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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2015, 03:19 PM
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Suggest not worrying about the afterschool care. Focus on gaining a 50-50 schedule, in which each parent can arrange afterschool care as they like.

The Tuesday and Thursday sucks because it is so many handovers. Probably you want to aim for a schedule where you have Mon+Tues (i.e. after school Mon thru Weds morning) and she has Weds+Thurs (or vice-versa), and you alternate Fri/Sat/Sun. With all pickup/drop-offs at school.

Alternating weeks is also possible, but probably better for when your kid is older.

Don't wait to find a lawyer (that might take a while) to make a formal statement that you do not agree with her actions, and that you will be pursuing an equal parenting arrangement.

How long will it take you to get between the new school and your house? Is it really that big a problem?
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2015, 03:22 PM
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[QUOTE=dinkyface;199442]

Don't wait to find a lawyer (that might take a while) to make a formal statement that you do not agree with her actions, and that you will be pursuing an equal parenting arrangement.[QUOTE]

Via email to her?
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2015, 03:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post

How long will it take you to get between the new school and your house? Is it really that big a problem?
Not a problem at all.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2015, 04:13 PM
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[QUOTE=rookie;199443][QUOTE=dinkyface;199442]

Don't wait to find a lawyer (that might take a while) to make a formal statement that you do not agree with her actions, and that you will be pursuing an equal parenting arrangement.
Quote:

Via email to her?
Yes, via email, in a very courteous and business-like manner. Essentially tell her that you don't agree with her unilateral decision to withhold the child from you. That it is in the child's best interests to have frequent and meaningful contact with both of her parents. That you would like to work out an arrangement that will allow both of you to share in raising your mutual child, as you believe that is in the child's best interest. That should they not act reasonably and/or in good faith, that you will be forced to seek court involvement. That you don't want to go that route as you don't believe that it should be necessary so long as the ex is willing to negotiate a parenting arrangement that is mutually agreeable.

If the ex responds with anything to the effect of "no, you won't get to see your child until this is done", you have your lawyer file a motion requesting immediate parenting time. You use the email as evidence of the ex's intent, and go from there.

I assume this all came about because you two were talking and you told her you were getting a lawyer and taking her to court? If it is, next time keep your mouth shut. Don't open your hand to the ex, it just allows them to plan their next move a head of time. Also, if it was a phone call, I have a feeling it may have gotten heated. If it did, well, now you see why we say always email. Because email you can read before you hit send, sometimes our mouths don't have that function.

Also, in all emails to your ex, you be respectful. All emails should be written as if the judge is going to look at it, because they just might. There should be no hostile or accusatory language. Keep it kid centric and to the point.

Another comment is don't tell your ex about your life/plans. They don't care, and nothing good can come from it.
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Old 09-08-2015, 05:20 PM
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You also want to go to the new school, introduce yourself to the teacher, go to the office, make sure you are listed as parent and that they have your contact info. Be friendly, go with the attitude that there is no problem, just a formality, that you are excited and eager for a positive start to your involvement in kid's schooling.
Depending on how it goes, you MIGHT want to indicate that there is a very recent split, and that at the moment there is no communication, so could they ensure that both of you are informed of school news/bulletins. They should have no problem with this.
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Old 09-09-2015, 10:24 AM
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Other than get your lawyer asap to avoid that change become fact,
You also have to overcome any inconvenient to pick up you kids as much as possible.
The important things is how much you get in touch , connect with your kids.
Even if your wife did bad things, sometimes, judge see how long it happened, that take into the consideration of stability of child life. Family court case, is child centered, not any parent centered.
Another thing may do good for you, compare the two school and the child's unique somethings that is not best fit in the new school. Etc. And new place compare with old place, remember all about the child, child center, parent convenient weight less
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2015, 10:43 AM
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Based on what you said, it seems your wife got a very reasonable legal advice for have such settings.
Hope someone here can advise you a good lawyer.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2015, 11:52 AM
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Yeah, just yourself into court ASAP. Judge will issue an interim order. Get your affidavit ready if you haven't started already.

As my previous lawyer said, just cause she says it doesn't mean it's true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rookie View Post
The ex just called and texted that until the legal is complete, she will not allow me to see my daughter...
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