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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 01-03-2006, 06:03 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: London,Ont
Posts: 65
Hanging On is on a distinguished road
Default No fault divorce and custody

My lawyer has told me about the "no fault "divorce thing in Ontario - so Ok his adultery does not come into play (too bad) but my question is how does that play out in terms of child custody. I mean in the past 6 months he has left for 2 seperate 1-week vacations with this woman and 4 three-day weekends. And at times when his kids were on vacation and he could have been spending time with them. Also throughout the marriage, he was often at friend's houses, helping this person or that person, ect....This has to look bad in court! I have witnessses as to all this and the documentation to prove it. What do y'all think?
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Old 01-03-2006, 07:57 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 860
Grace has a spectacular aura aboutGrace has a spectacular aura about

This is probably not the answer that you want to hear but, adultery will most likely not have any affect on custody. I recall from your early posts that you are separated yet still living together in the same house. This must be extremely difficult for you emotionally, especially now that he has moved on with a new relationship, yet keeps you dangling. I also recall that you want to keep the house for a while, as to not disrupt the children. Any sign that he's moving out anytime soon?

I'd do your best to settle your differences amiable through mediation or collaborative law first. Court should be your last resort.
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Old 01-03-2006, 08:06 PM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,944
logicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura about
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Hanging On,

I suspect you won't have many problems with custody. It is apparent that he is thinking of other things currently such as vacations etc.

It is apparent that you are the primary caregiver of the children and if the matter did go to court, this would be the opportune time to bring up the sole vacations of him while you looked after the kids and also him not being there for the children regularly etc. You can do this without turning it into a mud sling also.

It is better to get divorce by no fault, as adultery is difficult to prove and you would have to name the other party etc.

Best to wait the year of separation and claim irreconcilable differences.

It is cheaper to negotiate rather than litigate.
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 01-03-2006, 11:00 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: London,Ont
Posts: 65
Hanging On is on a distinguished road

Thanks for both your replies...He has told me many times that this is "his" house (he put down the money for it while I wasn't working and pregnant with our second child, and then put more money in renovations) and doesn't seem to understand that it is 50-50 regardless, and then he says he will not leave. Other times when I ask him to justify how he can live here and put me through this misery knowing he is with someone else, he says he "can't move out because he can't afford it" (oh yeah? how 'bout the 3000-5000$ you've spent so far on trips to see her buddy?). It is gut wrenching (15 years together and never any hint of this!!!) and although I do not want to uproot our children, it looks like I will have to. I will seek joint custody in a primary residence (every second weekend and wednesday nights over night) which will probably add up to more "quality" time than he spends with them now actually. I will get another house once I get custody but I wonder how long I will have to live here while I try to get it???. My friends are afraid he could turn violent when cornered, but I hope not. Anyway, I believe the fact that I am a teacher and have a short workday and lots of vacation time will be in my favor (little babysitting or afterschool care needed). My lawyer seems to think court is the best place since he has said many things that shows he is not willing to negotiate. Please there has got to be some justice in this world!!
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 01-04-2006, 02:16 AM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 45
homer is on a distinguished road

He actually said its "his" house?
Well I think he needs to see the legal documents, and hear the response from a lawyer
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