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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 11:39 PM
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I have been in my kids lives longer then their dad, in the last 8 years, I say nothing but good things to say about the other parent, and try to get other parent to spend time with kids, but throwback in our faces as what I did for you, other parent is eow, but has never taken long weekends or holidays, when cas was involved he took his kids more as a favour to us.
I wish the other parent would spend time with his kids, as they are great, but some people are not built that way and are just about them.

I wish people on this site could see that, but I also wish custodial parents would let other parent see child for a few hours or over night, or a weekend or a week.

Kids are amazing, and not pawns, let the other parent fuck it up on there own or let them surprise you and be apart of the kids life
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Old 11-06-2017, 12:17 AM
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[QUOTE=kate331;225068]Mine calls it "babysitting" to give me a "break". IMO parents dont get a break, nor babysit their children.

I do have to say I do love babysitting and as a favour to you, this is over and above, because you canít handle them, if you have no one else, if I must, I have to check, Iíll get back to you, Iíll do this for you, really I have to have them three weekends in a row, Iíll make it up to them one day, can we switch but keep it the same, Iíve got plans for the holidays, Iíll tell you when I will take the kids, you should thank me,
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Old 11-06-2017, 08:09 AM
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I tried to allow him into my life six years ago. It took three years before he reverted back to the selfish behaviour that led to my parents split. I dont speak to him anymore now. Its really sad because despite the trials of my parents split, my siblings and I are awesome people and he missed out.

As difficult as it is on your kids, they will see the truth and who is there for them. You can also look into community groups like big brothers and also talk to your local family services. There are lots of groups for kids without parents or children of divorce. The most important thing is to remind them that its not them, its their parent. Kids feel like they have done something. For the longest time I thought I had driven him away, that we had misbehaved to make him unhappy etc. Now as an adult I see its his issue not ours. But it took a great deal of time and maturity to see. Plus I had a great doctor who reminded me that I dont have to feel guilty for removing negative people from my life
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Old 11-06-2017, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemongirl View Post
Am I wrong to say no to sporadic access requests when he is not following the agreement at all?
You posted this in the "family law" section of the forum. Therefore, the answer is that you can say no to any access request that is not provided for in the agreement.

If you had posted this in the "parenting", I would have said that you should facilitate access as much as possible. I wouldn't let the kid know in advance. Morning of I would text flakey Dad and see if he is still coming, and if he is then tell kid. Otherwise, don't tell kid. You take the emotional beating, kid is blissfully unaware.
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Old 11-06-2017, 11:42 AM
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Oh yuck, just saw your other thread about looking for more child support. This is not about the child, you just want to deny access for money.

I should have clued in to the obvious gatekeeping wording of your posting. I'm annoyed at myself.

I'm sorry I provided any advice at all.
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Old 11-06-2017, 11:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Oh yuck, just saw your other thread about looking for more child support. This is not about the child, you just want to deny access for money.

I should have clued in to the obvious gatekeeping wording of your posting. I'm annoyed at myself.

I'm sorry I provided any advice at all.


This may not be a fair assessment. OP didnít say anything about the two being linked. Her ex hasnít provided disclosure on his income is all she mentioned. It could have been going on for a while and she is finally moving to update. Her ex has every other weekend and Wednesday which he is not exercising. I read the two as mutually exclusive from each other.
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Old 11-06-2017, 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I read the two as mutually exclusive from each other.
Perhaps. My initial reading was a mother who was aghast at the emotional turmoil visited upon her child when crappy father didn't show up for his parenting time. I was annoyed at the father, and hoping that the mother could take reasonable steps to create consistency.

But, she's taking the guy to court for money. The courts like to repeatedly emphasize that support and access are unrelated because... well, they are totally related and we all know that. She is hoping to paint a picture of a crappy father who needs to get the book thrown at him, which will result in him getting imputed a high income.

She just wants money. The access issue is a sideshow to justify her money grab. The clue should have been her wording when she said "am I wrong to say no". That is the wording of somebody who is trying to figure out the limits to her power, not somebody who is looking out for her child.

Whatever, I got fooled. Shame on me. Maybe she can fool the judge too.
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Old 11-06-2017, 01:31 PM
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Shes already getting full table support. Theres an income update required. More than likely she requested an update and he refused. She then filed a motion to update and heís stalling and refusing. Now heís pulling the ďdenial of accessĒ because she refuses to let her kid sit at the door waiting for dad to decide heís important.

If they had 50/50 or dad was asking for 50/50 and money came up I would question it but theres not much in what she has posted that shows what you are claiming.

I donít think its unreasonable for a parent to refuse continued last minute requests for a parent who refuses to see their kid. He has time he doesnít use and expects to show up when its convenient for him not kid. How is that fair?
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Old 11-06-2017, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I donít think its unreasonable for a parent to refuse continued last minute requests for a parent who refuses to see their kid. He has time he doesnít use and expects to show up when its convenient for him not kid. How is that fair?
I agree. It is not fair. I was just feeling a bit burned. Perhaps I misread the situation.
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Old 11-06-2017, 02:20 PM
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There could be more but with the limited info it sounds mildly legit. If she came on saying ďcan I say no because he wont pay his supportĒ then I am right there with you Im always iffy on people who refuse to disclose information.
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