alone.

Things like Financial Disclosure you should bring up at a conference to a judge - and they may order it do be done.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:39 PM
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I don't know lick about you, or your ex.

But I would like to take this opportunity to ask you to REALLY look within yourself - and ask if you are persuing sole custody for the right reasons.

I hate the very concept of sole custody, personally.

Last edited by wretchedotis; 02-13-2013 at 05:53 PM.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
I don't know lick about you, or your ex.

But I would like to take this opportunity to ask you to REALLY look within yourself - and ask if you are persuing sole custody for the right reasons.

I hate the concept of sole custody, personally.
I can honestly say that I have really really looked within myself and I believe that my reasons for sole custody has only to do with the best interest of our child as in her future, her education, decisions surrounding her health and welfare is top priority, and as I've said, I have always asked him for his input, his opinion, before any decision is made, but he choses not to have a dialogue and no communication is forthcoming. I will continue to do my part in asking, even if he does not respond, and I have always ended up having to make the sole decisions, so I suppose it's not any different. I just want it on paper. I am hoping that the OCL will see that it's not about control at my end (as in controlling my ex) but control over what should be done right and in our child's best interest .
I must admit - It would be nice to have a co-parent, but obviously it's not there. After all, we both had a hand in making her, and would have been nice to have both raising her equally, but Wishing doesn't make it happen. I have to work with what I have......and yes, I believe sole custody is the correct choice. Otherwise as a small example, we'll be spending all our time in court (had to do that 3 times) , getting him to even sign a travel document for me to take a weekend away wth our child to visit relatives out of town. And even that, he refused until the judge had to order him to do so.
Thank you though for doing a concience check on me. Always good to do. :-)
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Old 02-14-2013, 09:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
You should prepare an offer to settle. But not for the same day. You don't know the recomendations yet - so that would be presumptious. .
- The offer to settle I was thinking about was regarding outstanding Section 7 etc net equalization which pertains to our child - I was thinking (correct me if I'm wrong) that it might be the opportunity to also deal with that while I've got them at the table at the disclosure meeting ? They don't reply to my requests for NOA's, pay what is owing for the past 3 years...etc, so I thought I'd have it addressed at the Discolosure meeting. Or is that not the correct forum to do it at, since it might be construed as poor taste.
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