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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2016, 12:31 PM
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You can ask for an adjournment so you get a lawyer. Even if you go to the court. You tell the judge you do not agree at all and would like an adjournment
It is your right. In fact you either go to court or call the clerk and explain your situation.

DO NOT SCREW UP THIS STEP. THIS IS CRITICAL.

Yes, a lawyer will probably take you as long as yuo have sometthing they can seize one day.

If you choose to self-rep - you write an affidavit summarily refuting all her points, and file a counter motion asking for the things I mentioned before. I am not familiar with the exact procedures where you are but

DO NOT REPRESENT YOURSELF AT THIS STAGE. ANYTHING YOU AGREE TO WILL HAUNT YOU.

The judge probably cannot make any ruling against you without you having a lawyer UNLESS UNLESS you accept.

DOES she know you got a job? If not keep it a secret or quit.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2016, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruskr View Post
Everything is owned or tied to her family..
This time last month I was a stay at home dad.
At the time of my initial separation my husband removed all of the money and, with help of his family and girlfriend, hid everything. It was me against a large family. Fortunately I had friends. I was able to have my pick and choose of pretty much any lawyer I wanted. Even if you have to borrow money from friends - do it. Matrimonial property act in Alberta comes into play.... unless you have specifically signed away your interest in the matrimonial home (with independent legal counsel) you do, in fact, have asset - home. A lawyer will explain this to you. Don't worry, the lawyers always get their money. You certainly aren't the first person to be in the situation you find yourself in.

Divorce is a dirty business. Access to your children is of paramount importance and you can't afford to risk that.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2016, 01:42 PM
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ruskr ... you're getting some fantastic information fro some great, experienced posters here who have been through it. I agree with all the posters advice on this thread.

I was in a similar situation .. so go back to my post and re-read the custody/access stuff. Links, Arabian and others are giving you golden advice about the matrimonial home and finances.

As long as you're being straight with us we can help. I'm not sure if you got charged and I'm curious how the judges were so quick to provide no contact orders, etc for your ex if she couldn't prove any of it. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that nothing happened though.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-20-2016 at 01:48 PM.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2016, 02:08 PM
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I really appreciate all of this advice. I'm going to be on the phone first thing tomorrow morning and hopefully I can figure something out between getting a lawyer, and getting my hands on her affidavits to know what she is accusing me of so I can figure out where to go from here.

And LovingFather, the no contact order was from the police not the court. It's a condition of my promise to appear for that court date in January to dispute the assault charge. It hasn't been charged yet.
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Old 11-20-2016, 02:37 PM
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I agree with everything that has been said up to this point. Getting the job was insanely stupid. You are liable to make other irreversible mistakes. You need a lawyer until you are receiving spousal support and are seeing the children.

Some other points:

1) Be prepared for sticker shock. You might have to pay $10,000 or more over the next couple of weeks. If the money will be coming from family, start calling. Perhaps you need to call your credit card companies and increase your credit limits. You can do that today.

2) Be prepared to not settle. You will be told that things will change at trial, and that everything is temporary. That is completely untrue. Anything you agree to now will almost certainly become permanent. It is ok to be forced into things, but you cannot undo things that you agree to do.

3) You may be made an offer that goes along the following lines: "Agree to see the kids 35% of the time and we will drop the assault charges and all the court stuff will go away". That is a trap, don't fall for it. You gain in the short term and lose horribly in the long term. Having the kids 35% of the time is an unmitigated disaster. The assault charge will not stick. Don't let that assault charge tempt you into a real problem.

4) Figure out your minimum requirements now, before you speak to the lawyer tomorrow. How much support do you need? How much time with the children do you need?

5) Related to #3, you should decide that you want your kids 50% of the time, not a second less. Decide that today, before the lawyers and everyone starts to talk to you and change your mind and tell you that 40% is enough. That's bullshit. 50% is a battle worth fighting.

Good luck.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2016, 03:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruskr View Post
I really appreciate all of this advice. I'm going to be on the phone first thing tomorrow morning and hopefully I can figure something out between getting a lawyer, and getting my hands on her affidavits to know what she is accusing me of so I can figure out where to go from here.

And LovingFather, the no contact order was from the police not the court. It's a condition of my promise to appear for that court date in January to dispute the assault charge. It hasn't been charged yet.

You can call the major law firms on Sundays. Law firms are used to this (people get tossed in jail on weekends and they have associates on standby). At the very least you can leave messages to have a lawyer call you back tomorrow. Monday mornings can be difficult to get through (all the divorce people tend to call then after a huge fight on the weekend).
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