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-   -   New addition to the family? (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/new-addition-family-21006/)

LovingFather32 05-08-2017 01:42 PM

New addition to the family?
 
Good day folks. In need of some advice.

My partner and I have been together for well over 3 years, have an amazing little family and are unbelievably happy .. and in love of course.

We're now thinking about having a child of our own before we get too old. :-) We know our kids are on board because they always say they want a little brother or sister. This is definitely something my partner and I want obviously as we make a great team, love kids and want to extend our family.

I suppose my question is .. Will this cause any turbulence in my situation with the ex? As you probably know, we are 50/50, very civil and D5 is happy and doing very well. Will my ex say that we should halt the 50/50 arrangement as we won't have much time for D5? (which we certainly still will obviously)... Will she (or could she) call this a material change affecting the current arrangement?

Just curious on people's thoughts.

Thanks

LF32

HammerDad 05-08-2017 02:07 PM

Your ex can say lots of things. But without a court order or an agreement stating otherwise, the original schedule stands.

People start new families all the time. Your ex would get summarily reamed out by a judge should they try to validate a change based off of you starting a new family.

LovingFather32 05-08-2017 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HammerDad (Post 220313)
Your ex can say lots of things. But without a court order or an agreement stating otherwise, the original schedule stands.

People start new families all the time. Your ex would get summarily reamed out by a judge should they try to validate a change based off of you starting a new family.

Thanks Hammer. That good ol' term "Material Change" is thrown around so much that I just wanted to make sure that this wouldn't constitute one for my ex to ask for a different arrangement.

A friend of a friend of a cousin of a friend said that they heard her say something along the lines of "If LF32 has a child I'm taking away this 50/50". Who knows what truth there is to that .. just thought I'd pose the question.

PeacefulMoments 05-08-2017 04:18 PM

I can't imagine that this could be used against you for a change of custody. If you perhaps wanted to change the 50/50 schedule to a different 50/50 schedule that would better suit your new family life afterwards, your ex could oppose that, but can't see how you could lose current 50/50 over it.

Having said that, just make sure the two of you are prepared emotionally and financially before choosing to bring a new baby into the mix. A baby is a blessing, but also can be the source of a lot of financial and relationship stress.

rockscan 05-08-2017 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovingFather32 (Post 220328)
A friend of a friend of a cousin of a friend said that they heard her say something along the lines of "If LF32 has a child I'm taking away this 50/50". Who knows what truth there is to that .. just thought I'd pose the question.


Will she try kidnapping again? Because that worked so well before...

Hopefully she really IS that stupid so that a judge can take away HER 50/50!

HammerDad 05-08-2017 05:10 PM

Re-partnering and having a child is not a material change in circumstances. It is actually a rather foreseeable and a normal event.

The ex would get destroyed if they tried to pull something like that.

LovingFather32 05-08-2017 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220334)
Will she try kidnapping again? Because that worked so well before...

Hopefully she really IS that stupid so that a judge can take away HER 50/50!

What a nightmare that was. I can't see her doing that but if she did I'd be devastated. I couldn't imagine starting this whole process again.

Quote:

Re-partnering and having a child is not a material change in circumstances. It is actually a rather foreseeable and a normal event.

The ex would get destroyed if they tried to pull something like that.
Thanks again Hammer. Just wanted to be sure I wasn't doing anything that would kick me in the ass later. It's sad that I even have to worry about this kind of stuff.

stripes 05-08-2017 06:22 PM

It's only Mom's business if it negatively affects the well-being of Kid while in your care. Having another child doesn't mean you can't be a good parent to the one you have already. So it's none of her business and you don't need to worry.

Berner_Faith 05-08-2017 06:22 PM

My husband and I are bringing a new child into our family come October. My step kids are absolutely ecstatic... his ex not so much... just be prepared for her to speak negatively to your daughter about the new sibling... my husband received texts from his ex regarding how she wasn't happy and he better not forget his obligations to her kids, which obviously would never happen. Be prepared to talk to your child when she comes to you saying you won't have enough time for her anymore. But to answer the question... your ex cannot use this against you to remove 50-50, besides you have a court order standing behind you.


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Pursuinghappiness 05-08-2017 07:17 PM

Awww...congrats Berner and LF32. Babies are cute (they're loud though).

I wish you both the best in the new additions!!!


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