Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 11-06-2017, 02:32 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,225
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

She already has full CS. He is not disputing the schedule in any way, nor looking to change it and is not exercising his access, for quite a while now not just since she asked for an update of CS.

He is being unreasonable in expecting to blow off his schedule with the kid 99% of the time and expecting her to accomodate last minute requests, especially when she has in the past and he has not shown up for those as well.
Reply With Quote
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 11-06-2017, 04:34 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 7
Lemongirl is on a distinguished road
Default

Let me clear this up. I would never ever deny access if support was not paid. In fact when we separated I agreed to less than guideline support plus I offered to pay all of the daycare even though we made roughly the same amount of money. I have asked my ex for financial disclosure for the last 3 years because he got a promotion and he even told me himself he was making more money, but he wouldnít provide it. Him not exercising access has been an ongoing issue over the last 5 years. I have tried to do everything I can to encourage him to see our son. Iíve even spoken to his family to see if they could talk some sense into him but nothing has worked. I simply cannot force a parent to spend time with our son. These are two separate issues. Iím not trying to make him look bad, heís done a good job of that himself. Sorry for causing confusion. I was just trying to get the opinions of others to help me make the best decisions possible for my son.
Reply With Quote
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 11-06-2017, 04:45 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,979
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

For some parents, when they are asked for disclosure they suddenly start making accusations over everything. From what you said, your ex is accusing you of denying access when you say no to a last minute request. Totally different situation. From my experience on this forum, when someone refuses to share documentation, its because they are trying to hide something.

The problem with a forum is that its hard to distinguish what is actually happening with the limited info. It might be good practice though for people doing their own work. What is the relevant info? Dad has access xyz. Dad refuses to exercise his xyz parenting time. Dad has requested abc time instead and in most cases is either last minute or a no show. Is it wrong for me to say no to these continued unreasonable requests. Factual, to the point. Ditto for the financial stuff. I agreed to less than table. Dad has not provided financial disclosure in three years. I have filed a motion for disclosure and updating of cs. What are the next steps. You were right to separate them into two different threads.
Reply With Quote
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 11-07-2017, 04:05 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 84
Doctor Martins is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
Mine calls it "babysitting" to give me a "break". IMO parents dont get a break, nor babysit their children. I often think while reading posts on here where is my 50/50 shared parenting? Why didnt my kids get one of these Dad's?

Dtothree, I hope your filling in some shoes and being a great step-dad!
As someone fighting very hard for shared parenting, please have a talk with my ex.. lol And there are parents who push away other parents with their attempt to use the system to keep them away. Both scenarios are bad and why its heartbreaking that the system makes it hard if a parent wants to limit. They don't realize that the opposite can happen and that a parent can't be compelled to be a parent. Ive daydreamed about how my ex would react if I suddenly just gave up and she got what she supposedly wanted.. would she then come to her senses? Of course I never would because id only hurt my daughter, but I don't think people realize the potential outcomes of these games.

I think communication is always key.. maybe ask the father why he doesn't participate more? Is it just not in his nature or is he taking out some issues he has against you on the child. Definitely needs to grow up but can't make him.. Try and talk is all I can say..
Reply With Quote
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 11-07-2017, 04:14 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 43
kate331 is on a distinguished road
Default

I have just entered the system, so I don't know much about it except what I have read on here. Honestly I thought it was 50/50 in Ontario, until my separation. As to why he doesn't participate more I cant answer for him. I can only guess, that he enjoys his new found freedom without the responsibility of 2 young active children. He is also of European descent and its very much ingrained in him, that its the Mothers roll to raise the young child. We need to bring him up to speed I hope he finds himself on this forum to get some insight into the Fathers out there that share equally in the parenting. Time will tell.
Reply With Quote
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2017, 10:59 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Martins View Post
As someone fighting very hard for shared parenting, please have a talk with my ex.. lol
Sad news: If you are fighting you won't get joint custody.

Furthermore, you need to understand that "shared parenting" is a marketing label mostly. It is only mentioned in the tax code.

You are seeking joint custody and equal access. Shared parenting can imply both but, it isn't great to use. You should qualify it fully. Because you can get a judge that see's shared parenting as equal access and not joint custody. Lots of 50-50 where the custody is assigned to one and only one parent but, access is equal.
Reply With Quote
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2017, 07:25 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Sad news: If you are fighting you won't get joint custody.
There are trials that result in joint custody. So yes, you do have to fight to get joint custody sometimes.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Shared/joint custody cooperation/communication requirement trinton Divorce & Family Law 16 11-14-2016 09:25 PM
ODF beats ILA Rioe Divorce & Family Law 18 01-03-2014 05:40 PM
Co-parenting ----post divorce bearall Parenting Issues 14 05-25-2010 12:14 PM
Still trying to get a child support order fedupp Financial Issues 3 03-17-2009 11:16 AM
How credibility is affected in the eyes of Judges. gooddadgoingmad Divorce & Family Law 12 03-12-2006 04:05 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:47 PM.