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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-18-2014, 12:41 PM
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Default OCL 2nd interview. What to expect ?

I have my 2nd interview with Assessor today and wanted to know what to expect? Is it simular to the first ? Any surprises ?
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Old 03-20-2014, 05:19 PM
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Went through the 2nd interview. WOW. The basis of this interview was to go through anything that has recently happened or to add to any statements but most importantly it was to hear what the ex concerns were and to comment on these concerns.

Wow. My jaw dropped after hearing what my ex had to say. Completely ridiculous accusations and abnormal concerns about my mental and emotional stability. I disposed everything she came up with. You really don't know someone until you go through this. Absolutely ridiculous and without merit.

I am anxiously waiting for the Disclosure meeting.
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Old 03-20-2014, 06:21 PM
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was it a lawyer or a social worker?
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Old 03-22-2014, 02:54 PM
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The assessor is a social worker.
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:45 AM
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what is OCL?
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Old 03-23-2014, 08:40 AM
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Oh I can believe it! We never used OCL but mom really pushed for it. Judge refused as there were no clinical issues and even said "you are both good parents....this isn't a father who takes his kids for pizza EOW...". and that didn't send out the right message as she had accused dad of being a pedophile etc. Even had affidavits to support those claims (not good ones but she did try).

People get desperate. It is the escalation of commitment that takes over. I also think they need to inflict hurt the ex as they think it will bring some relief to their own pain. Its kind of an eye for an eye so to speak.

I know in mediation we brought up all the silly allegations and how all the authorities were pitted against us systematically. I don't know if it ever occurred to her that it was stressful for the kids too. Then again, maybe she didn't care.
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Old 03-27-2014, 04:46 AM
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It is unfortunate Serene. In the end , all of this is for the kids and it's unfortunate that the ex is misguided.

In my case, the ex has presented a boat load of concerns with the ocl. Most of them out of context and the rest where simply false.

The issues I now face is a comment the Assessor posed on me , " how can you have joint custody is communication is this bad". I almost fainted. I explained that communication is only poor now because we are in court and she is trying to establish a false status quo.

It is difficult to sit quietly and patiently and think of our kids while she is throwing knives . I almost feel that she is throwing everything she came at the ocl and I'm here taking them and constantly having to disprove the allegations .


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Old 03-27-2014, 05:39 AM
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I've read many cases where parents don't get along but still have shared custody. In our situation we do our best to not communicate with mom at all. Really, what is there to discuss? Kid is home sick because he has a cold - no further communication necessary.... although I can say that it probably bothers mom that dad doesn't say "oh dear well I hope he is better and you are doting on him blah blah blah" as most times we get a follow up email saying "he is doing better, thanks for asking" (and he didn't ask....).

At the very least suggest parallel parenting.

As the kids get older they can take more responsibility in managing their relationships with their parents. Kids at 6 can bring their birthday invitations to the appropriate parent, etc. So it should become less of an issue as time goes on....
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Old 03-27-2014, 09:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
I've read many cases where parents don't get along but still have shared custody. In our situation we do our best to not communicate with mom at all. Really, what is there to discuss? Kid is home sick because he has a cold - no further communication necessary.... although I can say that it probably bothers mom that dad doesn't say "oh dear well I hope he is better and you are doting on him blah blah blah" as most times we get a follow up email saying "he is doing better, thanks for asking" (and he didn't ask....).

At the very least suggest parallel parenting.

As the kids get older they can take more responsibility in managing their relationships with their parents. Kids at 6 can bring their birthday invitations to the appropriate parent, etc. So it should become less of an issue as time goes on....
Despite extremely poor communication between my ex and I, OCL recommended that 50/50 / joint custody was the way to go. They implemented a schedule that avoided contact between us (ie to school from school).

None of it worked, but it was the OCL recommendation anyway. I have no faith in OCL recommendations as a result of the fiasco it created for me. But, nevertheless, OCL recommended joint custody despite very poor communication.
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Old 03-27-2014, 09:29 AM
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Sorry to hear abt all the hurt and pain you are all going through with OCL. Its the vindictive ex's who make false allegations against good people who ruin it for the "actual" people suffering from abusive situations.

People can make anything up but they have to prove thier case if anyone is going to believe them.

The real abusers get away with murder with manipulation. I believe the liars are in the same category as the abusers. Abusing the system and everyone around them.

For you good people who are facing allegations, stay true to yourself and your children. The truth always comes out!
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