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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 12-16-2005, 01:23 AM
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IStillLoveHer is on a distinguished road
Unhappy No choice left but to protect my kids and our future.

This will end up being more like a blog to be a haven for me. I am 34 years old this Dec 29th. I have been married to my wife since 1998. We have been together since High School 1989. Many many thoughts are in my head, not of anger but of helplesness. She has been depressed for many years, unsupporting, unmotherly mood swingy and absolutely irrational. Tonight I found on our computer emails she had been sending to an old boy friend (another pain in the past for me) which sounds like nothing more than conniving in how to get out of our marriage with out loosing the kids and everything that I have been trying to build for us. For the past 4 years I have been struggling to get her out of the house and work. She should have graduated from college in 2002 but because she would sleep all day and not go to her classes she ended up failing a class that she had to wait until the next year to take. Yes we have 2 wonderful boys 3 and 10 at the time. Luckily we were sharing a house with her cousin and boyfriend. Her cousin was the one who informed me that my wife was not going to school and sleeping all the time and was taking a lot of Nyquil( an ongoing story). Needless to say I have thanked her still to this day for her help at that time because it was her who would prepare the meals for the house and feed my kids. When she would not be there my wife would have our son make soup or something insane like that. I have failed my boys up to this point in hope that things would turn around with her, but things are just not getting better, now I just feel used and very hurt. end. 12/15/2005 will continue.
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Old 12-16-2005, 09:12 AM
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Default I feel your pain

Hi,

My wife just left....she a good mother.
I going through hell.
To deal with what you have to deal with....I don't even know what to say.
I feel for you and can understand your situation....believe me I can.
People tell me that hope is out there....I can't find it.
If you would like to talk please contact me.
Sometimes it's best just to talk about it with someone.
I don't know where you live but if you live close to me maybe we can go for a coffee.
I live in Oshawa.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
Kind regards,
Brandon
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Old 12-23-2005, 02:23 AM
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To both of you - things seem very tough now I know.
But try to keep your chin up - see your kids and see your friends too.

Dont become a recluse - you need to stay swimming above water.
I wish you both the best of luck.
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Old 12-24-2005, 12:11 PM
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Everyone is going through such a tough time...I feel for you all. An update on my situation, just to vent again!...after my husband had been acting very nice to me and complaining about his "friend" and her son, how they don't appreciate him, how they're always disagreeing, I thought maybe the lightbulb was going on in his head that he is being used...He said he missed me and, like a sucker, I fell for it. Yes, he moved back upstairs, we began sleeping togeter, ect...He swore up and down that nothing was going on with her. But guess what? I called her yesterday and told her what he was doing and saying to me and she acknowledged that they are definitely involved. She was pretty pissed at him. He then had the gall to say he slept with me because "I wanted it" and he never made me any promises, that we were two consenting adults. He is pure evil I think. And this used to be one of nicest guys you would ever meet. Has anyone ever gone through anything like this? I feel so alone and stupid. Why doesn't he just leave? Why sleep with two women at once? It's so gross. I feel so violated. I loved him sooo much for so many years without even an incling as to what kind of person he could become. What kind of person does this? ....Now I am afraid he'll leave and not give me any child support until ordered too. Does anyone know how long it could take for them to make him pay? And this is the day before Christmas.....
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Old 12-24-2005, 11:42 PM
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Grace has a spectacular aura aboutGrace has a spectacular aura about
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Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know it's a painful experience. It is inexcusable what he is doing to you.

He's probably not leaving, as it is never advisable legally, to leave the matrimonial home. As for how long it takes for a support order; mine took 3 months to get to court, but everyone's situation is different. Have you contacted a lawyer yet?

I hope under your stressful circumstances that you find a way to find some joy out of the Holiday Season.

Grace
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Old 12-25-2005, 02:13 AM
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god knows the truth will become famous soon enough
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Don't worry about feeling stupid, everyone wants to believe in true love, you know where the lost partner comes crawling back, begging for forgiveness and realizing that there's no two people in the universe better suited for each other. They realize their mistakes cry, hug , apologize and live happily ever after. We all want that to be reality but it's fantasy(most of the time). You were just hoping against all, like most of us at one time or another.
Aren't you glad and relieved you've seen this "ugly" side NOW, instead of 20 years down the road. Now, your children are with you to keep you focused,give you purpose and direction until you figure things out.
I took my ex back (no woman involved) on several occasions,KNOWING subconsciously that it was a matter of time before we split again; It was not "IF we're going to split up, but WHEN. I allowed him back many times, against my better judgement.
Relax and have a very Merry Christmas.
P.S. if he doesn't pay any support for awhile, there are many organizations to help--Salvation Army churches are my 1st choice. You're never alone.
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Old 12-25-2005, 11:18 AM
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I thought my ex was my one true love too. I took him back many times too before we finally got divorced. It happens to a lot of us. I hope you do get the child support though because it will take some stress of of you.
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Old 12-25-2005, 06:02 PM
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Default Thanks

You are all so kind and understanding. Thank God I found this forum. I think I would have lost my mind by now....Anyway, have a Merry Christmas everyone! Seeing the looks of amazement on my little boys faces when they first see all those presents under the tree is always a wonderful experience. My son was interviewed on the radio at his school and he told them that Christmas is "for giving and sharing". I was so proud of him.
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Old 12-26-2005, 12:19 AM
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Hanging On,

I find this forum, a great source on legal information, and a great place to vent. I was an emotionally wreak 3 years ago, but time does heal. You can move forward.

If you feel your marriage is unrepairable, then its time to move on. Get some good legal advice. Perhaps it is time in the new year to make alternative living arrangements. It must be difficult to live under the same roof with your ex, under your circumstances.
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Old 12-26-2005, 11:46 AM
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I have tallked to a couple of lawyers and found one I am going to go with - she's a female and a bull-dog to put it lightly. I'm not out for revenge, I just know my husband is going to contest everything, because he's in "me" mode right now. It is very difficult living under the same roof but I'm hanging on because I don't see why I should have to uproot myself and the kids for stuff he's doing. Besides, I think the other woman has told him to leave me or else. Sounds like she's getting fed up too. I have a feeling because he's so infatuated with her, he'll do just about anything to keep her happy. Maybe he'll leave soon. That would be a Christmas present in and of itself!
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