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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 01-02-2017, 10:52 AM
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Default Need your advice on filing for divorce on adultery

My wife and I are very good friends and we harbor no ill feelings toward each other and we remain very good friends. We have been married for almost four years now. The marriage was more of friendship and companionship. She went on a trip in Spain for 6 weeks and fell in love with another man from Germany. She came back in Oct 31st and told me everything and that she could be pregnant. A week later, she took the pregnancy test and confirmed pregnant. I am 50 to 70% away due to my work and my wife and I have not had sex since she came feom Spain. The child is not mine. She is 12 weeks pregnant now. The child was conceived while she was in Spain. I spoke to the man and I have accepted the situation and I do not blame him. I have decided to move on. We would like to get divorced as soon as possible. And my wife will be moving to Germany and raise the child with him. However, he is unable to claim paternity to the child as my wife and I are not yet divorced. He is in love with her and wants to marry her but the fastest way for her to be with him and live with him in Germany is if he could claim paternity to the child. However he could not claim paternity if my wife is not yet divorced. In Germany, parent of a German child could right away live in Germany as landed immigrant and have permanent residency until the child turns 21. She is due to give birth in July. What would you suggest we do and what is the fastest way for us to get divorced. I would truly appreciate any suggestion/advice on this. I do not want to have my wife branded as adulterer on court. I would love to have a no-fault divorce but if it will hasten the process to file for adultery instead, then we might have to do it.
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Old 01-02-2017, 01:50 PM
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Actually filing for divorce based on adultery is one of the fastest ways to get divorced. I did it. What I understand it means is that you do not have to wait the obligatory 1 year before being granted divorce. If one party will attest to the adultery then you're good to go. This is, of course, assuming that you have no children or other complicated issues?

Go to your local courthouse and talk to family law centre people for specific instructions on how to expedite things.

I wouldn't look at this as "branding" someone - it is merely a truthful transaction.
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Old 01-02-2017, 05:43 PM
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And really, if she'll be in Germany, nobody there will ever read the paperwork here anyways.
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Old 01-04-2017, 10:50 AM
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Have the other party consent to the transgression formally, file for divorce on the adultery and put a separation agreement in place for the financial division with the divorce (equalisation).

If you want it done fast then hire a lawyer to do your paperwork.

I think Links would also recommend that you get a statement of paternity in place where the mother explicitly states that you are not the father and that the actual father sign as well and that you have no obligations (financial or emotional) to the future child. The father should also sign this and it should be notarised.
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Old 01-04-2017, 05:05 PM
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Seriously I refrained from commenting on this because it is absolutely disgusting that after somebody cheated on you clearly with no concern for your feelings or existing relationships qne that you are so concerned for her not to be an "adulterer".... Go get therapy my friend, it isn't natural.
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Old 01-06-2017, 02:14 PM
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you could both file for uncontested divorce, a paralegal could have this done for you. No need to mention anything about her pregnancy. There is no children of the marriage. Not sure if she would admit to adultry, she likely wants spousal support from you.

Once you have the divorce, assuming you have no property to deal with, you cut contact with her (asssuming the child is not yours). You should probably get a DNA test just to be sure, you never know. If the DNA test proves child is not yours you're golden. If you take too long and you have contributed to the child's upbringing you could be responsible for child support.

You should probably speak to a very good lawyer before she takes your life away from you. She's cheated, let her go. She'll do it again, I promise you.

If she doesn't admit to adultry, The other option is to be separated for one year but you don't want to assume responsibility of the child, especially if it turns out to not be yours. You can get a DNA test while she is pregnant. You should look into it.

I can guarantee you she will get custody if the child is yours, because of the child's age and the fact that he/she needs to be breastfed. You will be responsible for child support.

This is a perfect example of how women can screw up lives and get rewarded by our legal system.

Last edited by trinton; 01-06-2017 at 02:20 PM.
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Old 01-12-2017, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
you could both file for uncontested divorce, a paralegal could have this done for you. No need to mention anything about her pregnancy. There is no children of the marriage. Not sure if she would admit to adultry, she likely wants spousal support from you.

Once you have the divorce, assuming you have no property to deal with, you cut contact with her (asssuming the child is not yours). You should probably get a DNA test just to be sure, you never know. If the DNA test proves child is not yours you're golden. If you take too long and you have contributed to the child's upbringing you could be responsible for child support.

You should probably speak to a very good lawyer before she takes your life away from you. She's cheated, let her go. She'll do it again, I promise you.

If she doesn't admit to adultry, The other option is to be separated for one year but you don't want to assume responsibility of the child, especially if it turns out to not be yours. You can get a DNA test while she is pregnant. You should look into it.

I can guarantee you she will get custody if the child is yours, because of the child's age and the fact that he/she needs to be breastfed. You will be responsible for child support.

This is a perfect example of how women can screw up lives and get rewarded by our legal system.
It is natural to think or react like this. But my wife and I are actually very good friends and are perfectly clear about this. I know her very well and she has never taken advantage of anyone in her life. It just happened. She fell in love and she was honest about it from the beginning. We are taking this as adults and trying to solve this. We dont believe in blaming one another. So there is absolutely no danger in her asking for support from me, etc. What we are asking for advice is how we can get divorced faster so we can move on with our lives.
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Old 01-12-2017, 07:11 PM
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One thing to bear in mind - no matter what grounds you use for divorce (adultery or breakdown of relationship), there's still a 30-day waiting period after the judge stamps the papers before either party can remarry. So if your ex is looking to set a wedding date, she should bear this in mind.

(Also bear in mind that for some legal purposes, any child born during a marriage is assumed to be a child of that marriage unless there's evidence to the contrary, so you should probably do as Tayken suggests and get a notarized statement signed by both you and your wife stating that the upcoming child is not yours and you do not intend to assume any parental role).
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